UKarol Ward, uLCSW
zithini izinto ezi-5 zokuqina komzimba?
Ingcali yeKarol Ward, i-LCSW yingcali yezengqondo, isithethi esaziwayo kwilizwe kunye nombhali Khangela ilizwi lakho langaphakathi . Kolu dliwanondlebe, unika iingcebiso eziluncedo kuye nakubani na osandula ukuphelisa ubudlelwane.
Ukufumana kwakhona kudliwanondlebe lokwahlukana
Zeziphi iimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo abantu abahlangabezana nazo emva kokuba iqabane labo lahlukene nabo?
Uninzi lwabantu lufumana ukungakholelwa, umsindo, ixhala kunye nosizi olunzulu. Kukho uloyiko lokuba into ocinga ukuba iya kuqhubeka ayizukuqhubeka. Uluhlu lweemvakalelo aluyi kulandela ulandelelwano oluthile kwaye ngamanye amaxesha xa abantu bziva benomsindo kakhulu, bayothuka ngenxa yeemvakalelo zabo zosizi kunye nokuphoswa lixesha labo langaphambili. Yonke loo nto iqhelekile. Amaxesha amaninzi, abantu badlula kwixesha lokuzibek 'ityala kunye nokuqikelela kwesibini. Banexhala lokuba ikhona into abayenzileyo ebangele ukuba ubudlelwane buphele, kodwa ungalibali igalelo lomnye umntu ekwahlukaneni. Kubalulekile ukuhlela ezo mvakalelo ukuze ufumane umbono olungeleleneyo. Into edla ngokubangela umdla kukuba umntu owahlukane naye uhlala ekwabelana ngokuba 'unoluvo' into engalunganga kwaye udwelise ezinye zeempawu azibonileyo kodwa wakhetha ukungazihoyi. Ukuhamba ngokuchasene nethuku nokungathethi kwabangela ukuba kubekho iintlungu ezingakumbi.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo
- Iifoto ze-10 Couping Kissing
- Igalari ye-7 yoMhla woNwabo woMhla woBusuku
- Iimpawu ze-10 zeQabane lokuKopa
Zeziphi iingcinga ezihamba ezingqondweni zabantu emva kokuba iqabane labo lahlukene nabo?
Enye yezona zinto zixhaphakileyo endikhe ndabona abantu becinga ngazo yindlela aboyika ngayo ukuba abasokuze baphinde bamfumane umntu kwaye abanakucinga ukuphuma ngomnye umhla. Olu hlobo loxinzelelo kunye nokungazithembi lubonisa kanye emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Oku 'kukhubeka kwexesha elizayo' okanye ukucinga izinto ezingakhange zenzeke yindlela yokuzama ukuqhubekeka nokwenzakala oziva kuko. Amaxesha amaninzi, asinakucinga ukuba sithandana nomnye kwakhona kwaye, xa siziva sisesichengeni, kunzima ukuba sikholwe ukuba siyakufumana uthando. Ixesha, ukuphilisa kunye nexesha elininzi kuya kubangela ukuba ezo ngcinga zitshintshe.
Kubantu abaqhawule umtshato, zeziphi iintlobo zeemvakalelo kunye neengcinga abanazo?
Kwabo benza ukwahlukana, kunokubakho imvakalelo yokukhululeka, unxunguphalo, ukuzisola kunye nosizi. Ekuqaleni, uxinzelelo luyanyuka kwaye kukho imvakalelo yenkululeko kunye nokukhululwa. Emva kwexesha kunokuba ngumbuzo wesigqibo njengoko umntu esiba nexesha lakhe yedwa-ebangela uxinzelelo. Rhoqo kukho imvakalelo yokuzisola ngokwenzakalisa omnye umntu kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngokungayiphelisi xa wayeqala ukuziva enomdla wokwenza njalo. Okokugqibela, kuhlala kukho ixesha losizi, isizungu njengoko umntu eqonda ukuba ubudlelwane buphelile ngenene. Kwakhona, ezi mvakalelo ziya kuza zidlule kude kubekho uxolo, okanye ubuncinci, malunga nesigqibo.
Iingcebiso malunga nokuPhulukana nokwahlukana
Zeziphi ezinye iindlela umntu anokuthi aqale ngazo ukubuyela kwakhona ekwahlukaneni?
- Zama ukungagwebi naziphi na iimvakalelo ozivayo. Nokuba bonke abahlobo bakho bayavuya ukuba ubudlelwane buphelile, usenokuphulukana neqabane lakho langaphambili.
- Yenza izinto kuphela xa uziva uthanda. Sukukhawuleza uphume uye kwimihla kuba abanye beziva kufanelekile. Ukuba ufuna ukuzikhumbuza ukuba ulumkile, unomdla kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ungumntu onolwazi, ke uya kuba ngumhla. Ukuba akunjalo, zazi kwakhona njengomntu ozimeleyo.
- Qaphela ukuba usengozini kunokuba ucinga. Jonga ukuthandana kwakhona kunye nokuziphatha okungenampilo njengokuzinkcinkca ngotywala okanye ukuzinkcinkca ngotywala okuqhubeka ixesha elide. Zitike xa ufuna kodwa ungavumeli izinto ziphume kulawulo.
- Gcina iindlela zakho zesiqhelo zemihla ngemihla zilula kwaye uziqhelile.
- Hlanganisa nabantu abakuxhasayo nabakukhathaleleyo.
Ukuvumela ukuhamba kunye nokuqhubela phambili
Kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuba abantu bayeke ubudlelwane obuqhekekileyo?
Ngokuqinisekileyo umntu ngamnye, kodwa kumava am, kuthatha malunga neenyanga ezintandathu ukuba iimvakalelo zokuqala zokuba zilungile ziqale ukwenzeka. Xa uziva unamandla ngakumbi kwaye unethemba ngakumbi ngobomi bakho, ungakhuthazeka ngokuba uye waphilisa kwaye waqhubekeka. Gcina ujonge umbono wakho kwezothando nakubudlelwane. Ukuba usaziva unomsindo, ukrakra okanye ungathembi, awukulungelanga. Ukuba uvulekile, unobuhlobo kwaye uxolile malunga nobudlelwane bakho bangaphambili, ulungele into entsha.
Kuthatha ixesha elingakanani abantu ukuba bazive ngathi banokudlulela kolunye ulwalamano?
Kwakhona, kukodwa kodwa ezinye izikhokelo zezi:
- Iholide zangaphambili ezabiweyo okanye isikhumbuzo asikudanisi.
- Uziva ngcono ngawe kwaye uqala ukuqaphela abantu onomdla kubo.
- Unokuphatha ukubukela ii-comedies zothando.
- Ithuku lakho likuxelela ukuba ukulungele ukwanda kwamandla kunye nokuzithemba.
Zeziphi ezinye zezinto abantu ekufuneka bazikhumbule xa beqala ukuthandana kwakhona?
Xa umntu ekulungele ukuthandana, ndibuza ukuba ngaba ikhona into evela kubudlelwane bakhe bangaphambili angathanda ukuyikhumbula. Amaxesha amaninzi abantu baya kundixelela ukuba bafuna umntu oza kubaphatha ngokwahlukileyo. Ndiyabacela ukuba bachaze ukuba kuya kubonakala njani, ukuziva ngathi kunye nokucaciswa. Oku kumalunga nokudweliswa kwamaxabiso asisiseko akho ngokubhekisele kubudlelwane: into oyifunayo, yintoni ongayi kulalanisa kuyo kunye nento ekunokuxoxwa ngayo. Abantu abangcono bazazi ngokwabo, kokukhona baya kutsala ulwalamano abalufunayo. Nyaniseka kuwe kwaye ungayeki kwizinto ezibaluleke ngokwenene.
Ulwazi olongezelelekileyo malunga noQhawulo mtshato, ukuthandana nokufumana iqabane lakho eligqibeleleyo
Khangela ilizwi lakho langaphakathi
Amaxesha amaninzi kukho ixesha lokudideka kanye emva kokuba isibini sichithakele apho siziva sisondele kakhulu. Baziva bethandwa kwaye bayazibuza ukuba oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka bahlale kunye. Oku kunokwenzeka ngenxa yokuba uxinzelelo lokwenza ukuba umsebenzi usebenze kwaye uxinzelelo lokuzama ukuwenza usebenze luphelile. Musa ukudibanisa ukungabikho koxinzelelo njengophawu lokuba kufuneka nihlale kunye. Yithemba ithuku lakho uze uzibuze ukuba ingaba imiba ekwenzileyo ufuna ukwahlukana isekhona, ifihlakele phantsi kwempumlo. Xa uqala ukuthandana kwakhona nikela ingqalelo kwindlela umntu enza ngayo ngomhla wokuqala ngokubhekisele kwixesha, isimilo, imbeko kunye nokuqwalaselwa. Ngokwesiqhelo indlela ababonakala ngayo nabenza ngayo ngaloo mihla yokuqala yindlela abaya kuba ngayo kulo lonke ulwalamano lwakho.
obuphi ubushushu obulala iintsholongwane endlwini
Incwadi yam, Khangela ilizwi lakho langaphakathi inesahluko esibizwa ngokuba yi-Relationship Central, esibonisa indlela onokubona ngayo ubudlelwane obulungileyo ngokusebenzisa imeko yakho. Ikwafundisa abafundi ezinye zezinto ezifihlakeleyo ezibangela ungquzulwano kunye nezixhobo eziphambili zonxibelelwano olungcono.
I-LoveToKnow Dating ingathanda ukubulela ngokungazenzisiyo ku-Karol Ward, i-LCSW ngokuthatha ixesha lokwabelana ngolwazi lakhe kule ngxoxo yoqhawulo-mtshato.
