Uqhawulo-mtshato yinkqubo entsonkothileyo enokubangela ukudideka kunye neemvakalelo ezibuhlungu. Zininzi izinto ezinokuba negalelo kulusizi oluzayo emva koqhawulo-mtshato, kubandakanya nokuba ubotshwe kangakanani na kwi-ex-iqabane lakho kwaye nokuba uzivumele ukuba ube sentlungwini ngokupheleleyo.
Ukukhathaza Ubomi Bakho Obudala
Ukufumana amanye okanye onke amanqanaba osizi emva koqhawulo-mtshato yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba usabele kula mava abuhlungu. Ukuphela kobudlelwane kunokuzisa iimvakalelo zokulahleka, isizungu, kunye nentliziyo ebuhlungu, nokuba ubunakho ngokupheleleyo kuqhawulo-mtshato. Xa inyani ifika kwaye lixesha lokuba uphinde uqhubeke nobomi ngaphandle kweqabane lakho langaphambili, inxenye yakho unokuziva ulusizi kwaye uphulukane nezinto ozenzileyo kunye, kunye nembono yokuba neqabane ebomini.Intlungu inokubonakala ngathi:
- Ukukhanyela: 'Andiqhawuli mtshato.'
- Umsindo: 'Ndiphelelwe ngumsindo yile nto yenzekayo kum.'
- Ukuxoxisana: 'Ukuba ndenze _______, ndibhejile besiza kuba kunye.'
- Uxinzelelo: 'Ndibuhlungu kwaye ndililolo kwaye ndiziva ngathi ngekhe ndiphinde nditshate.'
- Ukwamkela: 'Ndiyamkele into yokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lwenzekile, ukuba umtshato awuzange uphumelele, kwaye ndikulungele ukuqhubela phambili.'
- Iindlela zokudibanisa emva koqhawulo mtshato
- Uyixelela njani indoda yakho ukuba ufuna uqhawulo mtshato
- I-37 yoQeqesho oluQinisekisayo loQhawulo-mtshato
Ukuba kunzima ukufika kwindawo eyamkelweyo ngoqhawulo-mtshato lwakho, usenokuphatha iimvakalelo ezingasonjululwanga kwiqabane lakho langaphambili. Nokuba awubathandi, usenokuba nefuthe elinamandla kwizinto ezibangela iinkumbulo zalowo wayeliqabane lakho. NgelixaUkulungisa ukulahleka kobudlelwane kungathatha iminyaka, ukuba unexesha elinzima nezenzo zobomi bemihla ngemihla kunye / okanye uneengcinga zokuzenzakalisa wena okanye abanye, kubalulekile ukuba ufikelele kwinkxaso kwangoko. Eli lixesha elibalulekileyo lokubeka phambili impilo-ntle yakho. Ufanele ukuphilisa kwaye uqhubele phambili ukuze ubonwabele ubomi bakho.
Amaxesha Aphosileyo Agqithileyo
Kunzima ukungakhunjuzwa ngomlingane wakho wangaphambili njengoko ubuyela kwindlela yakho yakudala yokuqhawula umtshato. Oku kunokuba yinkohliso ngokukodwa kwabo bebekunye iminyaka kunye neminyaka, kwaye abo bebegxile ebomini babo. Iindawo ezithile, amavumba amnandi, ukutya, kunye nabantu kunokubangela iinkumbulo ezimnandi enibe nabelana ngazo. Ezi nkumbulo zinokukukhumbuza ngesizathu sokutshata kwakho kunye nezinto ozithandayo ngeqabane lakho. Oku kunokuzisa iimvakalelo ezinzulu zokulahleka kunye nosizi.
Ubungqina bakho buCwangcisa kwakhona
Yintoni ebambe elona xabiso libalaseleyo kuwe kunye / okanye abo unxibelelana nabo rhoqo bathabathe ezona ndawo zithengiswa kakhulu kwingqondo yakho. Eyona nto inokwenzeka, iinkumbulo, iingcinga, kunye neemvakalelo ezinxulunyaniswe neqabane lakho langaphambili ziya kuza ngokulula, nasemva kokuba uqhawulo-mtshato lugqityiwe. Ukophula inkqubo yesiqhelo kuthatha malunga nenyanga, kwaye ukuba ibandakanya abantu kungathatha ixesha elide. Yiba nomonde kuwe kwaye uyazi ukuba ingqondo yakho iya kulungelelanisa nendlela yakho entsha ngexesha. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba kunzima ukulungelelanisa, unokuba nemicimbi engasonjululwanga neqabane lakho langaphambili eliphazamisana nokusebenza kwakho.
Isazisi esidityaniswe nentsebenziswano
Njengoko ubudlelwane bukhula, amaqabane akha ubomi kunye, abambisa abahlobo babo, iindawo abazithandayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha basebenza. Iindawo zokutyela ezithile, amabala owathandayo, ukuhamba okhethekileyo, kunye neziganeko ezinabahlobo bobabini kunokuba yimicimbi yesiqhelo sakho, ukuqhubekeka ukudibanisa wena neqabane lakho. Usenokuzibona njengo 'thina' ixesha elide kangangokuba ukufumanisa kunzima ukunxibelelana nomba wakho kunye nokuba ujongeka kanjani ngaphandle kweqabane. Ungaziva ulahlekile ngaphandle kweqabane lakho okanye uqaphele ukuba uyithandile intuthuzelo yokuba nesiqhelo nomntu, nokuba anivani. Ukuchaza kwakhona isazisi sakho kunokujongeka njengoku:
- Ukwenza eyakho indlela yesiqhelo ezaliswe yimisebenzi ekufaneleyo kunye neshedyuli yakho
- Ukufumanisa into oyithandayo kunye nomdla kuyo
- Ukutshintsha amagiya ngobuhlobo bakho kunye nokuthatha inxaxheba njengomntu ngamnye, hayi isibini
- Ukwenza iinkumbulo zakho ezingadibananga nomnye umntu
Ngaba Ndizicingela Ndedwa Kuba Ndifuna Ukuqhawula Umtshato?
Ndiziva kukuzingca emva koqhawulo-mtshato akuqhelekanga, ngakumbi ukuba kukho abantwana ababandakanyekayo. Ukuzingca kuxa umntu egxile kugqithisileyo kulonwabo lwabo kwaye engazihoyi iimvakalelo zabanye ukuze bafumane into abayifunayo. Kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi kokuthatha isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato kuba sesona sigqibo sisempilweni kuwe xa uthelekiswa nokunyathela kwabo bakukhathaleleyo ukuze ufumane le nto uyifunayo. Ngokubhekisele kwimpilo yengqondo yabantwana, eyona nto intle onokuyenza kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili kukubonisa ukuba impilo entle, yabantu abadala ibukeka kanjani, kwaye oku kungenziwa kwaphela emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Ndiyeka Njani Ukuziva Ndinetyala Ngokuqhawula Umtshato?
Ukuziva unetyala yimvakalelo entsonkothileyo evela kwindawo yokuziva ngathi wenze into engalunganga okanye embi. Ukuziva unetyala kuhlala kubangela ukuba abantu baxolelanise okanye babuyise oko bakwenzileyo ukulawula imeko. Xa kuziwa kuqhawulo-mtshato, ukukhulula iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala kunokuba ngathi akunakwenzeka. Ukuqonda ngcono ukuba kutheni uziva unetyala kunokukunceda ukuba uqhubekeke ngale meko ngokuzeleyo ukuze ukwazi ukubuyela empilweni.
Qaphela iNice ayisosizathu sokuhlala
Nokuba umntu wakho wakudala ebephelele ephepheni, ukuba kukho into engaziva ilungile kuwe, okanye ukuba uthando beluphelile, okanye ukuba awonwabanga, okanye nasiphi na esinye isizathu ucinga ukuba olu lwalamano alunakuba lolona khetho lulungileyo kuwe, kulungile ukuba uzinike imvume yokukhupha iimvakalelo zakho zetyala. Intle ayisosizathu sokuhlala emtshatweni ongaziva ulungile kuwe.
Xhasa uMlingane wakho wangaphambili kunye naBantwana
Abantwana banokwenza uqhawulo-mtshato luzive lubuhlungu nangakumbikwaye inzima. Cinga ngale ndlela, kubalulekile ukuba abantwana bakho bababone bobabini abazali bonwabile, kunye nobudlelwane obusempilweni, kwaye mhlawumbi ibingeyiyo imeko yeqabane lakho langaphambili. Eyona nto ingcono eninokuyenza nina nobabini ngoku kukuxhasanaukuba ngumzali ngokusempilwenikwaye ufundise abantwana bakho kunye ngokubaluleka kokuhlala unxibelelana kwaye unothando kule nguqulo intsha yosapho lwakho.
Thembela kwisigqibo sakho
Ukuba iqabane lakho langaphambili alifunanga kuqhawulo mtshato, kodwa uyenzile, iimvakalelo zetyala zinokuvela ngokuqinisekileyo. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ukubeka iimfuno zakho kuqala akukwenzi ube ngumntu ombi, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo oko akuthethi ukuba uqhawulo mtshato yayisisigqibo esingalunganga. Ubomi bufutshane kwaye ukuba iqabane lakho alizalisekisanga iimfuno zakho kunye / okanye uziva ngathi awungakulungelanga, kulungile ukuba uzivumele ukhululeke kukhetho lwakho.
Yenza amathandabuzo akho
Ukuba ubungekho iipesenti ezili-100 uqinisekile ukuba ufuna uqhawulo-mtshato, kodwa sele ugqithile kuyo, kubalulekile ukuzama ukuthatha inyathelo ubuye umva kwaye ujonge imeko. Zibuze ukuba yintoni eyakhokelela ekubeni uqhubele phambili noqhawulo mtshato ekuqaleni? Yazi ukuba namathandabuzo kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye xa ukhatshwa lusizi loqhawulo-mtshato kunokonyusa lamathandabuzo nangakumbi. Ukucaca kuya kuvela njengoko iimvakalelo zakho ziqhubekeka.
Qonda ukuntsonkotha koKudlula kumaQabane
Ukuba i-ex yakho yasweleka emva koqhawulo-mtshato, unokuhlaselwa kabuhlungu ngokweemvakalelo. Unokunqwenela ukuba awuzange udlule kuqhawulo mtshato, okanye uzive ngathi yimpazamo yakho ukuba basweleke. Yazi ukuba ukuziva uluvo lweemvakalelo kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye kungathatha ixesha ukwenza olu hlobo lwelahleko enzima. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba abanye, nkqu nabona baneenjongo ezintle,usenokungaqondi ukuba kutheni ungalusizi ngolu hlobo lwelahleko, ke qiniseka ukuba ufumana abanye abaxhasayo abanokukunceda uhambe kula mava anzima.
Ukukhupha ityala
Jongisisa ukuba kutheni uziva unetyala kwaye ujonge ukuba zithini na iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho malunga netyala lakho. Cela umngeni kwiinkolelo ezingalunganga eziza kuwe kwaye uzame ukuza nezisempilweni ezingahlawulwa kangako ngokwasemoyeni. Thatha ixesha lokuqhubekeka netyala lakho ngokushicilela, uthethe nabahlobo abasondeleyo nosapho, uthethe nomcebisi, okanye ujoyineiqela lenkxaso. Ukuziva unetyala okungakhange kuhlolwe kunokuphuma kulawulo, ke qiniseka ukuba ungene ngaphakathi kwakho kwaye ufumane uncedo ukuba ufunainkxaso eyongezelelweyo. Imizekelo yokucel'umngeni kwiinkolelo zakho ezimbi inokubonakala ngathi:
- 'Ukuba khange siqhawule umtshato, umntu wam wangaphambili ngesele esaphila' xa kuthelekiswa 'bendingenakho ukulawula ukudlula kwam ex kwaye uqhawulo-mtshato yayikukukhetha phakathi kwabo kwakulungile ngelo xesha.'
- 'Ndimoshile ubomi babantwana bam ngoqhawulo mtshato' ngokuchasene 'ndenze esona sigqibo silungileyo kusapho lwam ngokubeka impilo yomntu wonke kwindawo yokuqala kwaye abantwana bam bafuna umzekelo wabantu abadala abasempilweni kwaye olu qhawulo mtshato luya kuvumela oko ukuba kwenzeke.'
- 'Ndilihlazo kwaye ndizihlazile' xa ndithelekisa 'ndibeka iimfuno zam kuqala kwaye ndiyazingca ngamanyathelo enkalipho endiwathathileyo.'
- 'Ukuba bendiliqabane elingcono, besiya kuhlala sikunye' xa kuthelekiswa 'ndizame konke okusemandleni ngelo xesha kwaye ndiyaqhubeka nokufunda ndikhula njengomntu.'
- 'Khange ndiyithande ne ex yam kwaye ndiziva ndisisidenge ngenxa yokucaphuka' ngokuchasene 'ndigcina iinkumbulo kufutshane nentliziyo yam kwaye ndizakuzivumela ukuba ndisebenzise kwaye ndikhathazeke ngokukhululekileyo ukuze ndiye phambili.'
Kutheni uqhawulo-mtshato lwam lusenzakalisa?
Yazi ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato luzise iimvakalelo zentlungu kunye nokwenzakala nasemva kweminyaka. Khumbula ukuba kuthatha ixesha ukuziqhelanisa nendlela entsha yobomi, kunye nembono yakho entsha ngaphandle kweqabane lakho, ke yiba nobubele kwaye ube nomonde nesiqu sakho njengoko uqhuba la mava.
