Ukufa kunye nokufa yinto engenakuphepheka kubo bonke abantu, kubandakanya nabantwana. Ukucacisa ngokusweleka komntwana kunokuba yinto engathandekiyo, kodwa ukunika ulwazi olunyanisekileyo noluyinyani kuya kumnceda umntwana ukuba abe sentlungwini ngendlela esempilweni. Funda ukuba uthini kubantwana abakubudala obahlukeneyo kunye nexesha lokufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha.
Iingcebiso ngokuthetha nabantwana ngokufa
Ukuthetha nabantwana ngokufa akukaze kube lula kwaye ayisiyonto abazali nabakhathaleli abakhetha ukuyizisa. Ukuchaza ukufa kubantwana kunokuba lula xa bengenazo iimvakalelo ezininzi ezichaphazelekayo. Umzekelo, ungathatha ithuba lokudala amathuba afundisekayo xa abantwana befumana izinambuzane ezifileyo okanye babone ukufa kumdlalo bhanyabhanya. Ukuxoxa ngokusweleka ngokubanzi kunokunceda ekulungiseleleni abo babanonophelayo kunye nabantwana ukuba baqonde ngcono kwaye bajongane nokusweleka kwabantu ngakumbi xa kusenzeka.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Imifanekiso eli-10 yabantu abasokolayo kwintlungu
- Iincwadi ngeNtlungu yoMntwana oswelekileyo
- Ukufa kosaziwayo
Ufanele Uthethe
Xa uchaza ukufa kubantwana bayo nayiphi na iminyaka, iHospicenet.org icebisa ukuba ugcine ezi ngongoma ziphambili engqondweni:
indlela yokufumana amabala amthubi kwiihempe ezimhlophe
- Nika ulwazi oluchanekileyo.
- Khululeka kwaye uvule iimvakalelo zakho ukwenza kubelula ukuba abantwana bakwazi ukuthetha.
- Sebenzisa iingcaciso ezifanelekileyo, eziqondakalayo, ezilula nezikhawulezayo.
- Soloko uqinisekisa abantwana ukuba kulungile ukuba neemvakalelo kwaye kulungile ukuthetha ngazo.
Into Ongamele Uyithethe
Inkqubo ye- IZiko loPhuhliso lwaBantwana inikeza olu luhlu lwamagama kunye namabinzana ukunqanda xa uchaza ukufa ebantwaneni.
- Kuphephe ukwenza unxibelelwano phakathi kokufa nokulala. Musa ukuthetha izinto ezinje, 'wasweleka ebuthongweni bakhe,' okanye 'ukufa kufana nokulala.'
- Kuphephe ukuthetha 'ngokuphumla okungunaphakade' okanye ukuthi umntu ongasekhoyo 'ukwindawo yabo yokuphumla yokugqibela.'
- Musa ukuxelela umntwana wakho ukuba lo mntu 'uhambe.'
- Kulumkele ukwabelana ukuba umntu ubhubhile kuba ebemdala okanye egula.
- Musa ukuxelela umntwana ukuba, 'uThixo umthathe wamsa ezulwini,' okanye lowo ungasekhoyo, 'nguThixo ngoku.'
Ngelixa amanye ala magama kunye namabinzana anokubonakala ngathi ayathuthuzela okanye akhuselekile, anokudideka kwaye oyike abantwana.
Uyokufuna nini iNgcali
Ukuthetha, nokujongana nokufa kungakhuthaza iimvakalelo ezininzi kwaye kube nzima ukulawula. UMarie Curie Umbutho onika inkxaso kwizigulana ezinesifo esinganyangekiyo kunye neentsapho zazo, ucebisa ukuba ufune uncedo lobungcali kumcebisi okanye kunyangi ukuba umntwana wakho ubonakalisile kwezi mpawu:
- Rhoqo kwaye ihlala ixesha elide imood
- Ukuziphatha okuzenzakalisayo
- Thetha ngokujoyina umntu ongasekhoyo
- Utshintsho kwindlela otya ngayo
- Naluphi na utshintsho olukhulu, oluhlala luhleli kwiimvakalelo okanye ekuziphatheni
Iingcaciso ngabantwana abancinci
Iintsana nabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka emi-3 abanakuqonda okuninzi malunga nokufa, ngokweZiko leSizwe leentsana, iintsana, kunye neeNtsapho Zero ukuya kwisiThathu . Ngeli nqanaba lobomi, abantwana banokulubona utshintsho kwimeko-bume yabo kubandakanya iimvakalelo zesiqhelo kunye nezomkhathaleli. Ukuba umntwana okule minyaka ubuza ngothandekayo ongasekhoyo, impendulo elula enjengokuthi 'Umakhulu akasekho apha, sonke simkhumbula kakhulu,' kufanelekile.
Inkqubo ye- IZiko leNgqondo yaBantwana icebisa ukugcina ubomi njengesiqhelo kubantwana abancinci kakhulu ukubanceda bakwazi ukumelana nokufa. Ukuba unengxaki yokulawula intlungu yakho ngeli xesha, cela uncedo kusapho kunye nakubahlobo ukuze uqhubeke nomsebenzi wakho omncinci.
Iinkcazo zabafundi abasafunda esikolweni
Abantwana abaneminyaka emithathu ukuya kwemihlanu bathambekele ekubeni nembono ebonakalayo yelizwe. AbantwanaHealth.org icebisa ukusebenzisa amagama asisiseko, aphathekayo xa unika inkcazo malunga nokufa kweli qela leminyaka. Ukuthetha izinto ezinje, 'Umzimba ka-anti Jane uyekile ukusebenza kwaye ugqirha akakwazanga ukuwulungisa,' kufanelekile. IZiko loPhuhliso lwaBantwana liyangqinelana nezi ngcebiso kwaye longeze ukuba ukusebenzisa iinkcazo kubandakanya ukungabikho kwemisebenzi eqhelekileyo yomzimba kunokuba luncedo. Umzekelo unokuthi 'umzimba kaTata awusasebenzi ngoku akakwazi ukuthetha, ukutya, ukushukuma, okanye ukuya embizeni.'
Iingcali OkweMpilo.org Lumkisa ukuba inkcazo yenkolo ayisebenzi kakuhle kweli qela lobudala kuba ulwazi aluyongcinga eqinisekileyo yabantwana abancinci ukuba babambe ngokulula. Abantwana abasaqala isikolo abayiqondi into yokuba ukufa kusisigxina, kuya kuba yinto yokugqibela, kwaye kwenzeka kubo bonke abaphilayo. Kubalulekile ukuba ugcine engqondweni ukuba ingqondo yomntwana iya kulwenza njani ulwazi kule minyaka ukuze ungadideki okanye ubongamele.
Iimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo
Intlungu ngamava ahluka-hlukeneyo kwaye abantwana banokujamelana nokufumana amava ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Abantwana abancinci kakhulu banokuba nomsindo, ukudideka, unxunguphalo, usizi, okanye ukungakhathali. Zonke ezi ziimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo kubantwana beli xesha bajongene nentlungu. Inkampani kaFred Rogers icebisa ngeendlela ezimbalwa abanonopheli abanokunceda abantwana abancinci ukuba bajongane nezi mvakalelo:
amabali ebhayibhile anezifundo zokuziphatha zabantwana
- Ukuwola rhoqo
- Ukuthetha ngomfi
- Ukuchitha ixesha elizolileyo kunye
- Ukubandakanya abantwana kwintetho yosapho yosizi
- Zoba umfanekiso malunga neemvakalelo
Imibuzo eqhelekileyo kunye neempendulo zesampulu
Kule minyaka, abantwana banokubuza imibuzo ebonakala ngathi ayifanelekanga okanye kunzima ukuyiphendula. I-Hospicenet.org iphakamisa ukuba kulungile ukuba abantu abadala bathi abayazi impendulo ngokuchasene nokwenza into kwangoko. IZiko lokuPhilisa izabelo ukuba kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana beli xesha baphindaphindwe ngemibuzo abayicelayo. Le yinxalenye yendlela abantwana abancinci abafunda ngayo, ke zama ukuba nomonde kwaye uphendule imibuzo ngalo lonke ixesha ngempendulo efanayo.
Imibuzo embalwa onokuyiva kweli qela leminyaka yile:
- Ngaba umntu ofileyo angatya, ahambe ngebhodwe, athethe, njl.
- Impendulo yesampulu: Hayi. Xa umntu esifa onke amalungu omzimba ayayeka ukusebenza.
- Ngaba umfi uya kuba sekhaya kwisidlo sangokuhlwa?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Uxolo, kodwa akazokuza apha apha kwisidlo sangokuhlwa okanye ngenye imini.
- Bayaphi abantu abafileyo?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Akukho mntu waziyo, kodwa ndiyakholelwa (faka iinkolelo zakho apha).
- Ngaba uza kufa?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Ndiyathemba ukuba ndiza kuphila ixesha elide, elide. Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, umntu uya kuhlala elapha ukukukhathalela.
Izixhobo ezongezelelweyo
UZero ukuya kwesithathu ucebisa ezi ncwadi kubantwana abasafunda kunye nakwisikolo sabasaqala ukufunda ngokufa:
- Xa Isilwanyana Esifayo nguFred Rogers
- Xa iDinosaurs isifa nguLaurie Krasny kunye noMarc Brown
Iinkcazo zaBantwana abaDala besikolo
Inqanaba lokuqonda
IiHospicenet.org zabelana ngokuba abantwana abaneminyaka emithandathu ukuya kwelishumi ababoni kufa njengento enokwenzeka ebomini babo, kodwa bayaqonda ukuba kugqityiwe. Kuqhelekile nakubantwana kweli qela ukwazisa ukufa ngokucinga njengamathambo okanye ingelosi eza kususa abantu. Abantwana banokukholelwa ukuba indlela abaziphethe ngayo inokubangela ukuba umntu asweleke okanye abuyele ebomini. Ngokwe-A Kidshealth.org, abantwana abakwiminyaka yesikolo bafuna ingcaciso ethembekileyo, elula nechanekileyo.
Enye indlela yokuqalisa iincoko malunga nokufa neli qela leminyaka kukubuza ukuba umntwana sele esazi ntoni kwaye ucinga ntoni ngokufa, ngokweHospicenet.org. Oku kunokunika abanonopheli indawo yokuqala kunye nethuba lokulungisa nayiphi na ingcaciso engachanekanga.
ungayibuyisa imoto emva kokuyithenga?
Iimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo
Inkqubo ye- Amaziko kaZwelonke wezeMpilo wabelana ngezixhobo ezithi abantwana abakubudala bokuhamba isikolo banokuhamba kuluhlu olubanzi lweemvakalelo xa becinga okanye bejongana nokufa okunje:
- Umsindo
- Ukuziva unetyala
- Ixhala
- Ukukhanyela
- Uxinzelelo
- Ukoyika Ukufa
- Imiba yomzimba enjengeentlungu zesisu
Ukucebisa abantwana ngentlungu kunokwenzeka ngeendlela ngeendlela. Enye indlela yokunceda kukuthetha nomntwana amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuze ambuze imibuzo evulekileyo malunga nendlela abayisingatha ngayo le meko. Yigcine ilula; Ndiyayazi ukuba kufuneka ulikhumbule [igama lomntu oswelekileyo] kwaye nam ndiyayifuna. Unjani?' Emva koko linda impendulo. Ukuba umntwana uthi uqhuba kakuhle, mxelele ukuba banexesha apho bengaziva belungile, uyafumaneka xa ufuna ukuthetha.
IZiko leNtlungu lasekuHlaleni lokuHlala kwabahlali kunye no-UC Davis babonelela ngezi ndlela zokunceda abantwana bajongane neemvakalelo zabo:
- Banike ithuba lokuba bathethe nomntu ofileyo ngeleta ekwibhokisi yomngcwabo okanye kwibhaluni.
- Khuthaza iindawo zokuyila ezifana nokubhala amabali kunye nokuzoba imifanekiso.
- Khumbuza ngomfi.
- Hlangana kunye nabanye abantu abavakalelwa ngendlela efanayo nosapho okanye abahlobo.
- Khuthaza umsebenzi womzimba ukunceda ukugcina iimvakalelo zingangeni ngaphakathi.
Imibuzo eqhelekileyo kunye neempendulo zesampulu
Kule minyaka, abantwana banokuba nomdla kwinto yokufa okuziva ngathi ngaphakathi nangaphandle. Imibuzo embalwa eqhelekileyo yile:
- Ngaba ukufa kufana nokulala?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Hayi, xa silele umzimba wethu usasebenza kuba sisaphefumla kwaye siyahamba. Xa umntu eswelekile umzimba wakhe awusebenzi kwaphela.
- Kwakutheni ukuze afe?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Zininzi izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba abantu bafe. Uninzi lwabantu luyasweleka xa umzimba wabo usaluphala kwaye unengxaki yokusebenza.
- Ngaba ndiza kufa?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Zonke izinto eziphilayo ziya kufa ngenye imini. Mna nawe siceba ukuhlala ixesha elide nangona.
- Ngaba kubuhlungu ukufa?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Ngokuqhelekileyo. Xa umzimba ufile awunakuva nto kwaphela.
- Kwenzeka ntoni kwizidumbu?
- Impendulo yesampulu: Emva kokuba umzimba usweleke kufuneka ukhathalelwe kuba uyakutshintsha kwindlela ojongeka ngayo. Abanye abantu bakhetha ukungcwaba izidumbu emangcwabeni apho baya kukhumbula loo mntu.
Izixhobo ezongezelelweyo
Eli qela leminyaka lifikelela ngokulula kwiinkonzo zokucebisa kuba uninzi lwezikolo zinabacebisi besikolo, unontlalontle okanye ugqirha wezengqondo. Uninzi lwezi nkonzo luqhuba amaqela akhethekileyo abantwana abajongana nemicimbi eqhelekileyo enje ngoqhawulo-mtshato kunye nentlungu. Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uya kuxhamla kolunye uncedo olongezelelekileyo, nxibelelana nesikolo somntwana wakho ukuze ufumane ukuba zeziphi na izinto onokuzifumana simahla.
Kule minyaka, abantwana abahlali ngokuchitha ixesha elininzi bodwa kwi-Intanethi kodwa kukho iiwebhusayithi ezinje AbantwanaGrieve.org kwaye Kidsaid.org enikezela ngolwazi kunye nemisebenzi kubo. Zininzi iincwadi ezikhoyo ukunceda abazali bathethe ngokufa nabantwana. UC Davis ucebisa ngokuPhila kwiNkqubo yokuFa: Isikhokelo sabanonopheli nguJody Gyulay. Iincwadi zabantwana ziyafumaneka:
- Xa Umntu Esikhethekileyo (incwadi esebenzayo) nguMarge Heegaard
- Indawo elandelayo nguWarren Hanson
- Incwadi ebuhlungu kaMichael Rosen ngu-Michael Rosen
- Wenza Ntoni Emhlabeni Xa Umntu Esifa NguTrevor Romain
Iinkcazo zaBafikisayo
Inqanaba lokuqonda
Ngeli xesha, ulutsha luyakuqonda ukufa ngendlela efanayo yabantu abadala. Bayayiqonda into yokuba ukufa kukugqibela, akusokuze kuphele, kwaye kunezizathu ezininzi. Oku kunokwenza kube lula ukuchaza ukusweleka kuba abantu abancinci banokuyiqonda ngokulula le nto inzima. Nangona abakwishumi elivisayo bekwazi ukukuqonda ngokulula oko kuthetha ukufa, i-Healthychildren.org icebisa ukuba ulutsha lusenokungavumi ukubonisa intlungu kunabantwana abancinci. Ngelixa abakwishumi elivisayo bekuqonda ukuba kukuthini ukufa, ngoku balwa nokufa ngendlela yefilosofi ngakumbi.
Eli ingalithuba elifanelekileyo lokubandakanya iinkolelo zakho zonqulo kwiingxoxo kunye nomntwana wakho. Ekufundeni oko abanye bakukholelwayo malunga nokufa kunye nenjongo yobomi, abakwishumi elivisayo banokwenza izimvo kunye neempendulo ezanelisayo.
Iimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo
Ulutsha olulusizi luya kuziva iimvakalelo ezifanayo njengabantwana abancinci: usizi, umsindo, ukuziva unetyala, kunye nokungabikho koncedo. Ngexesha lenkqubo yokulila, kuqhelekile ukuba ulutsha lubonakalise ityala lokuphila xa isalamane sisifa kunye nomsindo wokungalawuleki ubomi nokufa.
indlela yokwenza itab ephezulu yomkhusane
I-Hairychychrenren.org icebisa ezi ndlela zilandelayo zokukhuthaza ukukhathazeka okunempilo:
- Vula ukuthetha okanye ukucebisa ukuthetha nabanye.
- Khuthaza iindawo zokuyila ezinje ngokubhala kunye nobugcisa.
- Mamela umculo ukuze uphumle.
- Sebenzisa imisebenzi yomzimba ukunciphisa uxinzelelo.
- Bafundise ukucela uncedo.
Izixhobo ezongezelelweyo
Inkqubo ye- Inethiwekhi yeSizwe yoXinzelelo loMntwana ibonelela ngephepha lezixhobo kulutsha elinokuxhasa incoko yakho. Ukongeza, izinto ezimbalwa ezifanelekileyo ezifundwayo zezi:
- Thetha ngokuthe ngqo ngokufa kwabakwishumi elivisayo NguEarl Grollman
- Umntwana osentlungwini nguHelen Fitzgerald
- Abantu abaHlanu oDibana nabo ezulwini NguMitch Albom
Ukufa njengenxalenye yoBomi
Ukuthetha ngokufa kunokuba nzima, kodwa ubatyala abantwana bakho ukuba banyaniseke ngale ndawo yendalo yobomi. Ulwazi oluyinyani kunye nesimo esivulekileyo sinokunceda abantwana ukuba bajongane nosizi ngeendlela eziphilileyo nezifanelekileyo.
