Kunzima kakhulu ukuba ngumzali kunye nomnye onayeIimpawu zokuziphatha kakubikwaye ke umda olinganiselweyo wovelwano. Endaweni yoko, kuya kufuneka ujongeubambiswano lwabazali ngaphandle kokuba ezi mpawu zokuziphatha kakubi, kugxininiswa ekuzigqobhozeni kunye nabantwana bakho ekukhohlisweni komzali kunye nomsindo.
Yenza Okona Kulungele Abantwana Bakho
Umntu onotyekelo lokuziphatha kakubi uya kuhlala ebeka iimfuno zabo kuqala. Akayi kubeka abantwana phambili kwaye uya kuzama ukusebenzisa abantwana njengezixhobo kwi-ajenda yabo. Kuba abayi kubeka iimfuno zabantwana bakho kuqala, kufuneka - ngaphandle kweziphumo zokuziphatha kwakho kuye.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Iimpawu ze-7 Ungumzali weNarcissistic
- Izikhokelo zoNxibelelwano eziManyeneyo zabazali ezisebenza ngokwenene
- Izivumelwano zokuba ngumzali
Yiba Ngumzekelo Obalaseleyo
Abantwana bakho kufuneka babone umzali omnye osempilweni. Ukuba abantwana banomzekelo omnye osempilweni ebomini babo, abayi kuphila kuphela, baya kuphumelela. Kuya kufuneka ubabonise ukuba nangona bengazokwazi ukulawula isimilo esingathandekiyo somzali, bayakwazi ukuzilawula. Musa ukuba nomlomo ombi njengomzali osebenza naye kubantwana bakho. Nangona esenza loo nto ngawe, bonisa abantwana bakho indlela elungileyo yokuziphatha.
Ukubuyekeza iNarcissist's Neglect
Abantu abaneempawu zokuziphatha gwenxa abanalo unxibelelwano oluluqilima lweemvakalelo nabantwana babo. Ngenxa yoku kunye nenyaniso yokuba abazibeki phambili iimfuno zabantwana babo kunezabo, abantwana banokuziva bengahoywanga ngokweemvakalelo ngulo mzali. Qiniseka ukuba uyababuyekeza ngokuqinisekisa abantwana bakho ukuba bangabantu abalungileyo kwaye bayathandwa.
Khuthaza umdla wabantwana bakho
Bhalisa abantwana bakho kwimisebenzi ebavumela ukuba baphonononge umdla wabo. Omnye umzali usenokungakukhuthazi oku, njengoko eminye yemisebenzi, efana nemidlalo kunye nokuziqhelanisa kunokwenzeka ngexesha lakhe. Mkhuthaze ukuba azise abantwana kwiminyhadala yabo ecwangcisiweyo kodwa ukulungele ukuyenza ngokwakho ukuba akabambisani.
Kutheni ikhandlela lam lidanyaza kangaka
Khusela abantwana baKho
Abanye abantu abanesimo sokungaziphathi kakuhlengamazwi, ngokwasemoyeni, ngokwasemalini nangokwasemzimbeni. Ukuba iqabane lakho elithandanayo okanye ex ikho nangayiphi na indlelaUkuhlukumeza abantwanaLuxanduva lwakho ukubasusa kwimeko leyo ngokukhawuleza kwaye uqhagamshelane namapolisa ukuze ufake ingxelo. Unokufuna nokuthatha amanyathelo asemthethweni kunye nokubonisana negqwetha eligxile kolu hlobo lwamandla osapho. Kubalulekile ukuba abantwana babenomzali omnye okhuselayo kunye nokubekwa phambili kwengqondo, umzimba nomoya. Ukuba akukhange kubenjalo, olu hlobo lonyango lunokuba yingozi kuphuhliso lwabo, kwaye lubunciphise nobutsha babo obufutshane.
Yintoni ongamele uyenze phambi kwabantwana bakho
Nangona kunokuba nzima ngenene, kubalulekile ukuba uyeke ukungcolisa iqabane lakho okanye umntu ophambi kwabantwana bakho. Oku kubabeka kwimeko yokungakhululeki kwaye engafanelekanga apho banyanzelwa ukuba baqonde imeko engaphaya kokuvuthwa kwabo. Musa ukubakhuthaza ukuba bakhethe amacala, qhubeka nje ube ngumzali ongaguquguqukiyo nothando abanokuthembela kuye. Amathuba kukuba, ngokuhamba kwexesha, baya kuzibonela ngokwabo ukuba banokunxibelelana kangakanani nomnye umzali wabo oneempawu zobundlobongela.
Khulisa iZakhono zaKho zokuXhobisa abantwana baKho
Akukho ndlela yokujikeleza into yokuba umzali wakho osebenza naye uya kuba nefuthe kwimpilo yomntwana wakho. Ukunceda umntwana wakho ajongane neemeko ezingafanelekanga okanye ezonakalisa imvakalelo, mfundise ngeendlela eziphilileyo zokuqhubekeka neemvakalelo kunye nemodeli yazo. Oku kuthetha ukuba xa iqabane lakho okanye umntu wakudala ethetha into okanye esenza into eyenzakalisa umntwana wakho, mfundise:
indlela yokukhupha izandiso ekhaya
- Bhala iimvakalelo zabo kwaye babone ukuba baziva phi emzimbeni wabo
- Thetha malunga nabo kwaye uqinisekise amava abo usebenzisa ulwimi lokulinganisa njenge, 'Kuvakala ngathi uziva ....'
- Ukuba uya kuhlala ulapho kubo njengomzali ongagwebiyo, onothando, kunye nongaguquguqukiyo njengomzali
- Ukufumana iindawo ezinempilo ezifana nokuvolontiya, ukubhala, ukwenza umsebenzi wobugcisa
- Ukuzithobela emhlabeni besebenzisaiindlela zokuphefumlakunye nokuzilolonga
Ukuqwalaselwa kwezomthetho
Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nihlukene, qiniseka ukugcina ifayile ye Isivumelwano sokugcina . Kwiimeko ezinje ngezi, inokuba ngumbono olungileyo ukusebenza namagqwetha anokuzoba amaphepha, endaweni yokusebenza ne ex yakho ngqo. Ngale ndlela unokugcina unxibelelwano olunomda. Ukuba uya enkundleni uyokusebenza ngesivumelwano sokugcina umntwana, inkundla iya kutyumba umntu oza kummela ukuba abonise umdla womntwana kwaye anike nolwazi ijaji ukuba isekele isigqibo sayo. Ukuba iqabane lakho langoku okanye umntu ebekade ekuhlukumeza nangayiphi na indlela kuwe okanye emntwaneni, qiniseka ukugcina iirekhodi ezichaza imihla, amaxesha, kunye nokuziphatha komzali wakho, kunye nento oyenzileyo ukugcina umntwana wakho ekhuselekile.
Funa ukucebisa
Ukuba uqaphela ukuba wena okanye umntwana wakho unengxaki yokujongana nokuziphatha komzali wakho, kunokuba ngumbono olungileyokhangela umcebisiojolise kolu hlobo losapho olunamandla. Ukucebisa lukhetho olukhulu kuye nabani na ofuna ukwandisa izakhono zabo zokulwa imeko, kunye nokuqonda kwabo, ngelixa ethetha nengcali eqeqeshiweyo enokukunceda uyiqonde ngcono imeko oyinikiweyo. Funa ugqirha ukuba:
- Wena okanye umntwana wakho nihlangabezana notshintsho lokutya okanye lokulala
- Wena okanye umntwana wakho unamahla ndinyuka ngokweemvakalelo ekunzima ukujamelana nawo
- Wena okanye umntwana wakho uneengcinga zokuzenzakalisa okanye ukuzibulala (funa uncedo kwangoko ngokubiza amapolisa, umcebisi wakho, okanye aumgca weengxakiukunceda)
- Wena okanye umntwana wakho unezikhalazo ze-somatic, iimpawu zoxinzelelo, iimpawu zoxinzelelo, okanye iimpawu ze-PTSD
Umntwana wakho unokufuna ukuba uye naye kunyango, kodwa gcinani engqondweni ukuba ukuba ingcebiso ilungiselelwe bona ngokukhethekileyo, ukhona ukuze ubanike inkxaso kwaye uyiqwalasele. Ukuba uziva ufuna ukubona umcebisi ngokunjalo, ugqirha womntwana wakho angenza isincomo esifanelekileyo ukuze ukwazi ukwenza ngcono imeko oyinikiweyo.
uyenza njani imilebe yomlomo ukusuka ekuqaleni
Nciphisa uqhakamshelwano lwakho
Kulabo bahlala besebudlelwaneni nomntu onobuntu obuphazamisayo, kubalulekile ukunciphisa ukudibana nabo ukuze uzigcine ukhuselekile ngokweemvakalelo. Kulabo abasekho kubudlelwane nomzali wabo osebenza kunye naye, eyona ndlela ilungileyo kukunciphisa unxibelelwano kangangoko. Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zinokunceda ukunciphisa iinzame zabo zokukukhohlisa.
Kuphephe Ukungavisisani
Abo baneempawu zobunqolobi bayaphumelela kungxabano. Baza kuzama ukukuloba njengendlela yokugcina ubudlelwane kunye nawe. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, eyona nto intle onokuyenza kukukuphepha ukunxibelelana ubuso ngobuso. Endaweni yoko zama ukuqhakamshelana ne-imeyile njengeyona ndlela yokunxibelelana, kwaye usebenzise umnxeba kuphela xa kukho imfuneko. Gcina iincoko zakho ngokungqongqo kumxholo wabantwana kwaye ugcine bonke ubungqina bakho bonxibelelwano. Ukuba incoko ijika iye kwezinye izifundo, buyisela incoko kubantwana. Ukuba uyaqhubeka nokutshintsha umxholo, yigqibe incoko ngokukhawuleza. Hlela ukungathathi cala, iindawo zikawonke-wonke zokulahla kunye nokuthatha abantwana.
Gcina uLawulo
Abo banengxaki yokungaziphathi kakuhle banokuziva ngathi baphumelele ukuba banokukwenza ube nomsindo okanye uphulukane nokuzilawula ngokungxola, ngokulila, okanye ngokucela. Ukuba bayaphumelela, baya kuqhubeka nokuziphatha ngeendlela ezifumana ukonyuka kuwe. Ukuhlala ngokungathandabuzeki kangangoko kunokwenzeka yindlela efanelekileyo yokuhamba kunye nabo. Ukucutha uqhakamshelwano yenye yeendlela zokukwazi ukugcina uzibambe phambi kwakhe.
Lungela
Zifundise. Ukuqonda into enokwenzeka kuya kukunceda ukuba uzilungiselele ukujongana nayo iimeko ezahlukeneyo oko kunokuvela xa ujongana nomzali wakho. Abo baneempawu zobunkunkqele bavame ukukhuliswa kumakhaya angenampilo akhula ngengxabano ephezulu, ngamanye amaxesha ukuphathwa gadalala, kunye nokuncamathiselwa okungenampilo komzali nomntwana. Ke, xa ukhetha ukwahlukana nabo kunye nokunciphisa umda wonxibelelwano, iingxaki zabo zobuntwana zihlala zibangela ukuba bazenze ngokungaphaya. Gcina unxibelelwano lungabikho, kwaye ukuba uziva ungakhuselekanga soloko wazisa abasemagunyeni abafanelekileyo, kwaye ukhusele abantwana ababandakanyekayo.
Cwangcisa okona kubi kakhulu
Abo banengxaki yobuntu bokuziphatha kakubi abaxoleli kwaye balibale. Babambe ingqumbo ixesha elide kakhulu. Bayaphumelela ngokuziphindezela nokuzama ukukwenzakalisa ngokwasengqondweni kangangoko banako kuba baziva belahliwe kwaye benqatshiwe. Cinga ngezi ndlela zokuziphatha njengesipili malunga neentlungu abazifumanayo ngaphakathi njengomntwana kwaye ngoku zibangela abanye. Zilungiselele umlo onzima. Ngaphambi kokuba ubone umntu wakho wakudala ubuso ngobuso, cinga malunga nento oza kuyithetha kwaye uzame ukucinga ngazo zonke iimpendulo ezinokubakho kunye nendlela oza kujongana nazo. Ukuzilungiselela ukusebenzisana kusengaphambili kunokukunceda ulawule ukukhathazeka okwangoku.
Fumana yonke into ekubhaleni kwaye ugcine iiRekhodi
Ukwenza izithembiso kunye nokungalandeli ngokulandelayo yindlela yokuziphatha ye-narcissistic. Qiniseka ukuba ufumana yonke into ebhaliweyo. Ungakholelwa kwizithembiso zomlomo. Angathembisa ukuhlawula inkxaso yomntwana kodwa enyanisweni ubona inkxaso yabantwana njengokunika imali, hayi njengesixhobo sokunceda ukuxhasa abantwana bakho. Sebenza negqwetha lakho ukuze nibhalele kangangoko umyalelo wenkundla. Thetha negqwetha malunga nento onokuyenza emva kokuba yonke into igqityiwe ukuqinisekisa ukuba izithembiso ziyagcinwa.
ungqinisisa njani isipaji somqeqeshi
Gcina imida eQinisekileyo
Ukugcina imida nomntu ongenantlonipho kubo kunzima. Khumbula ukuba awuyigcini imida ukutshintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Ugcina imida ukuzigcina wena nabantwana bakho nisempilweni kwaye nikhuselekile kangangoko.
Qiniseka
Kukho umahluko phakathi kokungena, ukuzithemba, kunye nobundlongondlongo. Ukuba awenzi nto, umzali wakho osebenza naye uya kuhlala efumana indlela yakhe. Ukuba unobundlongondlongo, uzama ukufumana indlela yakho ngokudlalisa umzali wakho. Ukuba uyaziqinisa, umela amalungelo akho ngaphandle kokonakalisa ukuzithemba komnye umntu. Qonda ukuba umzali wakho osebenza naye ngekhe abone izinto ngolu hlobo. Uya kubona nayiphi na imizamo yokuseta umda njengobundlongondlongo kwaye ngokungazi njengokugatywa. Impendulo yabo kuseto lwakho lomda ayiloxanduva lwakho. Imida yakho iya kunika ukungqinelana okufuneka wena nabantwana bakho ukuze nibe sempilweni.
Sukuvuma iimpazamo
Wonke umntu wenza iimpazamo, kwaye kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abantu bafune ukuvuma kwaye baxolise ngeempazamo zabo. Nangona kunjalo, ukwamkelwa kweempazamo kuya kusetyenziswa njengeembumbulu ngumzali wakho. Iimpazamo zinokubethwa zilinganiswe kwaye zisetyenziswe njengobungqina bokuba uyaphambana, awunampilo, ungazinzanga njengomzali. Ukuba wenze impazamo, suka kuyo njengengxaki-yenyani ngokunokwenzeka.
Phonononga ukuba ngumzali ngokufanayo
Ukubambisana kwabazali, okanye abazali ababini abasebenza kunye ekukhuliseni abantwana babo, akunakwenzeka kwiimeko ezinobunzima obuphezulu. Olona khetho lubhetele ngumzali ofanayo. Umzali ofanayo ivumela bobabini abazali ukuba benze izigqibo ngokubhekisele kubantwana xa bephantsi kweliso labo.
Iinjongo zokuba ngumzali ngokufanayo
Zimbini iinjongo eziphambili zokuba ngumzali ngokufanayo. Eyokuqala kukuphepha ungquzulwano phambi kwabantwana. Nangona isiphumo esinye sinokuba kukunciphisa ungquzulwano ngokubanzi, eyona njongo iphambili kukunciphisa inani lempixano ebonwa ngabantwana. Injongo yesibini kukunciphisa unxibelelwano lwabazali omnye komnye. Le njongo ayikokunciphisa unxibelelwano lwabazali nabantwana. Injongo kukuvumela abazali bobabini ukuba bababone abantwana ngelixa benciphisa unxibelelwano phakathi kwabazali.
Ukudala iSicwangciso soMzali esiFanayo
Izicwangciso ezifanayo zokuba ngumzali kufuneka zingqale kwaye zihlala zimiselwe kwisivumelwano sokugcina inkundla. Isicwangciso siyilelwe ukunciphisa unxibelelwano olufanelekileyo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Qinisekisa ukuba isivumelwano sokugcina kwakho sinika iinkcukacha malunga noku kulandelayo:
Iileyibhile zewayini ezinokuprintwa simahla ezinefoto
- Iintsuku ezithile zokundwendwela kunye namaxesha okuqala kunye nokuphela
- Apho ukulanda kunye nokulahla kuya kwenzeka khona
- Izibonelelo malunga nokucinywa kunye namaxesha okuzenzela, ukuba akhona
- Uxanduva lwezothutho
- Inkqubo yokusombulula iimbambano ukuba kukho ukungavisisani phakathi kwabazali malunga neshedyuli yokutyelelwa
Usenokunqwenela ukuqaphela ukongeza izinto ezinje ngokuba nguwuphi umzali onoxanduva lokwenza imisebenzi- umzekelo, omnye umzali unokuthatha uxanduva lwezemidlalo ngelixa omnye umzali ethatha uxanduva lomnye umsebenzi. Njengoko olu luxwebhu olusemthethweni, thetha negqwetha lakho malunga nemigaqo eyongezelelweyo onokuyifuna.
Ungaze uyeke
Amathuba kukuba, umzali notyekelo lokuziphatha kakubi akanakutshintsha kakhulu. Yinyani ngoku. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yabantwana bakho, zama ukugcina izinto ngoxolo kangangoko. Oku akunakusebenza, nokuba wenza ntoni. Khumbula nje ukuba nangona ungenako ukulawula indlela aziphethe ngayo omnye umntu, unokuzilawula. Eyona njongo iphambili kukuba abantwana bakho babe nakho ukuba nobudlelwane nabazali babo bobabini abangenangxabano ngangokunokwenzeka. Yenza loo njongo yakho ngalo lonke ixesha unxibelelana nomnye umzali wabantwana bakho.
