Emva kweminyaka bezama ukusombulula imiba yabo neentsapho zabo, abanye abantu baziva bebhetele okanye ekuphela kwento abanokuyenza kukusika ubudlelwane nabazali babo okanye amalungu osapho. Nangona kunjalo, abantu bahlala bengakulungelanga ukubuyela umva ngokweemvakalelo abanokufumana ngenxa yokuthatha eli nyathelo.
Ukuqonda inkqubo yeemvakalelo yokusika amaqhina
Ukusika amaqhina sisigqibo sokugqibela kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu kunokuzama nje ukujongana namalungu osapho anzima. Akukho mntu usenza kancinci esi sigqibo. Ukuqonda ukuba ungaziva njani kufanelekileisigqibo sokusika umntu ngaphandlebobomi bakho bunokukunceda ukuba ulungiselele ukuwa.
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Umzekelo wokusika amaqhina nosapho lwakho
Ukujonga kwimeko yokufunda kuyindlela elungileyo yokuqonda ngcono iimvakalelo ezinokubakho emva kokukhetha ukusika ubudlelwane. Omnye umthengi wayenotata owayehlala engena ebomini bakhe. Wayefuna kakhulu ukuba abantwana bakhe bazi utatomkhulu wabo, kodwa akazange akwazi ukuthembela kuye ukuba agcine ilizwi lakhe kwaye wayemdanisa amaxesha ngamaxesha. Igama lomthengi litshintshiwe ukukhusela isazisi sakhe.
'Ndizamile ngamandla kule minyaka idlulileyo, kwaye uzakundishiya ngasemva ngenxa yezithembiso ezaphukileyo,' ucacisile uLydia. 'Ekugqibeleni ndigqibe kwelokuba ndishiye i-roller coaster kwaye ndibuphelise ubudlelwane bam naye. Kwakucacile ukuba akazukutshintsha, kwaye kwafuneka ndimsuse ebomini bam ukuze ndingasoloko nditsalwa kwaye ndidandathekile ndilinde utata onothando ngakumbi. Yayichaphazela yonke into ebomini bam, ubudlelwane bam kunye nendlela endiziva ngayo ngam. Kwakufuneka ndizimele kwaye ndiyeke ukumvumela ukuba andiphathe njengenkunkuma. '
Ukuziva Usentlungwini
Nangona kunjalo, xa umthengi esenza oku, uye wadlula kwezinye iimvakalelo ezingalindelekanga . Ndiyazi ukuba ukumsusa kuyeyona nto ilungileyo kum nakwintsapho yam, kodwa khange ndiyilindele indlela endivakalelwe ngayo ngokwenza oku. Kwakungekho lula njengoko ndandicinga. Ndandibuhlungu ngokusweleka kukatata ngokungathi uswelekile. Ndaziva ndiyinkedama. '
Ukuphosa ubudlelwane obunokubakho
Uyaqhubeka, 'Kwakungekho kangako ukuba ndimkhumbule. Ndilahlekile into yokuba ngenye imini uyakutshintsha, ngelinye ilanga uyakuba lapho kum ngendlela endandifuna ukuba yiyo, nokuba uya kuba luhlobo lotata endandihlala ndifuna.
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba, uLidiya waphoswa kukuba notata kunokuba aphulukane notata wakhe. 'Wayengazange andibonelele kwasekuqaleni, kwaye kwandikhathaza ukuyiqonda loo nto. Emva kokuba ndinqumle ubudlelwane kunye naye, bendingasakwazi ukuzixelela ukuba ngenye imini singasondela kwaye sibe nobudlelwane. Yenze yenzeka into yokwenene, kwaye ndalila kuba ndilahlekelwe. '
Unokuziva Usombululekile
Olunye uluhlu lweemvakalelo uLidiya awazifumanayo yayiyinto yokuba kuya kuhlala kukho amagama ashiyekileyo engachazwanga phakathi kukayise naye. Ngamanye amaxesha, ndifuna ukumtsalela umnxeba ndimazise indlela endiziva ndiphoxeke ngayo kuba engazange azame ngakumbi ebomini bam.
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokunqamula ubudlelwane nabazali bakho okanye amanye amalungu osapho, kuya kufuneka uyamkele into yokuba awusoze ukwazi ukubachazela ukuba uziva njani ukuba bayenzile kwaye kutheni usiva kabuhlungu. Le micimbi ubenayo nabazali bakho okanye ilungu losapho inokuthatha ixesha elide ukuyisombulula, kubandakanya nezo mvakalelo zibuhlungu kunye nomsindo. Kuya kufuneka ufumane ezinye iindlela zokuzenza, ezinje ngonyango okanye amaqela enkqubo yonyango.
Ubudlelwane bufuna ukunika kunye nokuthatha
Rhoqo, abantwana abahlukanisa ubudlelwane nabazali babo babonakaliswa njengabanzima nabangenambulelo. Nangona kunjalo, akukho ngqiqweni ukugxeka abantwana njengesona sizathu sokungaphumeleli kubudlelwane, nokuba sele bekhulile. Ubudlelwane buyindlela-mbini. Ukuba ubudlelwane buyinto engasebenziyo, abazali bahlala bedlala indima enkulu nengacimekiyo kule miba yosapho.
Kuyinyani nakwezinye ubudlelwane bosapho, kwaye indlela osabela ngayo kwiimvakalelo inokufana xa usika ubudlelwane nomntwana, umntakwenu, okanye naliphi na ilungu losapho elisondeleyo.
Kutheni le nto unokukhetha ukusika ubudlelwane kunye nabazali bakho okanye usapho
Ukukhetha ukunciphisa ubudlelwane kunye nelungu losapho, umzali, okanye abazali sisigqibo esinzima kakhulu ukuba usenze. Rhoqo abo bakhetha ukuphelisa ubudlelwane benza oko kuba:
- Umzali okanye abazali babekuxhaphaza ngexesha lobuntwana bakho kwaye awusafuni ukuba yinxalenye yokuziphatha kwabo okungenampilo
- Inkqubo ye-Ilungu losapho lenzakele, isiphithiphithi, kwaye kungonwabisi ukuba phakathi kwabo
- Ilungu losapho okanye umzali akathembekanga kwaye ubeka aisoyikiso kwimpilo yakho yengqondo okanye yomzimba
- Unokukhetha ukusika ubudlelwane nomntu emva kokuba wena ungumzali njengesixhobo sokukhusela umntwana wakho kwiamandla angenampilo
Ukusika amaqhina noMzali omnye
Ukuba abazali bakho batshatile kwaye banomanyano kunye nokusika amaqhina kunye nomnye wabo kuhlala kuthetha ukusika amaqhina kunye nabo bobabini. Umzali ongathanda ukuba nobudlelwane obufanayo naye unokuba kwicala lomzali omnqumlayo. Oku kunokukushiya uzive ukhathalelwe ngakumbi kwaye ubuhlungu. Ngamanye amaxesha umzali ongakhange uqhawule ubuhlobo naye unokukucinezela ukuba uphinde unxibelelane nomnye umzali wakho. Abantakwenu baseYoru nabo banokucinezela ukuba uqhagamshele kwakhona njengoko ushiya usapho olungenampilo olunamandla lubangela ukutshintsha okungonwabisiyo koxinzelelo ekufuneka kubekwe kwenye indawo kwaye amaxesha ngamaxesha kubantakwenu okanye komnye umzali.
Ukusika amaqhina nelungu elinye losapho
Ngokufanayo nokusika ubudlelwane nomzali omnye, ukukhetha ukusika ubudlelwane nelungu elinye losapho kunokubangela ukubuyela umva kwamanye amalungu osapho onxibelelana nawo. Banokuba netyala, bakwenze iintloni, kwaye benze konke okusemandleni ukuze unxibelelane kwakhona. Ekupheleni kosuku, nguwe wedwa onokwenza esi sigqibo sikhulu, kodwa ukwazi ukuba ungaziva ungonwabanga okanye udibene nokudibana namanye amalungu osapho yinxalenye yale nkqubo onokuthi ujongane nayo.
Iziphumo zexesha elide zokusika amaqhina
Ngelixa unokukhetha ukusika ubudlelwane nomntu omnye, oku kungakhokelela kwisiphumo sokungqubana. Ngenxa yokuba izakhiwo zosapho ezingenampilo zinxibelelene kakhulu, xa kususwa isiqwenga esinye (wena), oku kudala imeko engalinganiyo kunye nokungonwabi echaphazela amalungu aseleyo kwinqanaba lokungazi. Oku kungahambi kakuhle kungakhokelela kootatomkhulu, oomazala, oomalume, oomalume, oomalume, kunye nabantakwenu ukuba bazame ukuzama ukukubuyisela kwindima yakho, eya kuthi ivumele usapho olungalunganga lwe-homeostasis ukuba luqhubeke kwakhona, okanye usenokufumana ukwaliwa ngokuqatha. Ngamanye amaxesha, unokuba nelungu losapho elixhasa isigqibo sakho kwaye unokufuna ukushiya indima engeyiyo.
Iziphumo noXolelwaniso
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba akukho nto ugqibe ekubeni isetelwe elityeni, ke ukuba ukhetha ukuphinda uqhagamshele ngaphandle kwemida eyahlukeneyo, unokukwazi ukwenza njalo ukuba elinye iqela lihambelana naloo nto. Kukho ithuba lokuba banokwenzakala kakhulu kwaye abayi kuqhubela phambili ngalo naluphi na uxolelwaniso lwexesha elizayo. Zonke ezi ziziphumo ezinokuthi ziqwalaselwe xa usenza olu khetho.
Ukwenza esona sigqibo siSebenzayo
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba kufuneka wahlukane namaqhina nabazali bakho kwaye le kuphela kwendlela onokuba nobomi obunempilo, obonwabileyo, kunye nobunemveliso, yazi ukuba kukho uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo ngaphambili nokuba esi sisigqibo esifanelekileyo. Ukuqonda ukuba esi sigqibo siyakukuchaphazela ngeendlela ongakhange uzicingele ngazo kuya kukunceda kuhambo lwakho lokuya kunyango. Ukuba awuziva uxhaswa ngokwaneleyo ngabahlobo bakho okanye ngamanye amalungu osapho ngeli xesha linzima, cinga ngokufikelela kumcebisi okanye ugqirha onokukunceda uhambe ngale nkqubo.
