Enye yezona meko zinzima ukubakho kukuzama ukufumanisaukuba uzothini xa ufuna ukwahlukananomntu. Uninzi lwabantu abanamava okuqhekeka kwintlungu- ukuthetha izinto ezilungileyo kunokunceda ukuba kube lula.
Ungasusa njani ukubhaka kwigrisi
Into oza kuyithetha xa ufuna ukwahlukana kamnandi
Ngandlela thile, kululahlukana nomntuukuba umntu wenze into embi kuwe. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakukhohlisa, unesizathu esifanelekileyo kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuxhasa isigqibo sakho sokuphelisa izinto.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Izinto ezili-10 ezimnandi ukuThetha kwiQabane lakho
- Iindlela ezili-10 zokuYila zokuba Ndiyakuthanda
- Izinto ezili-10 ekufuneka zenziwe ngoMhla wokuqala
Nangona kunjalo, ubomi abuhlali busikiwe kwaye bomile. Ngamanye amaxesha imiqondiso yokuqhawuka kobudlelwane iyabonakala ngakumbi kwaye kunzima ukuyiqonda. Ngamanye amaxesha awusazi nesizathu sokuqhekeka kwakho - uyazi kuphela ukuba kufuneka.
Kukho iindlela ezimbalwa zonxibelelwano eziza kukunceda wazi ukuba uza kuthini xa ufuna ukwahlukana.
Cacisa kwaye uFikelele
Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba 'Kufuneka sithethe.' ngumqondiso wencoko engathandekiyo ekufuneka uyilandele, ke zama ukungabethi ujikeleze ityholo. Sukuyikhupha intlungu ngokuhamba kuzo zonke izizathu emva koko uthi '... yiyo loo nto ndicinga ukuba kufuneka sohlukane.' Kuyo yonke inkcazo, unika umntu ithemba elingelilo lokuba usazama ukwenza izinto zisebenze. Qala ngokucaca, emva koko ungene kwizizathu zokuba, ukuba kukho imfuneko. Kuko konke okwaziyo, bafikelele kwisigqibo esinye- kwaye u-'Ewe, ndicinga ukuba ulungile, 'iyayiphelisa incoko. Unokuthi:
- 'Ndicinga ukuba kufuneka sohlukane.'
- 'Ndivakalelwa kukuba kungangcono xa sibuphelisa ubudlelwane bethu.'
- 'Bendingaziva ndoneliseka ngokupheleleyo kolu lwalamano kwaye ndicinga ukuba kungangcono ukuba sahlukane.'
- 'Emva kokucingisisa, ndicinga ukuba kufuneka sibuphelise ubudlelwane bethu.'
- 'Andisafuni ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane bethu.'
Vula Uvule Inyaniso
Ngokuqinisekileyo ngekhe ulifune iqabane lakhoukuxokakuwe, yinyani kwaye inyani malunga nayokutheni nihlukana. Ukuba lunxibelelwano, xelela umntu apho ucinga ukuba lonakele khona kwaye uthembeke ngalo. Ukuba uye wahlukana nje, mxelele ngokunyaniseka apho ucinga ukuba amaxabiso akho ayaphambuka kwaye kutheni angahambelani. Uninzi lwazo zonke, ukuba awazi ngenene ukuba kutheni kodwa kufuneka wahlukane, cacisa loo nto. Khumbula ukuba ukunyaniseka ayisosizathu sokuba ukhohlakele. Umzekelo, ukuba iqabane lakho alisathandeki kuwe, awudingi ukuthi 'ndicinga ukuba umbi.' Endaweni yokuba ungathetha into egcina isidima seqabane lakho. Ungazama:
uzothetha ngantoni nesithandwa sakho
- 'Andisaziva ngale ndlela ndikuyo ngayo.'
- Olu lwalamano aluzanelisi iimfuno zam kwakhona. '
- 'Andikhululekanga ukuhlala kunye ndisazi ukuba sikwindlela ezimbini ezahlukileyo.'
- 'Andiziva ndilungile ukuqhubekeka nobudlelwane endingaboni ukuba buwenza ixesha elide.'
- 'Xa ndicinga ngekamva lethu, andicingi ukuba siyahambelana ekuhambeni kwexesha.'
Sebenzisa unxibelelwano lokuzibonakalisa
Ngelixa 'ayinguwe, ndim' inokuba yinyani, ihlala ibonakala ngathi ikhutshelwa ngaphandle. Okwangoku, uyafuna ukusebenzisa uninzi 'I' iingxelo, kuba iingxelo 'zakho' zinokuvela ngokulula njengezityholo. 'Awumameli!' ubeka ityala komnye umntu, kanti 'andibonakali ndinxibelelana nawe' ithatha uxanduva. Le ayisiyonto ifanayo nokusola-enyanisweni, ukuzama ukufumana indlela yokuzibeka ityala wena okanye omnye umntu kuhlala kulilize kwaye kuyonakalisa. Endaweni yoko, unokufuna ukuphonononga indlela ezakho izinto- kunye nezenzo zeqabane lakho- ezinegalelo ngayo kwimeko yangoku yemicimbi efuna ukwahlukana. Khumbula ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ubomi buhamba buyeyona ndlela inobuhlobo obunenjongo, kwaye ngenxa yokuba ubudlelwane buphela oko akuthethi ukuba bekungaphumelelanga. Abantu baqhubela phambiliamanqanaba okukhulakubo bonke ubomi babo, kwaye akukho siqinisekiso sokuba baya kuhlala bekhula kunye. Unokuthi:
- Ndinobunzima ekusaziseni iimfuno zam kuwe, kwaye ndicinga ukuba kungangcono ndizisebenzele.
- 'Andicingi ukuba ubudlelwane bethu busempilweni ukuba ndiqhubeke nokuba yinxalenye kwaye ndicinga ukuba kufuneka sohlukane.'
- Ndiziva ndikhathazekile ngenxa yezehlo ezininzi ezithe zenzeka kubudlelwane bethu kwaye ndicinga ukuba kungangcono ukuba siqhubeke.
- 'Andizithembi kubudlelwane bethu buqhubela phambili.'
- 'Andiziva ndonwabile kulwalamano lwethu kwaye ndicinga ukuba kufanele sohlukane.'
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ayithethi loo nto uyithethayo kodwa yindlela othetha ngayo. Xa wohlukana nomntu othile, nobabini niyakuba neentlungu ezininzi-ke zama kakhulu ukuthetha izinto ngobubele kangangoko. Ukuba ungagcina ungangxami kwiqabane lakho ekuphenduleni ngokuzikhusela, uya kuba nakho ukufikelela ekuqondeni ngokufanayo ukuba kutheni ukwahlukana kufuneka kwenzeke. Oko kuyakwenzanincedisane nobabinikwaye ushiye ubudlelwane bakho bube yimemori ethandekayo kunokuba ube sisilonda esinzulu.
