Ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato neqabane lakho elinengxaki yokusebenzisa utywala, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba le nkqubo inokuba ngumceli mngeni, iyakhathaza, kwaye ibuhlungu. Kungathatha ixesha elide kunokuba ucinga ukugqibezela, kwaye iqabane lakho linokunyusa isimilo sabo ukuzama ukukubuyisela ebomini babo.
Uqhawula njani umtshato neqabane elinxilisayo ngelixa uzinakekela
Eyona ndlela yokuqhubela phambili kule nkqubo kukusebenza negqwetha eliqondayo imeko yakho kunye nezinto ojamelana nazo. Oku kunokukunceda ukuba ubhale ntoni, ngawaphi amanyathelo aqinisekisa ukhuseleko lwakho, kunye nendlela yokusebenza kwale nkqubo ngendlela efanelekileyo.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Uya kuphila: Iingcebiso ezi-6 zoQhawulo-mtshato zokuZinakekela
- Uqhawula njani umtshato neNarcissist ngeTactics Tactics
- Buyisela umtshato emva koqhawulo mtshato
Ukuhlala Ukhuselekile Ngexesha Loqhawulo-mtshato
Ngexesha lenkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato, iqabane lakho linokufumana amanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo, kunye nokunyusa isimilo sabo. Ukuba wena, izilwanyana zakho, abantwana bakho, okanye ipropathi yakho basengozini yokufumana ingozi, kubalulekile ukuba ube nesicwangciso sokhuseleko endaweni. Ukuba iqabane lakho beliqhume ngaphambili, okanye belikhe lahlukumeza ngaphambili, qiniseka ukuba wena, abantwana bakho, kunye nezilwanyana zasekhaya ninendawo ekhuselekileyo yokuhlala, yazise igqwetha lakho ngezi meko, kwaye ucele isithintelo kwangoko.
Ubungqina bokuba ulikhoboka lotywala enkundleni?
Eyona ndlela onokuthi ubonakalise ukuba butywala kungokubhala uxwebhu kangangoko unakho, kwaye usebenza negqwetha eligxile ekusebenzeni nabo baqhawula umtshato neqabane elinengxaki yokusebenzisa utywala. Qiniseka ukuba:
- Yiba neengxelo kunye neeleta ezivela kubahlobo kunye nosapho olufakwe kwinkundla yosapho malunga nokusela kweqabane lakho kunye nokuziphatha kwabo okulandelayo.
- Bhala amanqaku ngokucacileyo ukuba nini, phi, kwaye kangakanani iqabane lakho lisela kunye nokuziphatha kwabo okulandelayo.
- Thatha imifanekiso yawo nawuphi na umonakalo wepropathi okanye ukonzakala kuxhatshazo, kunye neengxelo zamapolisa eziqaphela ezi ziganeko.
- Yiba nemizekelo ecacileyo kunye nobungqina balo naliphi na ixesha oziva ungakhuselekanga kwaye uzikhusela ngalo, abantwana bakho, ipropathi yakho kunye nezilwanyana zasekhaya (uhlala kwenye indawo, ebizwa ngokuba ngamapolisa, njl.
- Cela uvavanyo lweziyobisi enkundleni iqabane lakho lijonge ukuba akukho tywala kunye / okanye ezinye izinto ezikhoyo.
Yenza iNdlela yokuziKhathalela eseMpilweni
Ngexesha lenkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato, unokuziva ngathi uyaphambana. Uxinzelelo lunokuba lukhulu kakhulu kwaye unganqwenela ukuba khange uqalise inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato. Kubalulekile ukuba uzikhathalele kwaye umamele umzimba wakho ngeli xesha. Olunye ukhetho lokuzinakekela lubandakanya:
- Ukushicilela malunga nemeko kunokukunceda uqhelane nezinto ohlangabezana nazo.
- Thetha nabahlobo abathembekileyo kunye namalungu osapho.
- Joyina uAl-Anonkwaye uqhagamshele nabanye abanamalungu osapho abanengxaki yokusebenzisa utywala.
- Funda malunga nengxaki yokusetyenziswa kotywala.
- Cwangcisa ukuba leliphi na icandelo lakho elalingatsalwanga ngokungazi kwiqabane lakho ekuqaleni.
- Sebenza ekudaleni imida enempilo kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakho.
- Sebenza nonyango okanye umcebisi onokukuxhasa ngeli xesha.
Ukukhusela impilo yabantwana bakho
Ukuba unabantwana, qiniseka ukuba ubeka phambili ukuzinyamekela kwabo. Unokufuna ukubavumela ukuba bathethe nomcebisi ojolise ekusebenzeni nabantwana abanomzali onesifo sokusetyenziswa kotywala. Khumbula abantwana bafunda iipateni zobudlelwane abazibonayo, ngakumbi ubudlelwane bomzali nomntwana, kunye nolwalamano lomzali nomzali, kwaye bathambekele ekuziphindiseni ngokungafaniyo ezi patheni njengabantu abadala.
Mingaphi imitshato ephela kuqhawulo mtshato ngenxa yotywala?
Utywala ke sisizathu esichaziweyo sokuqhawula umtshato nokusela kunye nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kuluhlu njengesinye sezizathu ezintathu eziphambili zokuqhawula umtshato. Malunga neepesenti ezingama-48 ze imitshato iphela ngokwahlukana okanye ngoqhawulo mtshato ukuba elinye iqabane lifumene isifo sokusetyenziswa kotywala.
Utywala bukuchaphazela njani ukuqhawula umtshato?
Ukuphazamiseka kwotywala kunokuchaphazela inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato ngeendlela ezininzi. Ezinye zazo zibandakanya:
- Ukugcinwa komntwana (umvavanyi wokugcina umntwana unokuchongwa) kwaye kuthintelwe nezithintelo kutyelelo
- Ukuba isithintelo sibekwa endaweni ngenxa yokuxhatshazwa kwangaphambili kunye / okanye nomonakalo wepropathi
- Ijaji inokuyalela ukuvavanywa kotywala ngokungafunekiyo, ngakumbi ukuba abantwana bayabandakanyeka
- Ijaji inokuyalelaUnyango lokusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala, ngakumbi ukuba kukho abantwana ababandakanyekayo
- Inkundla yosapho inokufaka umyalelo wokhuselo ukuba iqabane lakho liguquguqukayo kwaye lisengozini yokukulimaza, abantwana, ukonakalisa ipropathi yakho, okanye ukukhupha imali yakho
Ngaba utywala kwiqabane lam sisizathu soqhawulo mtshato?
Ngelixa amanye amaqabane ekwazi ukuhlala emtshatweni nomntu onengxaki yokusebenzisa utywala, abanye abonwabanga ngokwenza njalo. Oku kunokuba zizizathu ezininzi kubandakanya ukhuseleko, ukungathembani, kunye nokonakala ngokubanzi kobudlelwane. Ngelixa ukusetyenziswa kotywala kunokuba yeyona nto iphambili kuqhawulo-mtshato, ayisiyiyo kuphela kwesizathu sokuba uye komnye. Zibuze:
- Ngeliphi ixesha endiye ndonwaba emtshatweni wam?
- Ngaba iqabane lam likulungele ukufuna unyango ngenxa yokusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala, kunye nokucebisa ngomtshato ukwakha ubuhlobo bethu?
- Ngaba ndikulungele ukusebenza ngokwakha ulwalamano lwethu?
- Ngaba ndibamisela umzekelo ofanelekileyo abantwana bam ngokubhekisele kubudlelwane obusempilweni?
Yintoni omawuyilindele emva koqhawulo-mlingane kwiqabane lokusetyenziswa kotywala
Abanye abantu abayicingi into yokuba buya kujongeka njani ubomi babo emva kokuba kuqhawulwe umtshato. Kungaba lula ukubanjwa okwangoku, ngakumbi xa unokuninzi kwipleyiti yakho oza kujongana nayo. Ukulungiselela ukuba ubomi bujongeka njani emva koqhawulo-mtshato yinto efanelekileyo yokuzibandakanya, ukuze ungabanjiswa xa uqhawulo-mtshato lugqityiwe.
Abantwana Bakho Banokubuza Imibuzo Enzima
Ukuba unomntwana okanye abantwana kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili, banokuqalisa ukukubuza imibuzo enzima malunga nawe kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili, ngakumbi ukuba bangaphambi kweminyaka yobudala. Qiniseka ukuba uthetha nabo ngokunyanisekileyo nakwinqanaba elifanelekileyo. Ukuba unzima ukuqonda indlela yokuthetha nomntwana wakho malunga nokusetyenziswa kotywala komnye umzali, unokufuna ukufumana uncedo lwengcali. Eminye imibuzo inokubandakanya:
- Kutheni umama esela kangaka? 'Unokuthi:' Into eyayiqala njengendlela yokujamelana neemeko ezinzima ngenene iye yajika yaba yinto umama angakwaziyo ukuyilawula. '
- 'Nahlukene ngenxa yokusela kukatata?' Unokuthi: 'Ewe, eso yayisesinye sezizathu zokuba sithathe isigqibo sokuba kungcono sahlukane.'
- 'Kutheni ungasamncedi umama?' Unokuthi: 'Ndinika umama ithuba lokuba abone ukuba yintoni ayifunayo kunye nendlela anokuzinceda ngayo' okanye 'Ndikuxhasa ngokupheleleyo ukubuyela kwakhe ebomini, kodwa eso sisigqibo anokusenza kuphela.'
- 'Kutheni utata engayokufuna uncedo?' Unokuthi: 'Ngokunyaniseka, andazi ukuba kutheni utata engekakulungeli ukufumana uncedo okwangoku. Xa sele ekulungele, siza kuba silapha ukuze simxhase. '
- 'Kutheni umama engenaziphumo, kodwa ndinazo?' Unokuthi: 'Ndiyazi ukuba ivakalelwa ngolo hlobo, kodwa iziphumo zikamama zezona singenako ukuzibona- umzekelo, uziva egula ngokwenyani ngaphandle kokusela, kodwa angaziva engalunganga ngaye ngelixa esela. Kungumsebenzi wam ukufundisa indlela yokwenza izigqibo zobomi obunempilo, kwaye oko kuthetha ukufunda kwiimpazamo. '
Xa unabantwana, kungcono ukugcina iimpendulo zifutshane kwaye zithembekile. Baza kukwazisa ukuba bafuna ulwazi oluthe kratya. Zama ukunqanda ukufaka izimvo zakho, ngakumbi kubandakanya iqabane lakho, kwaye ujolise nje ekuncedeni abantwana bakho baqhubekeke nale meko inzima. Qiniseka ukuba wazise abantwana bakho ukuba bayathandwa kwaye ulapha kubo ukuba bafuna ukuthetha. Khumbula, ungumzali kwaye akufuneki bakuthuthuzele okanye bakukhathalele.
Unokuziva Ukhululekile
Usenokuziva ukhululekile xa sele uqhawule umtshato. Umtshato, kunye nenkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato, inokuba ikhuthaze amanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo nokudinwa kuwe, kwaye ukusivala esi sahluko kungakunika inkululeko. Yazi ukuba le ndlela yokuziva ukhululekileyo ayinakuhlala ngokusisigxina, kwaye unokuzifumana uxinezelekile ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lakho langaphambili njengokuba wawunjalo xa wawutshatile.
Unokuziva Unetyala
Emva koqhawulo-mtshato, unokuziva ukhathazekile kwaye / okanye unetyala malunga nokhuseleko lweqabane lakho langaphambili. Usenokuba ekuqaleni wawucinga ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato luyakususa uxinzelelo, kwaye umangaliswe kukuzifumana ukhathazekile, okanye nangakumbi ngoku xa uqhawulo-mtshato ludlulile. Ukuba unomdla wokuxhomekeka kubambiswano, unokufumana ucinga malunga neqabane lakho langaphambili, kwaye uzama ukuqhubeka ubanceda bafune unyango.
Unokuzifumana utsaleleke kumaqabane amatsha afanayo
Ukuba uqala ukuthandana kwakhona, unokutsalelwa ngokungazi kumaqabane afanayo. Iipateni zobudlelwane zihlala zingazi nto kwaye zikhule kwasebuntwaneni, oko kuthetha ukuba kunzima kakhulu ukuzilawula, kwaye kunzima nokuzichonga ngalo mzuzu. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uthandana namaqabane afanayo, unokucinga ngokuthetha nonyango olunokukunceda uqonde ngcono iipateni zakho zonxibelelwano kunye nokuncamathisela, ukuze ube kulwalamano olusempilweni olunokubakho phambili. Iipateni zokunxibelelana eziqhelekileyo ezinxulunyaniswa nokusetyenziswa kotywala kubandakanya:
- Elinye iqabane liphethe iimpawu, ngelixa elinye lingumgcini
- Elinye iqabane li-scapegoat okanye umphathi weempawu, ngelixa elinye lingumhlanguli
- Elinye iqabane lingadlala indawo yomzali, ngelixa elinye lidlala indawo yomntwana
- Elinye iqabane linokuhlukumeza, ngelixa elinye lixhoba / libeke kwindawo ethile
Kuzo zonke iimeko, amandla amandla akafanelekanga kwintsebenziswano esempilweni, enothando, kunye nokulingana. Ukuba uqala ukuthandana nomntu omtsha, zama ukuthatha inyathelo ubuye umva kwaye ujonge iindima enizidlalayo nobabini kulwalamano. Ngaba bayalingana, okanye ngaba ukwindima efanayo naleyo wawunayo neqabane lakho langaphambili?
Unobangela wokusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala
Ukuphazamiseka ekusebenziseni utywala ngokunzulu uboshwe kukubandezeleka kwabantwana abaselula kunye nabantwana abanamava obuntwana abane okanye nangaphezulu anamava angama-7.2 amathuba okuba babe nengxaki yokusetyenziswa kotywala kunabalingane babo. Njengabantu abadala, abo banamava oxinzelelo kwaye banesifo se-AUD, banamaxesha angama-87.5 amathuba okuba baphinde babuye. Kukwakho nazo Imfuza enokuthi inyuse ithuba lomntu Ukuphuhliswa kokuphazamiseka ekusebenziseni utywala okunokudibanisa umngcipheko wokusingqongileyo. Abantu abathile abanakho ukusebenza ngokubandezeleka kwasekuqaleni ngenxa yokuba:
- Kubuhlungu kakhulu, kuyothusa kwaye kuyothusa ukuba ungene kuwo
- Izixhobo zokulwa ngaphakathi azomelelanga ngokwaneleyo
- Banokungahambi kakuhle, njengokuphazamiseka kubuntu, oko kuya kubenza nzima ngakumbi ukukhulisa ukuqonda kunye nokunxibelelana nomntwana wabo wangaphakathi owonzakeleyo.
- Bazahlule kwaye abakwazi ukunxibelelana neenkumbulo ezingathandekiyo ezingaziwayo
Ukuqonda ukuphazamiseka koTywala
Yicinge ngale ndlela-ingxaki yokusebenzisa utywalaisebenza njengohlobo lwento ekhuselayo kwabo banayo, ibathintela ekusebenzeni ngeentlungu ezinzulu, ukwaliwa, ukuxhatshazwa, kunye nokuncamathiselwa okungenampilo abanokuthi bakubone ebuntwaneni. Oku akuthethi ukuba abo bane-AUD bayayifuna okanye bayayithanda, kodwa iyadala ukungavisisani ekunzima ukohlula. Ngale ndlela, i-AUD iba yinto ekugxilwe kuyo, endaweni yengozi enokuthi inyamezeleke kwaye kwabanye, oku kunokungazi okanye ngokuziva ngathi kukuphela kwesivumelwano.
Yintoni imiGangatho yokuba ulikhoboka lotywala?
Ukuphazamiseka ekusebenziseni utywala kukuchongwa ngokusesikweni kwi Incwadana yokuqonda isifo kunye neenkcukacha-manani V ngobunzima bokubumnene, obuphakathi, kunye nobunzima ngokusekwe kwinani leempawu ezikhoyo. Umcebisi oqeqeshiweyo, ugqirha, ugqirha, okanye ugqirha wezifo zengqondo unokunika isifo esisesikweni sokusetyenziswa kotywala ukuba isigulana sikhonaezinye okanye zonke ezi mpawu zilandelayokunyaka ophelileyo:
- Ukusela ngaphezulu kunokuba ubucwangcisile
- Ndizamile ukunciphisa ukusela ngaphezulu kwesihlandlo esinye kodwa andikwazi
- Wachitha ixesha lakho elininzi esela okanye egula kukusela
- I-Hyper-egxile ekuseleni
- Ukusela kuphazamise ikhaya, umsebenzi, okanye ubomi besikolo
- Ukuqhubeka nokusela nangona wazi imiphumo emibi
- Sika umva okanye uyeke ukuthatha inxaxheba kwimisebenzi ebikade ikuzisela uvuyo ukuze usele
- Ukwanda kwendlela yokuziphatha eyingozi ngenxa yokusela
- Qhubeka nokusela ngaphandle kokukhathazeka okanye ukwanda kweempawu zoxinzelelo
- Ukunyamezelana nokusela
- OnamavaIimpawu zokurhoxakubandakanya ne-delirium tremens
Ikhonkco phakathi kotywala kunye noqhawulo mtshato
Ukuthatha isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato neqabane elinengxaki yokusebenzisa utywala kunokuziva kukhathaza ngokwasemphefumlweni, kunkwantya kwaye kunzima. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato kunye nenkqubo yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo yakho ingathatha ixesha elide kunokuba bekulindelwe kwaye kubalulekile ukuba unendlela yokuzikhathalela esempilweni, kunye nenkqubo eyomeleleyo yokuxhasa ngaphambi kokuba uqale le nkqubo.
