Kuyinselele ukuba nolwalamano nomntu onomda wobuntu obungenamkhawulo (BPD), ngakumbi kuba enye yeempawu zesifo kukungazinzi kolwalamano. Okwangoku, ukuba iqabane lakho linengxaki, mhlawumbi ufuna ukwenza konke okusemandleni ukugcina ubudlelwane. Ukufunda nge-BPD kunye neengcebiso zokujamelana neempawu / isimilo kunokukunceda ukuba uye kulonwabo,ubudlelwane obusebenzayo.
Iingcebiso ezilishumi zoBudlelwane obuzinzileyo
Ngelixa ukuthandana nomntu onengxaki yomda wobuntu kunokubonakala ngathi akunakwenzeka ngamanye amaxesha, kukho iindlela onokuthi uququzelele ubudlelwane kunye naloo mntu ngaphandle kokuya kwi-rollercoaster nabo njengoko behamba phakathi kokuziphatha okugabadeleyo kunye nomoya.
kutheni ingumbono olungileyo ukugcina inani liziko lokulawula ityhefu kwindawo efanelekileyo ekhaya?Amanqaku afanelekileyo
- ImiSebenzi yaBantu abane-OCD
- Ukuluma okugwenxa iPuppy
- Iibhola zeBhola yeBhola
1. Yenza iSicwangciso kwaye unamathele kuso
Ukuba unesoka okanye intombi enesiphene somda wobuntu, ukuthandana nabo kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka ufumane indlela yokulawula indlela oziphethe ngayo ukuze ukwazi ukulawula indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Ukuza kunye amacebo ukujongana nokuziphatha okugqithileyo kweqabane lakho kuya kukunceda ugcine ingqondo yakho iphilile.
- Cinga ngokuziphatha kweqabane lakho kunye nefuthe lokuziphatha kwakho kuwe.
- Yenza uluhlu lwazo zonke iindlela zokuziphatha iqabane lakho elikukhathazayo okanye elikukhathazayo, kubandakanya iimeko apho iqabane lakho likwenzakalisa.
- Yenza isicwangciso esiza kukunceda ulawule isimilo sakho ukuze unqande iimeko zokufaka xa sele beqalisile ukuzikhusela ukuze ukhuseleke ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo.
Umzekelo, ukuba iqabane lakho likutyhola ngokungakhathali, ungahamba kunokuba ukhale. Ukwenza isicwangciso sendlela yokujongana nokuziphatha kuqinisekisa ukuba awuzondli iimpawu zokuphazamiseka ngokuqinisekisa ukuba uhlala uzolile phakathi komcimbi. Uya kuba nakho ukomeleza okungcono, isimilo sokuziphatha.
2. Misela imida
Abantu abane-BPD babonisa iipateni zokuziphatha ezigabadeleyo. Bayangxola, basongele ngokuzibulala (kwaye ngamanye amaxesha banobuzaza), bayamangalela, basola, kwaye bayazikhusela kakhulu. Oku kunokunyuka ukuba awubaphenduli ngokweemvakalelo; Oko kukuthi, ukuba awuthethi nge-rollercoaster yabo kwaye uyacaphuka.
Enye indlela yokunceda ukulawula indlela abaziphethe ngayo kukufundaeyakho imida. Oku kunokuba lula kuba umntu one-BPD unokutyhala imida yemida yakho. Nje ukuba ufunde imida yakho, unokuseta umda:
Chaza ukuba wenzani iqabane lakho ukutyhala imida yakho kwaye uqaphele iziphumo ukuba abayeki indlela yokuziphatha. Umzekelo, ukuba iqabane lakho lisongela ngokuzibulala, ungathi, 'Kulungile, ndibiza amapolisa.' Ndiyathemba ukuba oku kuyakwanela ukuba bazinze, kwaye ukuba enye ebalulekileyo ayizinzisi, ubuncinci uya kuba nalo uncedo oludingayo lokujongana nale meko.
iingoma zokuphulukana nomhlobo wakho ekufeni
Imizamo yokuzibulala yinto eqhelekileyo kwesi sifo. Nokuba uyayiva kakhulu, zonke izoyikiso zokuzibulala kufuneka zithathelwe ingqalelo.
3. Zikhusele
Enye into ebuhlungu nge-BPD kukuba abantu abane-BPD benza ngendlela engenalo uvelwano kwabo babangqongileyo. Ezingqondweni zabo, iimfuno kunye neemfuno zabo zigqithile kwiimfuno kunye neemfuno zabanye. Bahlala behlukumeza, belawula, kwaye bexhaphaza abo babathandayo, bedlala ngokuziva benetyala kunye nemvakalelo yokuzibophelela ukulawula abantu ababangqongileyo.
Ukuya zikhusele ukusuka kule ndlela yokuziphatha, cinga malunga nento umntu wakho omthandayo ehlala ekucela, ekutyhola, okanye ekuhlukumeza de ubonelele. Emva koko cacisa malunga nento oza kuyenza kwaye awuzukuyenza ukuze uzikhusele.
Unelungelo lokukhusela umzimba wakho, izinto zakho kunye nemeko yezemali. Umzekelo, ukuba umntu omthandayo uyakulawula okanye ekulawula ukuba unikezele yonke imali yakho ukuze ayisebenzise ukuthenga imoto entsha, unokuthi, 'Andisayi kukunika mali. Kufuneka ufumane imali ukuze ukwazi ukuthenga izinto ozifunayo. '
4. Yiba Nengqiqo
Umntu oneBPD akanakho ukuqonda okufanayo ngeemvakalelo kwaye akanazo iindlela zokujongana nokuzilawula ngokufanelekileyo. Kufuneka ube nokuqonda okuyinyani kokuziphatha kweqabane lakho kunye nendima yakho ebomini bakho 'njengomgcini.'
Kananjalo kuya kufuneka ugcine ukhumbule ukuba iqabane lakho alingekhe lifunde kulo ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zakho ngokweemvakalelo . Awunakho 'ukunyanga' umntu omthandayo. Umntu omthandayo kufuneka azinikele ekuziphiliseni ngoncedo lonyango.
Kwakhona, kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-BPD kudala ebomini bomntu kukhubaza amandla abo okuqonda kunye nokuqonda, ngenxa yoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba ungabinakho ukuba nolwalamano oluvuthiweyo ngokweemvakalelo.
5. Sebenzisa izincomo
Abantu abane-BPD abakuqhelanga ukufumana ukuncoma. Ukuseka ukuthembana kunye nefuthe kubomi beqabane lakho, Ukuncoma Iqabane lakho lezinto ezincinci abazenzayo ezinokuphawuleka unokumangaliswa kwaye uhambe indlela ende.
Unokusebenzisa ukuncoma ukuvuza indlela yokuziphatha kakuhle, enje ngala 'Ndiyazi ukuba ubuxinezelekile izolo, kodwa ubuphethe kakuhle,' okanye 'Ndiqaphele indlela oyeke ngayo ukundingxolisa.'
unqumle njani ubudlelwane bakho nabazali
Nangona kunjalo, qaphela ukuba kuyafuneka ukuba uvavanye ukuba iqabane lakho likweyiphi imeko. Ukuchaza ukuncoma ngexesha elingalunganga kunokubangela ukusabela okugabadeleyo.
Awusoze ufumane impendulo ngomlomo okanye intetho yombulelo, okanye nokuthukwa xa uphendula. Nangona kunjalo, inokusebenzela abanye abantu abane-BPD, ngakumbi ukuba bafuna ukuncoma. Zama ukuba nje uzimisele. Kuba umntu one-BPD unexabiso eliphantsi, unokwenza okuhle.
6.Ukuqonda ukuba iqabane lakho lisenokuxhatshazwa
Abantu abaye Ukuxhatshazwa okanye ukungahoywa njengabantwana basemngciphekweni omkhulu wokukhula kwe-BPD.
Ngenxa yokuba isimilo somntu oneBPD sibuhlungu ngamanye amaxesha, kulula kakhulu ukusibiza siyayeka okanye asole umntu oneBPD. Kuya kufana nokugxeka umntu ngokufumana umhlaza.
kutheni sinomhla wesikhumbuzo
Nangona kunjalo, esi ayisosizathu sokuvumela umntu omthandayo nge-BPD ukuba akusebenzise okanye akuphathe gadalala. Seta imida yakho kwaye unamathele kuyo, kodwa ngendlela enothando nengagwebanga. Kwakhona, sukuthatha isimilo sabo esibuhlungu. Le yimicimbi yeemvakalelo yomntu omthandayo.
7. Funda ngeBPD
Enye yeendlela onokugcina ngayo ubudlelwane kunye nomntu omthandayo kukuba zifundise malunga nokuphazamiseka ukuze uqonde isimilo somntu omthandayo. Abantu abane-BPD baya kuhlala bekuhlasela ngogonyamelo okanye bazikhusele kakhulu, kwaye abantu bahlala beziva ngathi bayarhuqeka njengoko beqhutywa kwaye begwetywa kwizimo ezahlukeneyo zeemvakalelo kunye nezenzo abaziva bengenako ukuzenza.
Ukufunda malunga nokuphazamiseka kuya kukunceda uqonde indlela umntu omthandayo afumana ngayo izinto. Ukuqonda ukuba umntu omthandayo unembono eyahlukileyo kuya kukunceda uzikhusele kwaye unamathele kwimida.
8. Ukuqonda iMisdiagnosis kuqhelekile
Nge-BPD, ulwazi ngamandla, kwaye ukuba umntu akazi ukuba unale ngxaki, kwaye abantu ababangqongileyo abayazi loo nto, abazi ukuba kutheni umntu wabo emenza ngale ndlela.
I-BPD yaziwa njenge ukungahambelani kakuhle kuba ihlala isenzeka kunye nezinye iingxaki, ezinje 'ukudakumba, ukuxhuzula,ukuhlukunyezwa kwesiyobisi,iingxaki zokutya, kunyeukuphazamiseka koxinzelelo. '
Ukuba iqabane lakho sele liphathwa ngenye ingxaki kwaye ingxaki ayichazi ngokupheleleyo imilinganiselo yokuziphatha kwakhe, kufuneka ugqirha ahlolisise ukuba unokufumana i-BPD.
9.Qonda ukuba ukuZiphatha okuGqithisileyo ziimpawu
Ukuba nobudlelwane nomntu one-BPD kuhlala kuchazwa njengolwalamano 'nothando-uthando', apho umzuzu omnye lowo umthandayo eswele, kwaye umzuzu olandelayo ekugxotha. Unokuba nomjikelo wobudlelwane bomda wokungahambelani nobuntu obenzeka kumlingane wakho.
Abantu abanesi sifo banesidingo esinzulu sokuziva bethandwa, kodwa indlela abaziphethe ngayo kakhulu ibagcina bekwisimo sokuphulukana nolo thando. Ukuphulukana nothando kuxhasa uloyiko olukhulu lokushiywa. Zezi iimpawu zokuphazamiseka , kwaye ayibonisi ukungakhathali okanye iinzame zokukulimaza.
Ziqhelanise noo-D abane
Ukuba imeko ibonakala iphakathi kokunyuka, ziqhelise IiD ezine : 'Ukulibaziseka, ukuphazamisa, ukuguqula ubuntu kunye nokuchonga.'
- Ukulibaziseka: Ndifuna ixesha lokuqwalasela le nto uyithethayo. Masithethe ngayo kamva. '
- Ukuphazamisa: 'Kuthekani ngokuhamba uhambo?'
- Ukuzifanisa kunye nokuchonga: Qaphela ukuba uhlaselo, nokuba lubonakala luyimfihlo kangakanani, luyinxalenye yesifo, ke sukuzithatha buqu okanye ucaphuke.
Fumana Uncedo
Awunakho ukunyanzela iqabane lakho kunyango. Nangona kunjalo, unokulufumanela uncedo, kwaye ngokuzama ixesha elide, unokuqinisekisa iqabane lakho ukuba lifumane uncedo ngokuhamba kwexesha, ngokuzithemba okukhulu, ukungaguquguquki, kunye nomboniso wokwenyani wenkxalabo.
iqhuma elilukhuni emva kokuphola
Umzekelo, unokuthi, 'Ndilapha. Bendingayi kuba andikhathali. '
Ukuba awunamandla kuwe, ukuba nomntu ebomini bakho kunye ne-BPD kunokukwenza uzive ngathi ubomi bakho kunye nobuni bakho buyanyamalala njengoko uzama ukuhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno kunye neemfuno zeqabane lakho. Uya kuba nexesha elinzima lokugcina impilo yakho ukuba unemicimbi eqhubekayo, enje ngoxinzelelo, unxunguphalo, ukuzithemba okuphantsi, okanye ukusebenzisa gwenxa iziyobisi.
Ukuzinakekela kubalulekile. Ukukwazi ukugcina imida eyomeleleyo, eqinisekileyo, engaguquguqukiyo kubalulekile, kwaye ukufumana inkxaso kumcebisi wezempilo yengqondo okanye ugqirha wezengqondo uza kukunceda ugcine impilo yakho ukuze ubekhona kulowo umthandayo ngeyona ndlela inemveliso.
