Umdlalo wokuthandana unzima. Yongeza kubantwana nakwabatshatileyo kwaye kuya kusiba nzima. Fumana ingcebiso yokwenyani kumqeqeshi wokuthandana ngokuthandana nendoda eqhawule umtshato nabantwana. Qonda iimvakalelo abanokuba nazo abantwana ezinokukhokelela kwezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha abanokuthi bazibonakalise kuwe ngeempendulo zabafundi bokwenyani.
Ingcebiso ngokuthandana nomntu oqhawule umtshato kunye nabantwana
Umbuzo woMfundi
Dear Coating Dating Coach: Ndithandane nendoda engama-60 + unyaka onesiqingatha. Ndiphakathi kwiminyaka engama-50. Sixoxa ngomtshato, kodwa sineengxaki ezimbini: (1) unyana wakhe (phakathi kweminyaka yamashumi amathathu) akandithandi. Ngapha koko, sasicwangciselwe ukutshata kathathu kwaye kwafuneka sirhoxise sihlandlo ngasinye kuba unyana wesithandwa sam 'wayengalifumani ixesha.' Akayi kundivumela ndingene endlwini yakhe. Ingxaki yesibini yimali. Andisebenzi kwaye ndikhangela umsebenzi kule ndawo ndihlala kuyo. Isithandwa sam sindixelela ukuba ndiyokufuna ingqesho kwindawo ahlala kuyo. Nditsho ukuba oko akukho sengqiqweni kuba andihlali kwingingqi yakhe, yiyo loo nto imeko yokubamba-22. Andizukuhlala naye ngaphandle kokuba sitshatile. Emva kokuba sitshatile, ucele ukuba ndithengise ikhaya lam kwaye ndibeke imali kwindawo ahlala kuyo (kuye kwafuneka ukuba akhuphe isixa esikhulu ukuhlawula i-ex yakhe). Ngale nto, ndiza kufumana 'umlinganiso olinganayo' kodwa igama lam ngekhe libekho kwisihloko. Nceda Cebisa. -Inikezelwe ngu: USusie T.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- 10 Izimvo Dating Creative
- Izipho ezili-12 zothando kubafana
- Iingcamango ezi-8 zoMhla oMangalisayo weHlabathi
Ingcali Phendula
Othandekayo uSusie T.
Isizathu esinye sokuba unyana wenkwenkwe yakho ayikuthandi ukuba usenokungabi nanto yakwenza nawe nayo yonke into enokuyenza ngokuqhawula umtshato komzali wakhe. Isizathu sokungayi emtshatweni wakho isenokuba yimizamo yakhe engeyomlomo yokwenza ukuba utata wakhe azi ukuba akakuvumeli ukuthandana kwakhe nomnye umntu ngaphandle komama wakhe. Oku kuthetha ukuba umfana othandana naye kufuneka asebenze ubudlelwane bakhe nonyana wakhe. Ungalixhasa iqabane lakho ngokuthi umkhuthaze ukuba achithe ixesha kunye nonyana wakhe kwaye umvumele unyana wakhe ukuba achaze iimvakalelo zakhe ezibuhlungu zokuphulukana nobudlelwane babazali. Ndiyoyika ukuba xa le ncoko ingenzeki, unyana uya kuhlala enesizathu sokungayi emtshatweni kayise. Logama nje umntu othandana naye engafuni ukutshata nawe ngaphandle kwonyana wakhe, izicwangciso zakho zomtshato ziya kufikelela.
Andinguye umcebisi wezezimali okanye igqwetha ngoko ke andinakukucebisa ngomngcipheko ojamelene nawo ukuba ungaphinda utshate. Ndiyakuxelela ukuba ayibobulumko kuwe ukuba utshate ude uqonde iimfuneko ezisemthethweni zokuthengisa indlu yakho kwaye ubeke imali ekhayeni lomyeni wakho ngaphandle kwesihloko. Ndingacebisa ukuba uthethe nomcwangcisi mali okanye umcebisi ngezezimali. Jonga ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba urente indlu yakho kunye nezibonelelo kunye nokusilela okunikezelwa kukurenta. Wena nesithandwa sakho ninokuthetha negqwetha malunga nomtshato ongaphambi komtshato oza kukhusela iiasethi zakho zombini kunye nokwenza umyolelo ngaphambi komtshato.
~~ Lori
Ukuthandana nomntu oqhawule umtshato
Umbuzo woMfundi
Ndithandane nendoda kangangeenyanga ezisithoba. Wayeqhawule umtshato unyaka opheleleyo ekuqaleni kokuthandana kwethu. Ukunikezela ngembali, ndineminyaka eli-14 encinci kwaye saye sajola! Unentombi emithandathu kwaye ndichitha ixesha elininzi naye kunye nentombi yakhe. Ulindelwe ukuba abe nokugcinwa okungama-50-50 kodwa amgcine ama-90% exesha. Kutshanje, inkosikazi yakhe ifumanise ngam kwaye iqhuba intombi yakhe ngeempendulo. Ndixelele isinqandamathe sam ukuba kufuneka sithethe naye simgcwalise ngokwenzekayo kuthi kwaye ke wenze njalo. Xa emxelela ukuba sitshatile, wamxelela ukuba aphume emva koko wamgibisela ngeglasi. Ndifuna nje ukuba yonke into ilunge kwintombi yakhe kwaye nayo ibe nobomi obuqhelekileyo. Ndidinga uncedo ngendlela yokujongana nayo xa ndingena kuye; kuba ngerekhodi lakhe andazi ukuba uzokwenzani. Bendifuna ukwazi ukuba kufanele ndibekhona kwimisebenzi yomntwana wakhe okanye yimpazamo enkulu leyo. Ndacinga ukuba mhlawumbi kungakuhle ukuze abone ukuba ndilungile kwintombi yakhe kwaye andifuni kuthatha ndawo yomntu ekubeni ngumama. Ukuba unayo nayiphi na ingcebiso ngendlela yokuphatha yonke into, nceda undazise. -Igalelo lika: Jessica
Ingcali Phendula
UJessica othandekayo,
Uqhawulo-mtshato lubonisa ukuba abantu ababini ababekhe batshata bahlala ngoku ubomi obahlukeneyo njengabantu ababini abangatshatanga. Nangona kunjalo, xa uqhawulo-mtshato lubandakanya abantwana, ngakumbi abantwana abahlala ekhaya, uqhawulo mtshato aluphelelanga. Abantwana bafuna kwaye bafuna bobabini abazali ebomini babo. Kwizibini ezitshatileyo 'ezonele ngokwaneleyo' ukuqhawula umtshato, ukusebenza nokuba ngumzali ngentsebenziswano kunokuba luncedo kubo bonke ababandakanyekayo. Kwizibini eziza kuqhawula umtshato zilandelwa ziingxabano eziqhubekayo, imiba yobuzali iqinisa kuphela intiyo yomntu ngamnye omdala. Ukuthandana nomzali omnye kuthetha ukuba uthandana nabantwana ngokunjalo. Ngaba obu budlelwane buya kukhula bube yinto yexesha elide, ngoku awuthandani nomzali nabantwana kuphela, kodwa uthandana nomntu wakudala. Ulwalamano olungcono phakathi kwezi zimbini, kuya kuba lula 'kubudlelwane obutsha'. Okukhona ubutshaba phakathi kwabafazi, kokukhona kunzima kulwalamano olutsha.
Ukutshata kwakhona kunokubangela iseti entsha yemiceli mngeni engalindelekanga kwabo betshatile, yiyo loo nto enye yeendima ezinzima ekutshatweni kwakhona ukuba ngumzali wesibini. Le ndima inokuba nemiceli mngeni emikhulu ukuba abazali bemvelo abahambelani. Nangona umlingane wakho wayeqhawule umtshato unyaka ngaphambi kokuba nobabini niqale ukuthandana, ngokuxhomekeke kwindlela awasabela ngayo kwiindaba zokuzibandakanya kwakho, kuya kufuneka nditsho ukuba ubudlelwane babo abukapheli kwaye baneshishini 'elingagqitywanga' uqhawulo-mtshato lusajongana. Oku kubeka umceli mngeni omkhulu kuwe nakwindima ongathanda ukuyidlala kubomi bentombi yesibini oza kuba nayo.
Elona cebiso ndinokukunika lona kukuba ube kakhulu nomonde kwaye uthathe izinto kakhulu ngokucothayo ngendima yakho ngokukhawuleza ukuba ngumama wenyathelo. Ungena kumhlaba ongcayiselweyo kwaye neyona njongo intle kwinxalenye yakho inokumisela ukuqhuma. Zama ukuqonda imeko ngokombono wabo bonke abantu ababandakanyekayo. Okokuqala, umntu oza kutshata naye-uyakuthanda kwaye uyakuthanda. Ungathanda ukuba uhlangane nentombi yakhe kwaye angathanda ukuba intombi yakhe ikuthande njengaye. Kukho intombi. Eyona nto ayifunayo kukuba ngumntwana kwaye bobabini abazali babandakanyeke ngokulinganayo ebomini bakhe. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba unqwenela ngasese ukuba abazali bakhe baphinde babuyelane. Nokuba uyakuthanda, ukutshata notata wakhe kuya kuthetha ukuba umnqweno wakhe ngabazali bakhe awuyi kuzaliseka. Ke kukho imiba yokunyaniseka asacinga ngayo. Ubomi balo mntwana uthandekayo konke malunga nokungaphazamisi iapile. Kulula kangakanani ukutshintsha indlela aziphethe ngayo rhoqo ukuze athandwe ngabantu ababalulekileyo ebomini bakhe?
Okokugqibela, kukho umfazi wangaphambili. Nokuba ziphi na izizathu, khange abe ngumzali ongaguquguqukiyo kwaye ityala linalo kwaye liyamthatha. Ngaphezulu kokulwa ukuthanda intombi yakhe kunye nomyeni wakhe wangaphambili, nanko umntu omtsha eza. Konke ukungakhuseleki kuphezulu kwaye woyika ukuba usekupheleni kwesiphelo somboniso.
Ewe kunjalo, ikho ekufuneka uyiqwalasele; awutyalwanga ngokweemvakalelo njengabo bonke abanye abantu. Sukundenza impazamo, oku kulungile; lixesha elishiyiweyo. Ukuba ujonga ngeenxa zonke, uyabona ukuba baninzi abantu abanamanxeba avulekileyo abafuna ixesha lokuphola. Basengozini, bayoyika kwaye baselusizini kwaye bonke bayayenza le ndlela yabo nakumaxesha abo. Ezinye izinto azinakho kwaye akufuneki zikhawuleziswe. Ukuba buhlungu yenye yezinto ezinokuthabatha ixesha. Ngokuqonda imiceli mngeni bonke ababandakanyekayo abajongana nayo kwaye ube novelwano kwintlungu yabo, uyakube ubonakalisa inkathalo. Ngokunyamezela, uya kuyinceda intombi ukuba ibuyele ebuntwaneni 'obuqhelekileyo'. Ngapha koko, ngokungayi kuyo yonke imisitho kwangoko, ngakumbi leyo bakhoyo kuyo bobabini abazali, ubonakalisa inkxaso yomntwana, umfazi wangaphambili kunye nomntu oza kutshata naye. Kunzima oku kunokuvakala, ukungayi kwimisebenzi yenye indlela anokufana ngayo nawo wonke umntwana. Endaweni yokuba ingqalelo ijolise kwindlela abantu abadala abanokuphila ngayo, lonke ingqalelo ingagxila kuye. Njengokuba amanxeba ephola, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba ubonakale kwiminyhadala. Khuthaza umlingane wakho ukuba axhase intombi yakhe buqu kwaye uvumele ukuba wenze njalo ngokuthumela uthando lwakho, inqaku okanye uphawu lweminqweno emihle.
~~ Lori
