Imbongi u-Alfred Lord Tennyson wabhala ngokudumileyo ukuba 'kungcono ukuthanda nokulahleka kunokuba ungazange uthande konke konke,' kodwa oko kuyintuthuzelo encinci xa ujongene nentliziyo ebuhlungu. Uyenza njani into yokuba umntu okungcatshayo, akushiye, okanye angakuthandi kangangoko ufuna?
Ukujongana no 'Kutheni?'
Xa iubudlelwane buyaphela, Umntu omnye uhlala eshiye ebuza ukuba 'Kutheni?' Kutheni iqabane lam liziphethe kakubi kangaka? Kwakutheni ukuze angazixabisi izinto ezintle endizenzileyo? Yintoni ingxaki yakhe? Yintoni engalunganga ngam? Akunqabile ukuba ufumane impendulo ethe ngqo kule mibuzo. Rhoqo, omnye umntu uyala ukuthetha ngayo. Ukuba bayaphendula, banokuxoka ukukhusela iimvakalelo zakho okanye ukuzenza bahle. Ukuba iqabane lakho langaphambili lithembekile, ungasebenzisa oko bakutshoyo ukuqala ukusebenza ngeemvakalelo zakho. Ngaphandle koko, kuya kufuneka uqale ukuphilisa ngokwakho.
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Kunokubakho naliphi na inani le-izizathukutheni umntu ephula intliziyo yomnye umntu. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba:
- Ababelani ngeemvakalelo zakho ezinamandla.
- Abakakulungeli ukuhlala phantsi.
- Bayazingca.
- Badidekile.
- Ngumdlalo ongcono womnye umntu.
'Kutheni' ingabalulekanga
Inyaniso yokufumana ukwaphuka kwentliziyo ngakumbi malunga nawe kunabo. Ukufumana ubudlelwane obuqinileyo, obunothando buqala ngokuziva ulungile malunga nokuba ungubani. Kwaye oko kubandakanya ukwamkela inyani yokuba ayinguye wonke umntu oya kukuthanda. Nazi ezinye zeendlela zokucinga ezinokukunceda kwindlela yokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
- Kungenzeka ukuba ubungakulungelanga omnye nomnye.
- Ufanele umntu oza kukuthanda ngaphandle kokuzibekela.
- Ufanelwe ngumntu ongasoze akuphule intliziyo.
Iimpawu zoKwaphuka kwentliziyo
Olunye ulwalamano kulula ukuphela kunolunye. Ukuqhekeka kwentliziyo ayisosiphumo esingenakuphepheka salo lonkehlukala. Wazi njani ukuba unentliziyo ebuhlungu okanye uziva ulusizi kancinci kwaye ulangazelela ulwalamano lwakho? Kuyamangalisa ukuba, ukubhlungu kwentliziyo kunokuba neziphumo zomzimba kunye neemvakalelo emzimbeni.
Iimpawu zomzimba zentliziyo ebuhlungu
Ukuba uxinzelelo lokuqaqanjelwa yintliziyo lunzulu, umzimba unokusabela kwisistim somzimba esisezantsi kwaye, ngenxa yoko, amandla okugula. Amandla aphantsi , ukulala kakhulu, kunye nokuhanjiswa sisisu kunye nokugabha kunokuba sisiphumo sosizi kwentliziyo kuba uxinzelelo lunokuphosa ukulingana komzimba ngaphandle.
Iimpawu ezingokweemvakalelo zentliziyo ebuhlungu
Ukophuka kwentliziyo akusoloko kubonakala njengokulila nosizi. Ubumdaka, ukungahambelani kakuhle, okanye ukuphazamiseka kunokuba luphawu lokuba awusebenzisi kakuhle nentliziyo yakho. Ukuba uziva ngathi iimvakalelo zakho zibuchaphazela kakubi ubomi bakho ngenxa ye-hlukala, isenokuba lixesha lokuthetha nochwephesha ononophelo lwempilo yezengqondo oza kukunceda usebenze ngeemvakalelo zakho ukuze uphilise ngokufanelekileyo.
Ukuqhubeka
Kubantu abaninzi, eyona ndlela yokujongana nentliziyo ebuhlungu kukuba 'Lo ebengenguye umntu olungileyo kum.' Ukugcina ingqondo yakho kwiingxaki zakho, hlala uxakekile. Ubomi kufuneka buqhubeke ukuba uza kuphila kwintliziyo eyaphukileyo; Ukuqengqeleka kwintlungu yakho akusisisombululo.
Hlala Uxakekile
Thatha umdlalo omtsha. Joyina isangqa sokuluka, jonga iqela lokuzilolonga, qala iklabhu yencwadi. Ngoku ukuba unexesha elongezelelekileyo (ixesha obuya kulichitha neqabane lakho) ungasukela into owawusoloko unqwenela ukuba nayo. Ngubani owaziyo-ukwahlukana kunokuba yinto ebangela ukuba uqhubeke nomnqweno wobomi bonke.
Hlalisana
Chitha ixesha nabahlobo. Sukuhlala ekhaya kwaye ungenzi nto, kwaye unganikezeli kwisizungu. Yenza izicwangciso, uphume, kwaye uzame ukonwaba. Kungaziva kumnandi ukubona ezinye izibini zizonwabela kunye, kodwa kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba ukwahlukana kwakho ayisosiphelo sehlabathi kuye wonke umntu. Izinto ziqhubela phambili, kwaye nawe kufanelekile.
Ngena kwiMilo
Ukuzilolonga kuqinisekisiwephucula imoodkwaye nditsho nokunceda ngoxinzelelo olungephi. Kwaye kuyanceda ukuba ujongeke ulungile. Iiklasi zokuzilolonga kweqela okanye amaqela okuzilolonga nayo inokuba yindlela entle yokuhlangana nabantu abatsha, ekuncedeni ekuhlaleni ngakumbi.
Coca iiNkumbulo eziDala
Chitha emva kwemini ulahla izinto ezikukhumbuza ngobuhlobo. Ukuba awukwazi ukunyamezela ukwahlula iifoto kunye nokugcina, zifake ebhokisini kwaye uzikhuphele kwigunjana-okanye kungcono, zigcine nomhlobo.
Thatha ixesha lakho
Ungangafuni ukuphinda uthandane kwakhona de kube kubuhlungu iintlungu zentliziyo. Ukulinda kunokukunceda uphephe ukungena kolunye ubudlelwane nomntu ongakulungelanga. Ukulinda kukunika ixesha lokujongana nayo nayiphi na imiba enzulu, njengokuzithemba okanye ulawulo lomsindo, ke ngoko ukwimeko engcono kulwalamano lwakho olulandelayo.
Ukukhangela ipateni
Ukuba ukwaphuka kwentliziyo yinto eyenzeka kuwe rhoqo, nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka ujonge ngakumbi ukuba kutheni ukophuka kwakho kusenzeka. Kule meko, ukubuza 'kutheni' kunokuba luncedo, nokuba uphendula wena kuphela. Nazi iipateni ekufuneka ujonge kuzo abantu obathandayo. Ukuba imihla yakho ibonisa ezi ndlela zokuziphatha, ukhetha amaqabane angakulungelanga.
- Ukuxoka
- Ukukopa
- Ukuthatha inzuzo kwezemali
- Ukulawula izenzo zakho okanye ukhetho
- Ukusebenzisa ubundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni
- Ukunyelisa
- Ungaze uthi 'Ndiyakuthanda' - okanye uyitsho, kodwa ke ukwenza ngathi akuyonyani
Ngamanye amaxesha, kukuziphatha kwakho okutyhala abantu kude. Jonga ezakho iintshukumo ukubona ukuba:
- Thatha ithuba (ngokweemvakalelo, ngokwasezimalini, okanye ngenye indlela) kubantu obathandayo
- Ligxeke iqabane lakho rhoqo, okanye usilele ukulincoma xa izinto ezintle zisenzeka
- Ziphathe ngokuzingca ngexesha lakho okanye ngemali
- Soloko usenza izinto ezingalunganga okanye usoloko ukhalaza
- Ukusilela ukumamela iqabane lakho
- Thatha gadalala, nokuba kukwasemzimbeni okanye emphefumlweni
Xa ukwaphuka kwentliziyo kuyingxaki
Ukuphazamiseka kwentliziyo phantse kuhlala kunexesha elimiselweyo. Kwiiveki ezimbalwa, okanye iinyanga, okanye iminyaka, uya kuba nakho ukujonga emva kulwalamano ngamehlo acacileyo. Unokuziva uzisola, unomsindo, okanye ulusizi, kodwa ayizukuziva ngathi intliziyo yakho ikrazukile.
Njalo ngoku, nangona kunjalo, ukukhathazeka kwentliziyo kuba yingxaki enkulu. Iimpawu ozifaka engxakini zibandakanya:
- Sebenzisa utywala okanye iziyobisi ukunciphisa iintlungu.
- Uziva ulusizi kangangokuba awukwazi ukuphuma ebhedini okanye awukwazi ukwenza umsebenzi wakho.
- Uziva uphelelwe lithemba kangangokuba ucinga ngokuzibulala.
Zonke ezi zizathu zokuba ubone ugqirha wakho, onokuthi acebise iiseshoni ezithile kunye nonyango ukuze akuncede ubuyele ezinyaweni zakho. Ukuba uziva umbi ngokwaneleyo ukuba uzenzakalise, fumana uncedo kwangoko. Inombolo yefowuni ye-U.S. YokuThintela ukuzibulala ku-1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Unokufumana uncedo olungxamisekileyo ngokubiza u-911 okanye uye kwigumbi lakho likaxakeka lasekuhlaleni.
Ukuphilisa Intliziyo
Ukuqhubeka kwexesha usiya kubuhlungu, kokukhona uya kuziva ngcono. Ubudlelwane buphela ngesizathu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha awunakusiqonda isizathu de ube unexesha lokuzibonakalisa ngokufanelekileyo. Cinga ngokwaphuka kwentliziyo njengenyathelo eliyimfuneko ekubeni lolona hlobo luhle kuwe.
