Ukwenza isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato kunokuba nzima kakhulu. Nje ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokwenza njalo, kubalulekile ukuba uzive ukulungele ngokupheleleyo ukuqala le nkqubo kwaye ujongane ngokufanelekileyo neemeko ezahlukeneyo kunye nokuphendula okunokuthi kwenzeke emva koko.
Ukulungiselela iNcoko
Ngaphambi kokuba uqalise incoko nomyeni wakho, zinike ixesha lokucwangcisa iingcinga zakho. Cinga malunga nento ongathanda ukuyithetha kuye kunye nezizathu zakho zokufuna ukwaba olo lwazi. Into owabelana ngayo akufuneki isetyenziselwe ukonzakalisa iqabane lakho. Xa abantu beziva behlaselwa, bathambekele ekuqhubekeni ukuzikhusela , esenza incoko engathandekiyo.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Iingcebiso zoMama abangatshatanga
- Ukwabiwa ngokulinganayo koqhawulo mtshato
- Ukulinda Indoda Eqhawula Umtshato
Zibuze le mibuzo ngaphambi kokuba nincokole:
- Kutheni ndifuna ukuqhawula umtshato?
- Buzotshintsha njani ubomi bam emva kwale ncoko?
- Buzobanjani ubomi bam ngaphandle komyeni wam?
- Ngaba ndikulungele ukusabela kwakhe?
- Yintoni endinethemba lokuyitshintsha sakuba siqhawule umtshato?
- Iza kwahlulwa njani impahla yethu? Ngaba siya kufumana umlamli?
- Ngaba ndikulungele ukudlula kule nkqubo inokutsala ixesha elide kunye neemvakalelo?
- Ngaba esi sigqibo sisengqiqweni, ngokweemvakalelo, okanye zombini?
- Zithini iinjongo zam ngale ncoko?
- Ndafika njani kwisigqibo sokuba ndifuna ukuqhawula umtshato?
Ukudala iSicwangciso sakho
Ukuba ukwinqanaba apho uwuthathele khona lo mbandela kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuba ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato, nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokucwangcisa ingxoxo yakho nomyeni wakho:
- Yenza isigqibo kwangaphambili ngento oza kuyithetha. Ukuba unesicwangciso esifanelekileyo, akunakufane uphazanyiswe ngexesha lengxoxo. Unokucinga ukuba ubhala amanqaku ukuze ube nawe ukuba uhlala unamahloni.
- Hlala uzolile kwaye uchaze injongo yakho ngendlela eqinileyo. Khumbula ukuba uxelela umyeni wakho le nto unayo sele isigqibo. Ukuba uqala ukuxhalaba, zama ezinyeingqondoiindlela zokuzibeka phantsi ngaphambi kokuqalisa incoko.
- Sukuyithetha le nto ukuba omnye wenu ebesela okanye esebenzisa iziyobisi.
- Yenza inqaku lokusebenzisa 'Mna' iingxelo xa usabelana ngeendaba. 'Ndiyicingisisile lento, kwaye ndigqibe kwelokuba ndifuna umtshato wethu uphele.' Oku kulungile kunokwenza 'wena' iingxelo ezinje 'Awumameli xa ndifuna ukuthetha' ukuze umyeni wakho atolike ukuba uyamsola.
- Ukuba unenkxalabo malunga nendlela umyeni wakho aza kuyenza ngayo, mcele ukuba adibane nawe kwindawo kawonkewonke evumela ubumfihlo kwaye wazise abantu abaliqela ngendawo okuyo. Yenza ixesha lokujonga ukuze bazi ukuba ukhuselekile.
- Ukuba umyeni wakho wayekhe wakuxhaphaza ngaphambili, lungiselela iindawo zokuhlala ezininzi kwaye unebhegi esele ipakishwe kwaye igxunyekwe kwindlu oceba ukuhlala kuyo. Ukuba ufuna olunye uncedo ngokushiya ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo, zininzi iifowuni kwaye izixhobo ziyafumaneka kuwe.
Ukuba Nencoko
Zininzi iindlela zokwazisa iqabane lakho ukuba awusonwabanga emtshatweni kwaye unqwenela ukuqhawula umtshato. Ukwazi ukuba iqabane lakho lisabela njani kwizifundo ezibuthathaka kunokukunceda ubone ukuba loluphi uhlobo lwencoko olulungele iimfuno zakho.
Iqabane elisebenzayo
Ukuba umyeni wakho unakho ukudubuleka ngumsindo kwaye unobunzima bokuchaza okanye ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe, unokufuna ukuthatha le ncoko uyise kwindawo kawonke-wonke. Xa ujongene nolu hlobo lweqabane, cacisa, ngqo kwaye ungqale. Gcina iinkcazo zakho zimfutshane kwaye zibanzi ngokubanzi ukuze unciphise ukusebenza kwakhe endaweni yokungena kwiinkcukacha zobuntwana. Ukuba uziva ungakhuselekanga, qiniseka ukuba uneendawo ezininzi onokuhlala kuzo okwexeshana de izinto zipholile.
Nangona kubonakala kunzima ukwenza njalo, zama ukuba novelwano kangangoko. Abantu abasabela ngendlela enkulu benzakele kwaye basebenzise iimpendulo zabo ezinkulu njengendlela yokuphazamisa kwintlungu yabo. Oku akuthethi ukuba ufuna ukubathuthuzela, kodwa ukwabelana ngolwazi olu novakalelo kunokunceda.
Zama ukuthi:
- 'Ndiyicinge kakhulu le nto, kwaye ndingathanda ukuqhubela phambili noqhawulo-mtshato lwethu.'
- Olu lwalamano alusenampilo kum, kwaye ndingathanda ukuqhawula umtshato. '
- Ndiyazi ukuba kunzima, kodwa ndikulungele ukuhlala nomhlobo de sizifumane iinkcukacha malunga nokugcwalisa.
- 'Ndifuna ukwenza olu tshintsho lube msulwa kangangoko kwaye ndifumene abalamli abambalwa abanokusinceda ekuqhubekeni phambili noqhawulo-mtshato.'
Iqabane elineNqanaba eliPhezulu
Ukuba umyeni wakho uhlala ezolile kwiimeko zoxinzelelo kwaye enze ngokufanelekileyo ngexesha lempikiswano, unokufuna ukuba nengxoxo ngasese ekhayeni lakho. Ngamaqabane aqondayo ngakumbi, unokwabelana kancinci malunga nokuba kutheni ungathanda ukuqhawula umtshato, ugcine engqondweni iimvakalelo zabo njengoko usenza njalo. Unokuthathela ingqalelo ukuveza inkqubo yakho yokucinga kwaye ujonge ukuba baziva njani. Amathuba kukuba elinye iqabane linjalo andonwabanga , enye injalo.
La maqabane angavuleka ukuba ahlole indlela yokufumana uqhawulo-mtshato, indlela eninokwenza ngayo ukuba inkqubo ibe lula komnye nomnye, kunye nendlela yokuhlala unxibelelana ukuba uyafuna.
Zama ukuthi:
- Kudala ndiziva ndingonwabanga kobu budlelwane, kwaye ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba esona sigqibo sempilo yam kukuqhawula umtshato. Ubuziva njani? '
- 'Esi yayisisigqibo esinzima kum, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba yile nto ndiyifunayo.'
- 'Ndingathanda ukugcina ubuhlobo bethu emva kokuba siqhawule umtshato ukuba nizimisele ukwenza njalo.'
- Ndicinga ukuba ukulamla kungaluncedo. Ucinga ntoni?'
Iqabane kunye noMzali
Ukuba unabantwana neqabane lakho, gcina le ncoko ixesha apho kungekho bantwana bakhoyo. Xoxa ngesizathu sokuba ungathanda ukuqhawula umtshato kunye nendlela ocinga ukuba iza kuba yiyo bhetele kubantwana kukonke. Ukuba umyeni wakho naye ufuna uqhawulo-mtshato, xoxa ngendlela obungathanda ukubaxelela ngayo abantwana emva kokuba nobabini nivumelene ngesicwangciso ukubambisana kwabazali , ukugcinwa, amalungiselelo okuhlala kunye nokuthandana.
Ukuba umyeni wakho uxhathisa ekuqhawuleni umtshato, zama ukuvuma ukungabelani nantoni na nabantwana nide nifikelele kwisigqibo. Ayilunganga ukusebenzisa abantwana njengendlela yokubuyelana kwaye kunokubangela uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo kunye nengqondo kubo ukuba babanjwe phakathi.
Zama ukuthi:
- Ndiyazi ukuba olu iya kuba luhlengahlengiso olukhulu kuthi sonke, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba ndiza kuziva ndiphilile xa sinokuphelisa umtshato wethu size siqhawule umtshato.
- Ndifuna ukusebenza nawe kwaye ndiqhubeke nokuhlala Iqela elomeleleyo labazali . Makhe sithethe ngeendlela ezimbalwa esinokukwenza ngazo oko. '
- 'Okwangoku, masigcine oku phakathi kwethu de sibe sinexesha elincinci lokuyilungisa le meko.'
- Masikhe sibone eyona ndlela yokuncokola nabantwana malunga noku. Zithini iingcinga zakho? '
- Ndifuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana baxelelwa ezi ndaba ngeyona ndlela ixhasayo nenothando. Masicinge ngelona xesha lilungileyo lokubaxelela. '
Umva
Emva kokuba nale ncoko, nobabini ninokuba niziva ngathi nidiniwe ngokwasemoyeni. Iimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo zibandakanya usizi, usizi, ixhala, isiqabu kunye nokudideka. Khumbula ukuba le ncoko sisiqalo nje se- inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato , ke ukuba uziva ukhathazekile, qiniseka ukuba ufikelela kubahlobo, kumalungu osapho, amaqela enkxaso kwaye iingcali zonyango ngubani onokukunceda uhambe kule nkqubo icelomngeni. Yazi ukuba awuwedwa ekufuneni ukuqhawula umtshato, kwaye abafazi ngokwabo bangabaqalisi bale nkqubo kunye nophando oluqaphela amanani njengoko ephezulu Iipesenti ezingama-70.
Ukwenza okona kulungileyo kuwe
Ukuza kwisigqibo sokuya kuqhawulo-mtshato kunokuba nzima, kuyadinisa kwaye kubhlungu ngokupheleleyo. Thatha ixesha lakho xa ucwangcisa ukuba uza kuyenza nini le ncoko, ungathanda ukuyithetha njani, kunye nendlela ongathanda ukuyithetha ngayo. Qinisekisa ukuba izicwangciso zakho zokugcina zilungile ukuba imeko iba yingozi. Khumbula ukuba ububele kuwe kwaye uqiniseke ukuba ufumana inkxaso eyongezelelweyo xa kufuneka.
Ndithanda kangakanani iikowuti zonyana wam
