Ukuba ujonga iingcebiso ezimbalwa ngeendlela ezoyikekayo zokubuza intombazana okanye umfana, ingcali yolutsha kunye nombhali u-Annie Fox ugcwele iingcebiso.
Iindlela ezoyikekayo zokubuza intombazana okanye umfana
U-Annie Fox ubengumcebisi kwezobuhlobo kwi-Intanethi kule minyaka ili-10 idlulileyo. Ubhale iincwadi ezininzi kulutsha kubandakanya:
- Isikhokelo sokuSinda kwabaselula kuBudlelwane nokuBalisa
- Ngaba Uxinzelelo Ngaba Ucinga? Isikhokelo solutsha sokuhlala usempilweni xa ubomi busenza ukuba ULALE
- Imfihlo yeSikolo esiPhakathi
- Iincwadi malunga nendlela yokwakha ubuhlobo obuhle bobuKristu kulutsha
- Abafana abakwishumi elivisayo baMihle ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo
- Iimbono zezipho zaMantombazana aBafikisayo
Unothotho lweencwadi ezi-5 ezibizwa ngokuba Ukuya ngokwakho ngeSikolo esiPhakathi nangaphaya ephuma ekwindla lika-2008.
indlela yokuphendula xa umntu esithi uyakuthanda
U-Annie uthathe ixesha lokuphendula imibuzo yethu ngeendlela ezimangalisayo zokubuza intombazana okanye umfana, kanye ngexesha lokufika ekhaya.
Annie, luphi unxibelelwano lwakho lwangoku nolutsha?
Ndifumana i-imeyile engaguquguqukiyo evela kumantombazana nakubantu kwihlabathi liphela bebuza malunga nesoka / indawo yamantombazana, iingxaki nabahlobo, imiba nabazali, njlnjl.
Ulujonga njani ulungelelwaniso lwenkxaso yomntwana wakho
Ngaba kulungile ukuba intombazana icele umfana okanye ifanele ilinde umfana ukuba ayicele?
Ewe kulungile ukuba intombazana ibuze umfana. Le yinkulungwane yama-21! Kodwa njengoko ndibaxelela abafana, nanini na xa uthatha umngcipheko (ngakumbi kumntu ongamazi kakuhle) usengozini yokwaliwa. Lixabiso lokudlala umdlalo wokuthandana. Oko akuthethi ukuba akufuneki uyenze, kodwa uya kuwonyusa amathuba akho okufumana impendulo elungileyo ukuba uthatha ixesha lokwazi lo mfo ngaphambi kokuba umcele.
Ukuba uhamba namathumbu akho 'Hayi wethu, ushushu! Ndizakumcela, 'angathi' ewe. ' Nangona kunjalo unokufumanisa ukuba ubushushu ayisiyiyo yonke into kwaye ayinguye umntu onwabele ukuba kunye naye. Kufana nokuthenga, ngendlela. Ukuba uthatha ixesha lakho kwaye ujonge ukhetho, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhethe into ehambelana nawe kunye nexabiso lakho.
Zeziphi ezona ndlela zimangalisayo zokubuza intombazana okanye umfana?
Ukuze umntu acinge ngale ndlela ubumbuze ngayo (okanye) kuye 'kuyamangalisa', kuya kufuneka umazi umntu ngokwaneleyo ukuba wazi ukuba bacinga ukuba kupholile. Ndeva ibali malunga nentombazana eyayineebhaluni ezilishumi elinambini ezazisiwe kwiklasi yezibalo yomfana awayefuna ukuyibuza eHomecoming. Wayemazi kancinci kwaye eneentloni ngokupheleleyo ziibhaluni kunye nayo yonke ingqalelo. Usenokucinga ukuba yindlela entle yokumcela, kodwa akazange ayiqonde kwaphela!
Ukuba awuyazi into yokuba intombazana yakho okanye umntu ocinga ukuba uyothusa, awubazi ngokwaneleyo ukuba ubabuze. Ungaya phambili kwaye uthumele ii-clown (okanye iibhaluni) kodwa amathuba… awuzukufumana mpendulo ubuyilindele.
Ungaphendula uthini 'Ukuba ndicinga ukuba umntu uyandithanda, kodwa abe engazi ukuba uyadlala, kufuneka ndiyisingathe njani le meko?'
Jonga kwaye ubone ukuba ingqalelo oyifumana kuye yinto ayibeka kuye wonke umntu, okanye ngaba ufumana into ekhethekileyo? Umdlali olinganayo lithuba elilinganayo lokudlala ngothando. Abo ngabafana abonwabela umdlalo-wokudlala kwaye bayenze njengokunyusa i-ego. Amantombazana angafumani luqwalaselo luqinisekileyo kubafana ngawona asemngciphekweni wabadlali. Ke kufanelekile ukuba ubukele. Ukuba intombazana ayinakuxela ukuba umntu uyayithanda kwaye idiniwe kukuzibuza ngayo, ndivotela indlela ethe ngqo. Usenokuthetha into enje kuye. 'Ubusoloko udlala ngam kwaye ndiyazibuza nje, ingaba oku kuthetha into okanye udlala imidlalo nje?' Kuthatha intombazana eqinisekisayo ukuba iphume ize kubuza, kodwa yintoni ekufuneka ilahlekelwe yiyo? Nokuba uyadinwa ngokudlala imidlalo, okanye uzimisele kwaye amxelele ukuba uyamthanda. Ubuncinci akasayi kuphinda azibuze.
Ukuba umntu uneentloni kwaye woyika ngokubuza umbuzo othi 'uza kuya eHomecoming?', Ngaba ikhona enye indlela abanokumcela ngayo omnye umntu ukuba abengumhla wabo?
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ungabuza umbuzo ohlobo oluqhelekileyo onje, 'Ke uza kuya kugoduka?' Ayicacanga ngokuthe ngqo kwaye ayizukusethela ukwaliwa. Ukuba umntu uthi 'Hayi', ungabuza, '' Kuba awufuni? 'Ukuba bathi ewe' unokuthi, 'Unomhla?' Zombini ezi ndlela, incoko iya kuqhubeka, kwaye ukuthetha kuhlala kuyinto entle.
ukuguga ikati ukuba uxela njani ukuba ukulungele ukulala
Ngaba ungabelana ngeengcebiso malunga nokusingatha ukwaliwa?
Ukuba umntu obuzayo akathi 'ewe', inokuba kukuphoxeka. Kodwa ukwaliwa akunakuba nanto yokwenza nawe, ngokobuqu. Umntu unokuphuma edolophini, okanye abe nezinye izicwangciso (ezingagoduki) okanye avume ukuhamba nomnye umntu kuqala. Ndiyathemba ukuba ukwaliwa kweza ngephakheji. Kodwa nokuba ayenzanga, musa ukwenza isivumelwano esikhulu ngayo. Bonisa ukuba uneklasi kwaye ukhulile kwaye uthi, 'Kulungile. Enkosi nangoku.' Sukubaxelela bonke abahlobo bakho kwaye uphinde uwaqambe amagama onke kunye nembonakalo yobuso ethi 'Hayi enkosi' onayo. Yenza nje isiganeko esibuhlungu emva koko ibinjalo.
Ukuba umntu uceliwe ukuba agoduke kodwa angafuni ukuhamba nalo mntu, yeyiphi indlela ebalaseleyo yokuthi 'hayi enkosi?'
Inzima leyo. Omnye wemithetho yam yokuqala ebomini yile: 'Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube ngumhlobo (okanye uphume) nawo wonke umntu ocelayo, kodwa akupholisi ukuba krwada.' Ayikaze ibe ngumbono olungileyo ukukhupha into ongafuniyo ukuyifumana, njengobuxoki, ke eyona ndlela yokusingatha isimemo ongafuni ukusamkela kukwala, ngentlonelo. Usenokuthi, 'Kulungile ukuba ungandibuza, kodwa hayi enkosi.' Awunatyala umntu inkcazo enkulu malunga nokuba 'kutheni' ungafuni ukuhamba nabo. Ayimfuneko kwaye ayilunganga kakhulu kuwe nakwabo. Endaweni yoko, 'Enkosi ngokubuza. Kodwa, hayi enkosi. '
Ukuba awufumani umhla, zeziphi ezinye iindlela zokuya kumdaniso?
Yiya neqela labahlobo nabo abangaphantsi komhla. Ukunxiba kumnandi, ukuba kumnyhadala onje ngokuGoduka kumnandi. Ukudanisa kumnandi. Kwaye uqinisekisiwe ukuba wena kunye nabahlobo bakho anizukuphela kwendedwa apho. Ziphose kuyo!
Leliphi icebiso onalo kumntu oya kumhla wokuqala wokwenene?
Ndiyathemba ukuba uyasiqonda isizathu sokuba igama elithi 'umhlobo' likula magama 'isoka' kunye 'nentombi'. Ngethemba ukuba umhla wakho wokuqala unomntu omaziyo kwaye umthembayo kwaye unesiseko sobuhlobo. Ukuba unayo yonke loo nto uyenzayo kwaye ucace gca malunga nento oyiyo kwaye awukhululekanga ukuyenza (ewe, sithetha ngotywala, iziyobisi, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo) uya kuba ulungile. Yonwabele!
yeyiphi imifuno enokutyalwa ecaleni komnye
Sixelele ngakumbi ngencwadi yakho entsha!
Konke ndikhululekile ukukuthetha ngothotho lweencwadi ezintsha, Ukuya ngokwakho ngeSikolo esiPhakathi nangaphaya , yeyokuba kuya kubakho iincwadi ezintlanu, eyokuqala izakupapashwa ngo-Fall 2008. Incwadi nganye ijolise 'Ekuzihambeleni Ngendlela Yakho' kwiindawo ezinengxaki kulutsha.
Yintoni eyakukhuthaza?
Elula! Abafundi basesikolweni banomcimbi omkhulu wenguqu; Bajikeleza ubuntwana kunye ne-teATO. Kubo yonke into iyatshintsha, FAST. Imizimba yabo, ukuqonda kwabo, ubudlelwane babo nabazali babo, ubuhlobo babo, izinto eziphambili kubo, ukulutha kwabo ukuvunywa ngoontanga, uxinzelelo kwezentlalo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, singasathethi ke ngoxinzelelo lwezifundo kunye nolindelo olunye olubekwe kubo. Konke kunokubenza bazive bengenamandla. Uthotho lwam, ngethemba, luya kubanceda babambelele kukuziva kwabo ukuze bakwazi ukuhamba emanzini. Kuzo zonke iziqwengana ezipholileyo kakhulu ezibhalwe ndim kwaye ziboniswe ngumculi wencwadi omncinci omnandi.
Ngaba zikhona ezinye iingcebiso zokuthandana ongabelana nathi ngazo?
Funda incwadi yam, Isikhokelo sokuSinda kwabaselula kuBudlelwane nokuBalisa , Kwaye ukuba unayo nayiphi na imibuzo yokuthandana, qhagamshelana nje nam nge iwebhusayithi yam .
