Ukwazi ukuba uza kuthini kumhlobo oza kuqhawula umtshato unokuziva unenkohliso kwaye kukho izinto ekufuneka uziphephe ukuzithetha. Ukukhumbula ukukhetha kwakho kunye nokugxila kwincoko kwiimfuno zenkxaso yomhlobo wakho kubenza bazi ukuba ukhona ngenxa yabo njengoko besenza la mava abuhlungu.
Indlela Yokuthetha Nomntu Ofumana Uqhawulo-mtshato
Inkqubo nganye yoqhawulo mtshato yahlukile. Kweminye, kunokuba noxolo, ngelixa abanye benamava athambileyo kunye neqabane labo langaphambili. Nokuba umhlobo wakho uwela phi kubuninzi beengxaki zoqhawulo mtshato, yazi loo ntoumntu ngamnye uzokuqhubekeka kwaye abe buhlungu ngendlela yakhekwaye ngexesha labo. Qiniseka ukuba ungazinyanzeli iingcinga zakho kwinto okholelwa ukuba ilungile kubo, kuba oku kungazivala kwaye kuphazamisane namandla abo okuqhubekeka.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Ukukhuthaza amaQabane oQhawulo-mtshato ngo-33
- Iindlela zokudibanisa emva koqhawulo mtshato
- I-37 yoQeqesho oluQinisekisayo loQhawulo-mtshato
Ndingenza Ntoni Ukunceda?
Ukuba ufuna ukunceda ngemini yomhlobo wakho imihla ngemihla, zininzi iindlela zokubazisa ukuba ukhona ngenxa yabo njengoko behamba kwinkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato. Endaweni yokubuza ukuba ungenza ntoni ukunceda, zama ukungqala ngakumbi kususe umthwalo kumhlobo wakho. Unokuthi:
yintoni ilekese ethandwa kakhulu ehlabathini
- 'Ndingathanda ukuzisa isidlo sangokuhlwa ngobu busuku,' kulandelwe, 'Ungathanda ndikuphathele ntoni?'
- 'Ndiya evenkileni namhlanje kwaye ndingathanda ukuthatha ukutya kwakho ukuba kulungile.' Emva koko cacisa, 'Ndithumele umyalezo ngento oyifunayo kwaye ndiza kuyishiya nanini na ufuna.'
- 'Ndingathanda ukuma ndize ndikuncede ngayo nayiphi na imisebenzi yasekhaya okanye yokuhlamba iimpahla ukuba uyafuna,' kwaye wongeze, 'Ufanelwe likhefu kwaye ndonwabile ukukunceda.'
Baphulaphule
Abanye abantu, ngakumbi phakathi kwentlungu, bahlala bethetha ngokujikeleza, bebuyela kwinkqubo yabo yeemvakalelo kunye / okanye into evakalelwa kukuba iyabhidisa. Lo ngumcimbi oqheleke ngokupheleleyo wokuqhubekeka kwaye nangona kunokubonakala ngathi uphindaphindo kuwe, ukutsiba ukuzama ukusombulula ingxaki ngekhe kusebenze kweli nqanaba kwinkqubo yokulila, kwaye ayinakuba yinto umhlobo wakho abuza yona kuwe. Nceda umhlobo wakho aqonde ukuba uyabeva xa usithi:
- 'Kuvakala ngathi uziva ubuhlungu ngo (faka imeko ethile).'
- 'Oko kuvakala kunzima ngokwenene.'
- 'Ndiyayiva lento uyithethayo.'
- 'Ngaba uyafuna ukuthetha ngakumbi malunga naloo nto?'
- 'Ndilapha ngenxa yakho.'
- 'Ndiyasiqonda isizathu sokuba uvakalelwe ngaloo ndlela.'
Qinisekisa inkqubo yabo
Qinisekisa amava eemvakalelo zomhlobo wakho ukuze bangaziva nje ukuba beviwe kodwa baqonde kwaye baxhaswe. Ukwenza njalo, unokuthi:
- 'Kuvakala ngathi (faka amava) akwenze waziva (faka imvakalelo).'
- Ukuhamba (faka amava) izandi zinzima ngokwenene. '
- 'Ndiva ukumamela ukuba ufuna ukundixelela ngakumbi nge (faka amava).'
- 'Inokuba yayiziva inoxinzelelo nyani.'
- Ndiyabulela ngokwabelana nam- ukuba ubukhaliphile ngokwenene ukuba utsho.
Yenza izicwangciso kunye nabo
Yenza izicwangciso zekhonkrithi nomhlobo wakho eniza kuthi nobabini nijonge phambili kuzo. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ngokuxhomekeka ukuba bakuphi kwinkqubo yeemvakalelo banokufuna ukulala phantsi endaweni yokuphuma, kwaye uzame ukungakuthathi buqu ukuba bayala. Banokuziva bedinwe kakhulu ukuba bangachitha ixesha nomnye umntu ngalo mzuzu. Unokuthi:
- 'Ndingathanda ukukusa ngaphandle uyokutya okanye ikofu ukuba uyafuna,' emva koko unikezele, 'Ndonwabile ukusikhethela into xa kulula.'
- 'Ungathanda ukubona imovie ngokuhlwanje?'
- 'Ngaba uyokuya kunyuka ngelinye ixesha kule veki?'
Ukuba umhlobo wakho uyala, babuze ukuba kulungile ukuba uphinde ungene nabo phakathi evekini. Abanye abantu bathanda ukuqhubekeka bebodwa okwexeshana, ngelixa abanye bexabisa xa abahlobo babo befikelela. Kuhlala kungcono ukuba umhlobo wakho akhokele xa kufikwa kwizicwangciso.
Uncedo ngotshintsho
Ukuhamba utshatile ungatshatangaUnokuziva uxakekile kwabanye abantu. Ingaziva ngakumbi nangakumbi ukuba izilwanyana zasekhaya kunye / okanyeabantwana bakumxube. Olu tshintsho lukhulu lunokwenza ubomi bomhlobo wakho bube noxinzelelo ngakumbi njengoko befumanisa ukuba yindawo yokuhlala entsha, baqhubeke ngenkqubo yokuphinda benze izinto ngokutsha, beze nesilwanyana esitsha kunye / okanye iishedyuli zabantwana, kwaye baqale ukulungelelanisa nendlela yabo entsha. Ukunceda umhlobo wakho ngolu tshintsho, unokuthi:
yintoni ilekese ethandwa kakhulu ehlabathini
- Ndiyazi ukuba ukwinkqubo yokufuduka, kwaye ndingathanda ukukunceda upakishe kwaye uzilungiselele ukuba kulungile kuwe.
- 'Ngaba ikhona into ekufuneka ndiyithathele yona abantwana bakho amagumbi amatsha?'
- 'Ngaba ungathanda ndibukele izilwanyana zasekhaya namhlanje?' Yongeza into enje, 'Ndiyazi ukuba kuninzi okwenzekayo namhlanje kwaye ndingathanda ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabo.'
- 'Ungathanda ukuba ndiyolanda abantwana bakho esikolweni namhlanje?' Unokuthi, 'Ndiyazi ukuba uxakeke kakhulu kukuhamba kwaye ndonwabile ukuncedisa.'
- 'Ndazise ukuba ungathanda naluphi na uncedo lokuhombisa le ndawo intsha okanye ukuba ufuna ndize ndikuncede ndikhuphe nantoni na.'
- 'Ungathanda ukuba ndicoce indawo yakho entsha phambi kokuba uqalise ukukhupha impahla yakho?' Bazise ukuba uzimisele ukunceda ngokudibanisa, 'Uyayazi indlela endikuthanda ngayo ukucoca kwaye ndonwabile ukuyenza.'
- Ndiyazi ukuba uqhele ukuchitha (faka usuku okanye ixesha) kunye (faka igama lomlingane wakho), ungathanda ukudibana (faka umsebenzi) kule veki endaweni yoko? '
Yintoni omele ukuyiphepha ekuthetheni nomntu ofumana uqhawulo-mtshato
Nokuba uneenjongo ezintle, ngamanye amaxesha kuphuma amagama angalunganga. Ukuba unako, zama ukuphepha ukuthetha nantoni na eza njengokugweba okanye ukulawula. Eli lixesha lomhlobo wakho lokuqhubekeka, kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba ijongeke ngokwahlukileyo kwindlela oqhuba ngayo. Ukuba uthetha into engahambi kakuhle nomhlobo wakho, xolisa kwaye ube ngowakho. Into yokugqibela abayifunayo luxinzelelo olongezelelekileyo ngoku, ngakumbi kwinkqubo yabo yenkxaso.
Musa ukulahla iqabane labo
Nangona unokuziva ulinga ukuhlambalaza iqabane lomhlobo wakho, xhathisa loo mnqweno. Umhlobo wakho usenokufuna ukunxibelelana neqabane labo langaphambili ngenxa yezizathu zokuba kunokwenzekaUmzali kunyenabo, okanye unokufuna ekugqibeleni ukuba nobuhlobo kwakhona nabo. Nokuba umhlobo wakho uza kuya edolophini ekulahlekeleni iqabane lakhe langaphambili, yiva nje phandle uze uqiniseke ngaphandle kokufaka kwezakho izimvo. Ukuba umhlobo wakho unxibelelana kwakhona okanye abe ngumhlobo weqabane lakhe langaphambili kwakhona kwaye bayazi ukuba awubathandi, kunokudala imeko engentle kuwo wonke umntu. Zama ukunqanda ukuthi:
- 'Azikulungelanga.'
- Andikholelwa ukuba uhlale nabo ixesha elide. '
- Ndiyazi ukuba ayizukusebenza, bebengazange babe liqabane elikhulu.
- 'Ndivumelana ngokupheleleyo nale nto uyithethayo, (faka igama lomlingane wakho weqabane langaphambili) yeyona nto imbi.'
- Ndinomsindo (faka igama lomlingane wakho weqabane langaphambili) ndikuvise kabuhlungu. '
Sukujonga kuphela kuhlobo lwakho oluqinisekileyo
I-Soley egxile kulwakhiwo lwesilivere inokungasebenzi ngamava omhlobo wakho kwaye inokubenza bazive bavaliwe ukuba babelane nawe ngeemvakalelo zabo zokwenyani. Zama ukunqanda ukuthi:
Ungapeyinta njani ezandleni zakho
- 'Ubhetele xa ungenazo.'
- Yonke into iza kulunga kungekudala. '
- 'Oku kokona kulungileyo.'
- 'Yonke into yenzeka ngesizathu.'
- 'UThixo unecebo ngawe.'
Sukunikela ngeNgcebiso engacelwanga
Ngelixa unokuziva uthanda ukunika uluvo lwakho, kungcono ume kancinci kwaye uzibuze ukuba ingaba umhlobo wakho ufuna uluvo lwakho na. Ngaphambi kokuba unikele ngengcebiso, soloko ubuza kwaye uyihloniphe impendulo yomhlobo wakho. Zama ukungathi:
- 'Imeko yakho ifana neyam,' okanye, Nantsi into endiyenzileyo ... '
- 'Kufuneke u....'
- 'Ufanele ukuba ....'
- 'Ukhe wacinga ngo .....'
Sukwenza Oku Ngawe
Uqhawulo mtshato kunyeUkwahlukanaNdiziva ngathi ndibangela umntu onabazali abaqhawule umtshato ngexesha lobuntwana kunye / okanye bafumane uqhawulo mtshato okanye ukwahlukana ngokwabo. Ngaphambi kokuba ufikelele kumhlobo wakho, jonga izinto ozikhethileyo kwaye uqaphele ukuba yintoni ekuqhubileyo ngaphambili. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba oonobangela bakho kunye nezinto ezibangela umhlobo wakho zinokwahluka kwaye ngelixa unokuba nezinto ezifanayo ngokwamava, inkqubo yomhlobo wakho iya kuba yodwa. Musa ukuthi:
- 'Andinakuze ndiwuqhawule umtshato.'
- 'Ndiyakholelwa ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato sisono.'
- Ndiyazi kakuhle indlela oziva ngayo, kodwa andisoze .... '
Endaweni yoko, nikela ngobubele, ngenkxaso, nangamazwi angagwebi agxile kumava omhlobo wakho hayi elakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo ungabazisa ukuba ukhe wehlelwa yinto efanayo kwaye ungavuya ukwabelana nabo ngoncedo olukuncedileyo ukuba uhlangabezane nalo ukuba bangathanda. Soloko ucela imvume ngaphambi kokungena kumava akho.
Unokuba ngumhlobo olungileyo njani kumntu oqhawula umtshato
Ngelixa unokuziva unovalo malunga nokuthetha into engalunganga kumhlobo ohamba uqhawulo-mtshato, kubalulekile ukuba ubakhona kwaye unike inkxaso engeyoyokugweba. Vumela umhlobo wakho ukuba akhokele, banike amagama amnandi enkxaso, kwaye ubazise ngeendlela ezithile onokubanceda ngazo ukuba bangathanda.
