Uh-oh. Izinto zibetha fan kulwalamano lwakho. Ngaba esi sisiphelo? Azilwi zonke izibini? Ke nguwuphi umahluko phakathi komlo osempilweni kunye nalowo ungaphefumlelwanga? Le milo ichaza iimpawu zesiphelo, okanye yintoni kufanele ube sisiphelo.
Makhe 'Ndincede' Utshintshe
Ngumhla wabo wokuqala. I-chemistry ihamba ngophahla. Babelana ngeetoni ezibonakalayo, ezingaqhelekanga ezifanayo . Kodwa ... Ucinga ukuba ukutshaya kuyinto elizothe. Ungumntu otshayayo othi uyayeka. Ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kotywala kwaye akanakuma ukuba phakathi kokusela ekuhlaleni. Uyayonwabela iwayini entle, entle kunye nesidlo sangokuhlwa kodwa amanani ayisiyonto enkulu ukuyinika umntu amthandayo.
amagama aqhelekileyo aqala ngo-jAmanqaku afanelekileyo
- Indlela Yokwahlukana Ngobumnene Nesithandwa Sakho
- Iingxaki zothando loLutsha olu-15 ngokumangalisayo
- Ukwahlula njani isibini ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo
Khawulezisa phambili kwiinyanga ezimbalwa .... Imilo iyaqhuma malunga nokuba 'banokuncedana' njani ukutshintsha imikhwa yabo. Akukho namnye uziva ekhululekile ukuba 'nje' okanye enze ngokwendalo. Inzondo iyaqokelela kwaye ekugqibeleni ikhule yomelele kunezinto eziqhelekileyo ezinokubopha kunye.
URachel Dack, MS, LCPC, NCC, ucacisa ukuba ayingomqondiso olungileyo xa uqala ukulungisa umlingane wakho kufuneka atshintshe njani endaweni yokujonga phambili ekuchitheni ixesha kunye nabo.
Yhu! Uyenzile ... Kwakhona
Lithuba lakho lokucoca igumbi lokuhlambela kwaye ukhuphe inkunkuma, kwaye wena nje yenzeke ukuba nentlanganiso yokuya kwakhona. Kunene. Ufuna nje ukuba ndikwenzele umsebenzi wakho! '
Xa umntu omnye ethatha a ipateni yesityholo, kufana nokuba bahlala begqiba kwangaphambili ukuba omnye unetyala. Ibeka umtyholwa kwezokuzithethelela. Ayibamemi kwingxoxo yokusombulula iingxaki.
NgokukaRussell B. Lemle, Ph.D., i Iimvakalelo zommangaleli inokubangela ukuba bangaziphathi kakuhle indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Banokwenza ngcono ukuba baxelele amaqabane abo ukuba baziva njani kwaye bacele into abayifunayo.
Umtyholwa unokubonakalisa ukudinwa 'kukuzama nokuzama' (okanye ukukrokra kunye nokuzingca). Umtyholwa unokuziva ngathi akanakuphumelela. Banokuthi banqumle ilahleko zabo kwaye bazibize usuku.
Khange ndiyenze lonto ... Ngokwenyani!
Ukwala uxanduva lwezenzo zakho kunokugcina oko kubizwa ngokuba luxolo, kodwa ngokungathandabuzekiyo kubangela isiphithiphithi soxinzelelo komnye umntu. Ngapha koko, uMqeqeshi woPhuculo lwaBantu u-Angela Chernoff uyatsalela umnxeba ukukhanyela uxanduva Inetyhefu.
Thatha le ncoko, umzekelo: 'Hayi, jonga le prune. Kufana nobuso bakho, kuncinci ukushwabana. 'Yhu, uthi ndikhangeleka ndimdala?' Ndandihlekisa. Sukundithatha nzulu! '
Okanye, le meko: 'Ndikubonile uthetha nalaa mntu ukhululekileyo epatini. Kwakubonakala ngathi uyadlala ngawe. Ngaba ubudlala ngothando? 'Yiza. Ndandihlala ndilungile. Ngokungathi . '
bafake imisesane yomtshato ngasekunene
Ukukhanyela kuxoka. Ukuthatha uxanduva ngezenzo, iimvakalelo, okanye iinjongo zikabani kunokuguqula umjikelo ombi. Ngaphandle koko, ukukhanyela kuya kutyhefa kwaye kubulale ubudlelwane.
Ngaba undikhohlisile ngokuKrelekrele kum ... kwakhona?
Akunjalo ukuba kulula ukuthembela ukukopela okokuqala. Umlo wokuqala wokukopa awuzukuhamba ngokugudileyo njengokhrim. Abantu banokukhwaza, baphose izinto, kwaye baqalekise. Kodwa likho ithemba ukuba umntu okopayo ubonakalisa isimilo esithile njengokuyeka ukunxibelelana nesithandwa sakhe kwaye ebonisa ukuzisola okwenyani , ucacisa uDiana Kirschner, Ph.D.
Ngaba kukungcatsha okwesibini? Yiza ngoku! Hayi okuninzi. UStephen A. Diamond, Ph.D. icebisa ukungathembeki kabini yenza ipateni kwaye ibonisa ukungafuni ukutshintsha.
Nokuba umlo uzolile kwaye upholile, ukungqubana kwesibini malunga nokukopela kuthetha ukuba ukuthembana kuphule ngokupheleleyo, kwaye ke ubudlelwane.
Uchitha nje malini?
Sonke singathanda ukukholelwa ukuba uthando lulawula ngokugqwesileyo. Kwaye uthando luyalawula ... okoko nje abantu ababini besabelana ngefilosofi efanayo yezemali kwaye isenzo esifanayo nemali yabo.
Ilizwi kwizilumko: ukuba imilo malunga nemali ikhona kulwalamano kwangethuba, akunakwenzeka ukuba ihambe. Ziya kunyuka, ngakumbi njengoko ubomi babini kunye neeakhawunti zebhanki ezimbini zihlangana kunye. Oku ukufunda Ukuvavanya ubudlelwane phakathi kwemicimbi yezemali noqhawulo-mtshato kuqinisekisa unxibelelwano phakathi kokungaboni ngasonye kwezemali noqhawulo-mtshato.
Ukulwa malunga nemali kuhlala kukhokelela ekuhlawuleni amaxabiso aphezulu okuphulukana nobudlelwane.
Iphupha lakho ayilo phupha lam
Iqabane elinye, ngoku elingasebenziyo, ligqiba kwelokuba lichithe lonke ixesha kunye namandla abo basebenza kwinoveli ebebehlala bephupha ngokubhala kuyo. Lowo uzisa ingeniso uqala ukubonisa ukuba omnye ubulala umntu. Okanye, elinye iqabane lifumana isikhundla solawulo kwinkampani abakholelwa kuyo. Elinye likhalaza ngokungabikho ekhaya.
Xa amaqabane angaxhasi amaphupha kunye neenjongo zomnye nomnye, izinto zibotshelelwe emazantsi. Ingcebiso ngeHarmony ilumkisa ngokubaluleka kokuba 'nomsebenzi wokwenza loo mesh.' Indawo ehambelana neHarmony ikwabandakanya icandelo kwiprofayili yokuchaza eyona nto uyithandayo.
Ukuba elinye iqabane libonisa ingqumbo yobutshaba, ukuhlekisa, ukukruqula kakhulu, okanye ukubonisa ukungabikho kwenkxaso kwiminqweno yomnye, kunokuba yimfoloko endleleni. Ixesha lomntu ngamnye lokuthatha indlela eyahlukileyo.
Ngaba asikho apha ngaphambili?
Ngaba ukhe wayiva intetho ethi 'ukuphinda ujikeleze intaba'? Kuthetha ukuba wenza into enye uphindaphinde ngaphandle kokufunda isifundo sakho okanye ngaphandle kokuyisombulula ingxaki. Ufana ne-LP endala eqhubeka nokudlala idisco endala ye-disco ibetha ngokungapheliyo.
Ukuba isibini sinomlo ofanayo kwakhona, inokuba bayajikeleza intaba kwaye abafundanga kwanto.
Kukho ithuba, nangona kunjalo, lokuba esi sibini sihamba ngomba omnye kwaye yenza fika kwenye indawo ngalo lonke ixesha, ngokungathi ususa isisombululo. Okungakumbi 'kukunyuka kwezitepsi ezijikelezayo'.
Ukuba akukho mntu uzibonisayo, uyavuma ukufumana uncedo, okanye uyavuma ukufuna isisombululo esiphumeleleyo xa umlo ubuya kwakhona, mhlawumbi lixesha lokushiya intaba kwaye hambani ngeendlela ezahlukileyo , Kuthetha uRavid Yosef, Umqeqeshi woLwalamano.
ezona ndawo zibalaseleyo kwiflorida ukukhulisa usapho
Ukulwa? Andilwi!
Uyazi ukuba iqhinga lemfazwe elibizwa ngokuba ngamatye? Endaweni yokujongana nomcimbi, umntu oxhoma amatye akasayi kuphendula, 'ubhala Umbhali weGottman Institute , Ellie Lisitsa. Banokuzama ukuphepha ungquzulwano ngokulungisa, babonakale bexakekile, okanye bechitha ixesha labo kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezingalawulekiyo
Kanye kwithuba elithile, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba iqabane elinye likhululeke lize lilahlekise umlo osakhasayo. Kodwa xa kukuqhubeka nokuziphatha okuphindaphindayo, loo mntu umba kwizithende zakhe kwaye uyala ukubandakanyeka nakowuphi na ungquzulwano, ebeka isisombululo kwangaphambili.
Kwaye yenye yezona milo zibi kunazo zonke ... enye engenzekiyo , utsho uRhoda Mills Sommer, L.C.S.W, B.C.D, A.C.S.W.
Ngaba Ulwalamano Lwakho Luya Kuphela?
Kuhlala kukho ukungafani kumgaqo. Izibini ezininzi zinokutsala eludakeni zibuyele kumhlaba oqinileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kufuna ukuzimisela kunye namandla kuwo omabini la macala ukujonga kakuhle intliziyo yakho kunye nokuziphatha kunye nokuzibophelela ekwenzeni iinguqu ekusombululeni iyantlukwano. Ukuba akunjalo, unokukhetha ukuqhubeka nokuhamba ngezinyuko ezinamaqhina, nokuba unyuka wedwa.
