Xa abazali nabantwana baneenkolelo ezahlukileyo zonqulo, oko kunokubangela uxinzelelo, ukuba buhlungu, kunye nokudinwaiingxabano zentsaphoUkungavisisani. Ubudala bakho, ukuba ngaba kukho ukuxhatshazwa okukhoyo phakathi kwenkqubo yosapho, nokuba usahlala nabazali bakho, kwaye ukuba usebenzisa naziphi na izibonelelo zabo zinokuchaphazela indlela onokukhetha ngayo ukujongana nabazali abakhonza kakhulu.
Indlela yokujongana naBazali abaNqamlezayo ngokwenkolo
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ngamagama alula ukuba kubudlelwane obusempilweni nothando phakathi komzali nomntwana, uthando olusuka kumzali luye emntwaneni alunakubakho. Oku kuthetha ukuba ngaphandle kwenkolelo yakho, uthando umzali wakho avakalelwa ngalo akufuneki lusekwe kuyo nayiphi na imeko.
Ngaba abazali bam banokubiza amapolisa ukuba ndihamba nge-17
- Umzali (abazali) wakho uyakwamkela ukuba ungubani kwaye uyakuxhasa ukukhula kwakho emntwini obekufanelekile ukuba ubenguye.
- Umzali (abazali) wakho angayamkela into yokuba uneenkolelo nemilinganiselo eyahlukileyo kweyabo.
- Umzali wakho akakulahli ngenxa yeenkolelo zakho.
- Umzali (abazali) bakho uyaqonda ukuba uyakukhula okanye ukhule ube ngumntu omkhulu owahlukileyo kwaye akalindelanga ukuba ube yicarbon ikopi yabo kunye neenkolelo zabo.
- Ukuqonda amandla oMoya kunye nendlela yokuCofa kweyaKho
- Ukubambisana nokuba ngumzali weNarcissist
- Imibuzo yoMdlalo woSapho
Ukuba umzali wakho unqulo olugqithisileyo, kodwa uziva ukuba uyakuthanda ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye uyayamkela inkolelo yakho, unokuba nobudlelwane obusempilweni nabo ngaphandle kweenkolelo zakho ezingafaniyo. Ukuba ukrokrela ukuba uneubudlelwane obungenampilonomzali wakho kunye nenkolelo yakho yongeza kuxinzelelo, gcinani engqondweni ukuba iyantlukwano yakho yenkolo ayisosizathu esingunobangela wokungasebenzi kakuhle kobudlelane ojamelana nako.
Uhlangabezana Njani Nabazali Abakholwayo?
Yonke imeko iya kwahluka, kodwa ngokubanzi, ungajonga:
- Zijikeleze nabahlobo abasempilweni nabakhuselekileyo kunye / okanye amalungu osapho awamkela ukuba ungubani kunye nenkolelo yakho.
- Yenza imantra ngokwakho onokuyithetha xa uziva ukhathazekile malunga neemeko zakho zosapho. Oku kunokuba yinto enje, 'Kulungile ukuba neenkolelo ezahlukeneyo' okanye 'Kubalulekile kum ukuba ndinyaniseke kum.'
- Gcina ijenali onokuyigcina ngasese kwaye uyisebenzise ukukhupha iimvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga zakho. Sukugcina ijenali ephathekayo okanye efikeleleka ngokulula ukuba umzali (abazali) wakho unembali yokungena kwigumbi lakho okanye kwinto yakho kwaye unokutshintsha.
- Ukuba uhlala nabazali bakho kwaye umncinci kwaye bakoyikisa ngokuphathwa gadalala okanye bebekuxhaphaza kwaye uziva ungakhuselekanga, fumana indawo ekhuselekileyo onokuya kuyo ngokukhawuleza, xelela umntu omdala omthembileyo, tsalela amapolisa okanye umnxeba osengxakini. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba uxhatshazo luthanda ukwanda, ke sukulinda kwaye uhambe namathumbu akho ukuba uziva usengozini.
- Ukuba uza kuhlala nabazali bakho iminyaka eliqela, ungaqala ukuzibekela imida. Oku kuthetha ukuqala ukuyeka umbono wokuba uya kuvuma nabazali bakho malunga nenkolo kunye nokwamkela ngasese inkqubo yakho yeenkolelo. Khumbula, awunyanzelekanga ukuba wabelane nabazali bakho ngayo yonke into. Unelungelo lokuphuhlisa eyakho inkolo kwaye ungazigcina kuwe xa uziva ukwenza njalo kuya kukugcina ukhuselekile.
Ubaxelela Njani Abazali Bakho ukuba Uyakholwa?
Ukuba ufuna ukuxelela abazali bakho ukuba awukho kunqulo, kubalulekile ukuba ujonge indlela abasabela ngayo nokuba uza kuziva ukhuselekile ngokwasemphefumlweni kunye / okanye nasemzimbeni emva koko. Ngelixa abanye abazali besamkela iinkolelo ezahlukileyo, abanye basenokujika kwelinye icala kwaye bamgatye ngokupheleleyo okanye bamkhanyele umntwana wabo.
- Ukuba umzali (abazali) wakho akakuxhaphazi, kwaye ukholelwa ekubeni kungakhuseleka ukubaxelela ezakho izimvo, ungabelana ngenkolo yakho ngendlela engathathi cala ngaphandle kokugxeka iinkolelo zabo.
- Ukuba umzali (abazali) bakho banembali yokuhlukumeza ngokwasemzimbeni kunye / okanye ngokwasemoyeni, kungcono ugcine inkqubo yakho yenkolelo iyimfihlo, njengoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba ayikhuselekanga ukuyivulela.
- Ukuba uhlala nabazali bakho okanye bakunika izinto ezithile, cinga malunga nokuba ubaxelele njani kuya kuba nefuthe kubuchule bakho bokufikelela kwezi zibonelelo, ngakumbi ukuba ufuna ukuziphilisa (ukutya, indawo yokuhlala, njl.
- Ukuba awuhlali nabazali bakho, awuthathi zibonelelo kubo, kwaye abanayo imbali yokuhlukumeza, unokucinga ngokubaxelela ngendlela engathathi cala.
Ngaba kusemthethweni ukuba abazali banyanzele inkolo?
Akukho semthethweni ukuba abazali banyanzele inkolo ebantwaneni babo. Phantsi koMgaqo-siseko wase-United States, bonke abantu baseMelika, kubandakanya nabantwana, banelungelo lenkululeko yenkolo. Nangona kunjalo, ukunyanzelisa eli lungelo ngezenzo zomthetho kuyinto entle kwaye kunzima ukuba umntwana abonelelwe ngokutya, indawo yokuhlala, impahla, imfundo, kunye nokhathalelo lwezonyango, indlela abazali (abazali) abakhetha ngayo ukufaka inkolo kusapho lwabo ukuya ku. Ukusebenzisa inkolo njengendlela yokuhlukumeza okanye ukuxhaphaza umntwana wakho nangayiphi na indlela yaziwa njengokuhlukumeza ngokomoya kwaye ayisiyongozi nje kuphela emntwaneni, kodwa ikwasisizathu sokuba iiNkonzo zoKhuseleko loMntwana zibandakanyeke
Isizathu Sokuba Abazali Banganyanzelisi Inkolo
Umsebenzi womzali kukubonelela ngendawo yothando, yokondla, esempilweni, kunye nekhuselekileyo apho umntwana wakhe okanye abantwana banakho ukuphonononga nokukhula babe ngumntu owahlukileyo ngaphandle koloyiko lokwaliwa ngabazali. Xa inkolo inyanzelwa kwimeko engqongqo engqongqo, umntwana akanikwa thuba lokuvavanya ezakhe iingcinga, inkqubo yenkolelo kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni. Oku kunokuba nefuthe elibi emntwaneni njengoko ekhula ebadaleni ngokuthi:
- Ukomeleza umbono wokuba abanako ukuzicingela
- Ukomeleza umbono wokuba iinkolelo zabo ziphosakele
- Ukuphakamisa uxinzelelo lwasekhaya kunye nokungaboni ngasonye, oko kunokukhokelela kwiimvakalelo zangaphakathi zesiphithiphithi njengesiqhelo
- Yandisa umngcipheko wokukhula kweempawu zempilo yengqondo kunye nokuphazamiseka
- Ukuchaphazela kakubi amandla abo okuba nolwalamano lwabantu abasempilweni
- Ukuchaphazela kakubi amandla abo okuthemba amathumbu abo
Ukulawula abazali beNkolo
Ukuba abazali bakho bayalawula xa kufikwa kwinkolo, kunokwenzeka ukuba bangqongqo malunga nendlela abaphila ngayo ubomi babo kunye nomzali ngokubanzi. Gcina ukhumbule ukuba umxholo wenkolo mhlawumbi uyisiphelo seqhwa kwaye unokuma ngakumbi njengomzekeliso wokuba ubuhlobo bakho nomzali wakho bukhangeleka njani. Ngokulawula abazali ngokugqithileyo, unokuziva okanye uqaphele:
- Ukungaqondwa kakuhle, ukwaliwa kunye nokujongwa
- Utyhafile, usecaleni, kwaye uyoyika ukuba nguwe
- Ukuzithemba okuphantsi kuwe kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukwenza izigqibo ezizizo
- Kunzima ukugcina ubudlelwane obuphilileyo
- Ukuzifumana ungazi nto utsaleleka kumaqabane angqongqo, anamandla, okanye alawulayo
Misela imida efanelekileyo
Ngenxa yokuba ubazi kakuhle abazali bakho, unokusebenzisa imbali yakho nabo ukuqonda ukuba ngaba ukubeka imida yinto onokuyenza. Ungaseta imida ukuba:
- Akukho mbali yokuphathwa gadalala sele ikukunyhashwa okungathethekiyo kwemida
- Usete imida ngempumelelo kwixa elidlulileyo kunye nabo kwaye baye bahlonitshwa (umzekelo: ukuba uthi, 'Andiziva ndikhululekile ukuthetha ngaloo nto,' ngaba uyanyanzelwa okanye uyatyhalwa ukuba uxoxe okanye ngaba imida yakho iyahlonitshwa?)
- Uziva ukhuselekile ngokwasemoyeni ukuba usete imida ethile kunye nabo
Ukubeka imida efanelekileyo kunokubonakala ngathi uyabahlonipha imbono zabo zonqulo, kodwa baphonononga iinkolelo zakho, okanye ubazise ukuba awukhululekanga ngokuxoxa ngesihloko esithile senkolo ukuya phambili. Unokuthatha isigqibo sokungayi kwimicimbi ethile yonqulo okanye uthathe inxaxheba kwiinkonzo zonqulo. Kuxhomekeke kuwe ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuba uyintoni kwaye awukhululekanga yiyo. Ngelixa abanye banokuziva bekhululekile ngeeholide ezithile zonqulo, okanye ukuya kwinkonzo yezenkolo, abanye banokungafuni ukuthatha inxaxheba kuyo nantoni na eyinkolo.
Funa inkxaso yangaphandle
Ukuziva ungamkelwa ngabazali yenye yezona zinto zibuhlungu kakhulu kunye nokuziva ungaboni kwaye uziva amava omntwana, nokuba sele ekhulile. Ukuba uziva ngathi abazali bakho bakukhanyele, abakwamkeli, abakuqondi, okanye basekele uthando lwabo kuwe kwiimeko ezithile, licebo elilungileyo ukufumana ugqirha onokukunceda wenze oku. Nangona ukungavumelani ngokwenkolo kunokuziva njengeyona ngxaki iphambili kwinkqubo yosapho, kusenokubakho amava abuhlungu kunye nemiba yokuncamathisela ngaphantsi komhlaba.
Ukujongana nawo onke amalungu osapho
Nokuba uhlala namalungu osapho lwakho okanye awukho, kukho iindlela zokujongana ngokufanelekileyo xa izimvo zakho zahlukile:
- Khumbula ukuba ukuba ngumntu omdala oqolileyo nosempilweni kuthetha ukuqonda ukuba ayinguye wonke umntu ozokwabelana ngenkolelo yakho, ke kubalulekile ukuba uyihlonipheInkqubo yenkolelo yosapho, nokuba ayingowakho.
- Ukuba amalungu osapho lwakho azisa inkolo kwaye uziva ungonwabanga, fumana iindlela zokunciphisa unxibelelwano kunye / okanye uzisuse kuloo meko ngendlela ehloniphekileyo.
- Ukuba amalungu osapho lwakho alwa kakhulu malunga nenkolo, musa ukuzibandakanya nabo. Unokuthi, 'Ndiyaluhlonipha uluvo lwakho', 'Makhe ndicinge ngaloo nto', okanye 'ndiyakuva' ngaphandle kokuqhubeka nokuqhubeka nencoko. Ukuba izinto ziba shushu ngokwenene, zisuse kuloo meko.
- Zikhumbuze ukuba kulungile ukuba uzicingele kwaye uneenkolelo ezahlukeneyo kunamalungu osapho lwakho. Ngelixa oku kunokuba buhlungu kwaye kube nzima ukwenza, gcinani engqondweni ukuba unokubonelela ngenkxaso kunye nokwamkelwa ngothando ngokwakho.
- Zijikeleze ngokwamkela abahlobo onokuba nguwe.
- Fumana iindlela ezisempilweni zokukhupha kunye nokuqhubekeka namava akho kunye namalungu osapho lwakho.
Uhlangabezana Njani Nabazali Abakholwayo?
Kuxhomekeke kwiimeko zakho ezizodwa kunye nabazali bakho, kuya kufuneka ukuba uyihlolisise imeko phambi kokuba wenze naziphi na izigqibo malunga nokubeka imida efanelekileyo, ukwabelana ngeengcinga zakho, kunye nokufuna inkxaso yangaphandle.
