Iingcaphuno zokufumana iNtuthuzelo emva kokuphulukana nomhlobo

Amagama Aphezulu Ebantwaneni

Umgangatho:

Umhla Wokuzalwa:

Thumela

Ndithumele Nge-Imeyile Veza Kwindawo

Ukuphulukana nomhlobo kunokuba ngamava anzima kakhulu kwaye abuhlungu. Isikhewu esishiywe kukungabikho kwabo sinokuvakala sisongamela, kwaye kuyimvelo ukulwa noluhlu lweemvakalelo. Ngeli xesha elinzima, ukufumana intuthuzelo kwiicaphulo ezithuthuzelayo kunokubonelela ngenkxaso efunekayo kwaye kukuncede uqhubele phambili inkqubo yokulila.

Enye yezona ndlela zinamandla zokumelana nokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo kukukhumbula impembelelo ababenayo ebomini bakho. Njengoko UMaya Angelou wakha wathi, ‘Ndifunde ukuba abantu baya kuyilibala into oyithethileyo, abantu baya kuyilibala into oyenzileyo, kodwa abantu abanakuze bayilibale indlela obenze bavakalelwa ngayo.’ Ukucinga ngeenkumbulo ezintle kunye nothando olwaziswa ngumhlobo wakho ebomini bakho kunokuzisa intuthuzelo noxolo.

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba intlungu luhambo lomntu, kwaye wonke umntu uhlangabezana nayo ngokwahlukileyo. Njengoko uhamba kwiintlungu, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross isikhumbuza, 'Inyaniso kukuba uya kuba buhlungu ngonaphakade. Awuyi ‘kuphulukana’ nokulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo; uya kufunda ukuhlala nayo. Uya kuphila kwaye uzakhe kwakhona malunga nelahleko oyifumeneyo. Uya kuphinda uphile kodwa awusoze ufane. Ufanele ufane okanye ufane ungafuni.'

Bona kwakho: Iingcaphuno zokuhlakulela uthando kunye nokukhulisa ubudlelwane

Ngeli xesha lobunzima, kubalulekile ukuba uzinakekele kwaye uzivumele ukuba ube buhlungu. Njengoko UJennifer Weiner wakha wathi, 'Intlungu ayifani. Ayihambi. Iyavela. Itshintsha imilo. Ngamanye amaxesha kuthi cwaka, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuyangxola. Ngoko, thatha ixesha lakho. Hlala nayo. Mayihlambe phezu kwakho, uze uyikhulule.' Zinike imvume yokuva intlungu, kodwa khumbula ukuziqhelanisa novelwano kwaye ufune inkxaso kwabo babathandayo.

imisebenzi elungileyo yokuqala yabantwana abaneminyaka eli-16 ubudala

Bona kwakho: Ukufumanisa iiFanethi zesiFrentshi eziqhelekileyo kunye nezingaqhelekanga-Uphononongo olunomdla

Iingcaphuno malunga nokuphulukana noMhlobo: Ukufumana intuthuzelo kuMazwi okuthuthuzela

Ukuphulukana nomhlobo ngamava abuhlungu kakhulu anokushiya isithuba esisentliziyweni nasebomini bethu. Ngamaxesha anzima ngolo hlobo, ukufumana intuthuzelo ngamazwi athuthuzelayo kunokunika inkxaso nokuqonda okufuna ngamandla. Nazi ezinye iingcaphuno ezinokukunceda ujonge inkqubo yosizi kwaye ufumane impiliso:

Bona kwakho: ISikhokelo sokugqibela sokuqonda iMood Ring Iintsingiselo zoMbala kunye neemvakalelo abazimelayo.

1. 'Ubuhlobo buzalwa ngelo xesha xa umntu esithi komnye, 'Intoni! Nawe? Ndandicinga ukuba ndim ndedwa.’’ — C.S. Lewis
2. 'Eyona nto intle yafunyanwa ngabahlobo bokwenene kukuba banokukhula ngokwahlukeneyo ngaphandle kokwahluka.' -Elisabeth Foley
3. 'Umhlobo ngumntu owazi konke ngawe nosakuthandayo.' - Elbert Hubbard
4. 'Ulwimi lobuhlobo asingomagama kodwa ziintsingiselo.' - UHenry David Thoreau
5. 'Ubuhlobo buphawula ubomi obunzulu ngakumbi kunothando. Uthando lusengozini yokonakala; ubuhlobo asiyonto ngaphandle kokwabelana.' -Elie Wiesel

Ezi zicatshulwa zisikhumbuza ngempembelelo enzulu ubuhlobo obunokuba nayo kubomi bethu kunye nendlela ukuphulukana nomhlobo okunokushiya isithuba esihlala sihleli. Banikela intuthuzelo ngokuvuma intlungu yokuphulukana nomhlobo ngoxa bekwabalaselisa ukubaluleka nobuhle bonxibelelwano esilwenzayo nabanye.

Ngexesha lenkqubo yesijwili, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba kulungile ukuva uluhlu lweemvakalelo kunye nokuthatha ixesha elifunekayo lokuphilisa. Ezi zicatshulwa zinokusebenza njengesikhumbuzo sokuba awuwedwa kwintlungu yakho kwaye abanye baye bafumana ilahleko yomhlobo.

Ngoxa amazwi ewodwa esenokungayipholisi ngokupheleleyo intlungu, anokunikela intuthuzelo nokuqonda. Ukufunda nokucamngca ngezi ngcaphuno kunokukunceda ufumane intuthuzelo ngeli xesha lobunzima kwaye ukhumbuze ngothando nobuhlobo owabelana nabo nomhlobo wakho olahlekileyo.

Liliphi igama elithuthuzelayo kumhlobo osentlungwini?

Xa umhlobo esentlungwini, kusenokuba nzima ukufumana amazwi afanelekileyo okuthuthuzela nokuxhasa. Noko ke, ukuthetha amazwi ovelwano nokumthuthuzela kunokumthuthuzela umhlobo osentlungwini. Nanga amazwi athuthuzelayo onokuwasebenzisa ukuze uthuthuzele umhlobo osentlungwini:

• 'Ndilapha ngenxa yakho, yaye ndibuhlungu ngokulahlekelwa kwakho.'
• 'Nceda wazi ukuba akuwedwa kule nto, kwaye ndilapha ukuze ndikuxhase.'
• 'Andikwazi ukuyithelekelela into otyhubela kuyo, kodwa ndilapha ukuze ndikuphulaphule nanini na ufuna ukuthetha.'
• 'Wena nosapho lwakho nikwiingcinga nasemithandazweni yam ngeli xesha linzima.'
• 'Ndinithumela lonke uthando lwam namandla njengoko nihamba kule lahleko.'
• 'Thatha lonke ixesha olidingayo ukulila, kwaye ukhumbule ukuba kulungile ukuba ungalunga.'
• 'Umhlobo wakho wayengumntu okhethekileyo, kwaye baya kuhlala benendawo ekhethekileyo ezintliziyweni zethu.'
• 'Khumbula ukuzinyamekela kwaye uthembele kubathandekayo bakho ngenkxaso.'
• 'Ndiyakufowunela ukuba ufuna umntu othetha naye okanye othembele kuye.'
• 'Ngamana iinkumbulo zomhlobo wakho zingakuzisela intuthuzelo noxolo ngeli xesha linzima.'

Khumbula ukuba, wonke umntu uba buhlungu ngendlela eyahlukileyo, ngoko ke kubalulekile ukuba nomonde nokuqondana nomhlobo wakho. Ukunika inkxaso yakho kunye namazwi anobubele kunokwenza umehluko omkhulu kwinkqubo yabo yokuphilisa.

Umthuthuzela njani umhlobo osentlungwini ngeengcaphuno?

Xa umhlobo usentlungwini, kusenokuba nzima ukufumana amagama afanelekileyo onokuwathetha. Nangona kunjalo, iingcaphuno zihlala zinika intuthuzelo kunye nentuthuzelo ngeli xesha linzima. Nazi ezinye iindlela onokuzisebenzisa ngazo izicatshulwa ukuthuthuzela umhlobo osentlungwini:

1. Khetha izicaphulo ezivakalayo: Jonga ucaphulo olubamba iimvakalelo umhlobo wakho anokuba nazo. Nokuba kukucaphula malunga nokulahlekelwa, uthando, okanye ukuphiliswa, ukufumana amagama ahambelana neemvakalelo zabo kunokunika intuthuzelo.
2. Yabelana ngezicatshulwa ngendlela ecingisisiweyo: Cinga ngokubhala izicatshulwa ekhadini elihle okanye isiqwenga sephepha. Ungayinika umhlobo wakho buqu okanye uyithumele ngeposi. Ukongeza inqaku lobuqu kunokubonisa umhlobo wakho ukuba ukhona ukuze amncede.
3. Khuthaza ukucamngca: Iingcaphuno zinokuba sisiqalo sokucamngca kunye nokuphilisa. Khuthaza umhlobo wakho ukuba achithe ixesha nezicatshulwa, azifunde kwaye acinge ngentsingiselo yazo. Oku kunokubanceda ukuba bajongane neemvakalelo zabo kwaye bafumane uxolo.
4. Nikela ngenkxaso: Kunye nezicaphulo, vumela umhlobo wakho azi ukuba ulapho ngenxa yazo. Bakhumbuze ukuba ukulungele ukubaphulaphula, ukuthetha, okanye ukubanikela naluphi na uncedo abasenokulufuna. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwazi ukuba kukho umntu okhathalayo kunokuba yintuthuzelo enkulu.
5. Hlonipha intlungu yabo: Wonke umntu uba buhlungu ngokwahlukileyo, kwaye kubalulekile ukuhlonipha inkqubo eyodwa yomhlobo wakho. Yiba nomonde nokuqonda, yaye ukuphephe ukubeka naluphi na ulindelo kwindlela abafanele bavakalelwe ngayo okanye basabele ngayo. Banike ithuba lokuzila ngendlela yabo.

Khumbula ukuba izicatshulwa yindlela enye yokuthuthuzela umhlobo osentlungwini. Ubukho bakho, uvelwano kunye nenkxaso nazo zixabiseke kakhulu ngeli xesha linzima.

Yintoni isicatshulwa esithuthuzelayo kwilahleko?

Xa sifelwe ngumntu esimthandayo, kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukufumana amagama afanelekileyo okuchaza iimvakalelo zethu zentlungu nentlungu. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha isicatshulwa esithuthuzelayo sinokusinika intuthuzelo kwaye sisikhumbuze ukuba asodwa kwiintlungu zethu. Enye isicatshulwa esinjalo sithi:

'Intlungu lixabiso esilihlawulayo ngenxa yothando.'

Esi sicatshulwa, kubalelwa kuKumkanikazi u-Elizabeth II, siyavuma ukuba intlungu esiyivayo emva kokuphulukana nomntu esimthandayo yimbonakaliso yothando olunzulu kunye nonxibelelwano esabelana ngalo nabo. Isikhumbuza ukuba intlungu yethu ibubungqina bokubaluleka kunye nefuthe laloo mntu ebomini bethu.

Esinye isicatshulwa esithuthuzelayo esinokuqwalaselwa sithi:

'Abo sibathandayo abahambi, bahamba ecaleni kwethu yonke imihla. Ayibonwa, ayiviwa, kodwa isoloko ikufuphi, isathandwa, isakhunjulwa, kwaye ndiyithanda kakhulu.'

Esi sicatshulwa, ngelixa umbhali engaziwa, sinika isiqinisekiso sokuba abantu esibathandayo basenokungabikho ngokwasemzimbeni, kodwa inkumbulo yabo kunye nobukho babo buhlala buhleli kuthi. Isikhumbuza ukuba nangona zisenokungabonakali okanye zivakale, uthando nomoya wazo zisaqhubeka zisalathisa yaye zisithuthuzela.

Okokugqibela, isicatshulwa esithuthuzelayo esivela kuC.S. Lewis:

'Akukho mntu wakha wandixelela ukuba intlungu yayifana noloyiko.'

Esi sicatshulwa sibamba kakuhle iimvakalelo ezinzima eziza nokulahlekelwa. Iyavuma ukuba intlungu isenokusongamela kwaye ingazinzi, ngokufuthi isishiye siziva sisoyika yaye singaqinisekanga. Isikhumbuza ukuba kulungile ukuziva usoyika kwaye yinxalenye yendalo yenkqubo yokuba buhlungu.

Ezi ngcaphuno, phakathi kwezinye ezininzi, zinokusinika intuthuzelo kwaye zisikhumbuza ukuba asodwa kwintlungu yethu. Anikela amazwi okuqonda nathuthuzelayo ebudeni bexesha laxa sisenokuba nzima ukubafumana ngokwethu.

Uthini xa umntu elahlekelwe ngumhlobo wakhe osenyongweni?

Ukuphulukana nomhlobo osenyongweni kunokuba yenye yezona zinto zinzima ebomini. Xa umntu omthandayo nomthandayo esifa, kunokushiya isithuba esibonakala singenakwenzeka. Ebudeni belo xesha libuhlungu, kubalulekile ukubathuthuzela baze baxhase abo basentlungwini.

'Ndiyaxolisa kakhulu ngelahleko yakho.' La magama alula angahamba indlela ende ekuvakaliseni uvelwano lwakho. Ukwazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba ulapho ngenxa yakhe kunye nokuvuma intlungu yakhe kunokunika intuthuzelo.

'Andikwazi ukucinga ukuba uziva njani ngoku, kodwa ndilapha ngenxa yakho.' Ukuqaphela ukuba wonke umntu wenza intlungu ngokwahlukileyo kwaye intlungu yabo iyingqayizivele ibalulekile. Qinisekisa umhlobo wakho ukuba ukulungele ukumamela, ukuthetha, okanye ukubakho nje ngeli xesha linzima.

'Umhlobo wakho osenyongweni wayekhetheke ngokwenene yaye akanakuze alibaleke.' Ukukuqonda ukubaluleka nefuthe lobuhlobo obuphulukeneyo kunokukuzisela intuthuzelo. Khumbuza umhlobo wakho ngomanyano olukhethekileyo ababelana ngalo kunye neenkumbulo abazenzileyo kunye.

'Thatha lonke ixesha olidingayo ukuba ube lusizi kwaye ukhumbule ukuba kulungile ukungahambi kakuhle.' Intlungu yinkqubo enzima kunye nomntu ngamnye. Khuthaza umhlobo wakho ukuba azinike imvume yokuziva kunye nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe ngaphandle kokugweba okanye uxinzelelo.

'Ndilapha ukuze ndikuxhase ngayo nayiphi na indlela endinokuyenza.' Cela iindlela ezingqalileyo onokunceda ngazo, njengokunceda kwimisebenzi eluncedo, ukuphulaphula, okanye ukuba yigxalaba elilile. Yazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba akayedwanga kwintlungu yakhe.

'Khumbula ukuba umhlobo wakho osenyongweni ebeya kufuna ukuba ufumane uxolo nolonwabo kwakhona.' Khuthaza umhlobo wakho ukuba agxile ekuphiliseni nasekufumaneni uvuyo ebomini kwakhona, nangona kubonakala kungenakwenzeka okwangoku. Bakhumbuze ukuba umhlobo wabo osenyongweni ebeya kufuna ukuba baphile ubomi obanelisayo.

'Ndinithumelela lonke uthando namandla am ngeli xesha linzima.' Ukuvakalisa uthando nenkxaso yakho kunokunika intuthuzelo kumhlobo wakho. Baxelele ukuba ucinga ngabo yaye ukulungele ukubanceda, nokuba ukude.

Ukukhumbula uMhlobo: Ukuhlonipha iMemori yabo ngeMiyalezo yeSidima

Xa sifelwa ngumhlobo, kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukujamelana nentlungu nokunganeliseki okulandelayo. Nangona kunjalo, enye indlela yokufumana intuthuzelo kunye nokugcina inkumbulo yabo iphila kukubanika imbeko ngemiyalezo yerhafu. Le miyalezo isebenza njengendlela esuka entliziyweni yokubonakalisa uthando lwakho, umbulelo, kunye nokukhumbula umhlobo wakho ophulukene nawo.

Umyalezo wembeko unokuthatha iindlela ezininzi, kuxhomekeke kubudlelwane bakho bobuqu kunye nomhlobo kunye neenkumbulo owabelane ngazo. Isenokuba ngumyalezo olula obhaliweyo, umbongo, ingoma, okanye ingqokelela yeefoto ezithatha eyona nto iphambili kubuhlobo benu. Injongo kukwenza isipho esibonakalisa ngokwenene ubuhlobo obukhethekileyo obunabo nomhlobo wakho.

Ukongeza kwimirhumo ebhaliweyo, unokwenza intlawulo ebonakalayo usebenzisa iifoto okanye umzobo. Khetha imifanekiso ebamba amaxesha akhethekileyo owabelane ngawo nomhlobo wakho kwaye uwahlanganisele kwikholaji okanye kwialbham yeefoto. Esi sipho sibonwayo sinokuboniswa kwikhaya lakho okanye kwabelwane nabanye, sivumela wonke umntu ukuba akhumbule kwaye abhiyozele ubomi bomhlobo wakho.

oza kunxiba ntoni ngenqanawa yokuhamba ngenqanawa ebusuku ngokusemthethweni

Khumbula, akukho ndlela ilungileyo okanye ingalunganga yokuhlonipha inkumbulo yomhlobo wakho. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwenza imbeko eziva iyinyani kuwe kwaye ibonise ubuhlobo obukhethekileyo enabelana nabo. Ngokuzinika ixesha lokukhumbula umhlobo wakho ngendlela enentsingiselo, unokugcina inkumbulo yakhe iphila uze ufumane intuthuzelo luthando novuyo enalunandipha kunye.

Ulibhala njani isikhumbuzo kumhlobo wakho?

Ukulahlekelwa ngumhlobo ngamava abuhlungu kakhulu, kwaye ukubhala isikhumbuzo kunokuba yindlela yokuhlonipha inkumbulo yabo kunye nokufumana intuthuzelo phakathi kwentlungu. Nanga amanye amanyathelo okukunceda ubhale imbeko kumhlobo wakho:

1. Camngca ngobomi bomhlobo wakho: Ziphe ixesha lokucinga ngeempawu zomhlobo wakho, izinto aziphumezileyo, nempembelelo abe nayo kubomi bakho. Qwalasela ubuntu babo, imilinganiselo, kunye namaxesha akhethekileyo enabelana ngawo kunye.

2. Qala ngentshayelelo yakho: Qala imbeko yakho ngokuzazisa wena kunye noqhagamshelo lwakho kumhlobo wakho. Oku kunokunceda ukuseta ithoni kunye nokuseka ubudlelwane bakho nabo.

3. Yabelana ngeenkumbulo ezithile: Khumbula iinkumbulo ezikhethekileyo owabelane ngazo nomhlobo wakho kwaye uphawule amaxesha abenze bahluka. Nokuba libali elihlekisayo, incoko enentsingiselo, okanye i-adventure enaqhubeka kunye, ezi nkumbulo zinokuzisa intuthuzelo kwaye zibhiyozele ubomi bomhlobo wakho.

4. Thetha ngeempawu zabo nezinto abazifezileyo: Xubusha ngeempawu kunye nezinto oziphumezileyo ezenze umhlobo wakho waba ngokhethekileyo. Gxininisa kumandla abo, iitalente zabo, kunye nempembelelo entle ababenayo kwabanye. Oku kunokuquka ububele babo, isisa, uburharha, okanye nayiphi na impumelelo ababezidla ngayo.

5. Chaza indlela oziva ngayo kunye neemvakalelo zakho: Vula kwaye unyaniseke malunga neemvakalelo zakho zentlungu kunye nokulahlekelwa. Yabelana ngendlela okukuchaphazele ngayo ukusweleka komhlobo wakho kunye nokuba bekunentsingiselo kangakanani kuwe. Kulungile ukubonisa usizi lwakho, kodwa uzame ukufumana amaxesha ovuyo kunye nombulelo ngokuba uwazi.

6. Qeda ngesiphelo esinentsingiselo: Gquba imbeko yakho ngesigqibo esisuka entliziyweni esiquka ifuthe lomhlobo wakho kubomi bakho kunye nelifa abalishiya ngasemva. Usenokunikela amazwi entuthuzelo kwabanye abasentlungwini yokufelwa ngumhlobo wakho.

Ukubhala isikhumbuzo kumhlobo yinkqubo yobuqu kunye neemvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuthatha ixesha lakho kwaye uzivumele ukuba ube buhlungu njengoko ubhala. Khumbula ukuba imbeko yakho yindlela yokuhlonipha inkumbulo yomhlobo wakho kwaye ufumane intuthuzelo phakathi kosizi.

Ngowuphi umyalezo olungileyo?

Xa ufuna ukunika imbeko kumhlobo wakho ongasekhoyo, kubalulekile ukukhetha amagama afanelekileyo ukuchaza iimvakalelo zakho. Umyalezo wembeko ofanelekileyo kufuneka usuka entliziyweni kwaye unyaniseke, ubambe undoqo womhlobo wakho kunye nefuthe abanalo ebomini bakho. Nazi ezinye iimbono zokubhala umyalezo onentsingiselo wembeko:

• Qala ngokwabelana ngenkumbulo emnandi okanye umzuzu okhethekileyo owabelane ngawo nomhlobo wakho. Oku kunokunceda ukuzisa imvakalelo yovuyo kunye nemibhiyozo kwimbeko.
• Balaselisa iimpawu ezintle zomhlobo wakho neendlela aye zenza utshintsho ngazo kubomi babanye. Thetha ngobubele babo, isisa, nothando abaluzise ehlabathini.
• Bonisa umbulelo wakho ngokumazi umhlobo wakho nangexesha enilichithe kunye. Bazise ukuba bebethetha lukhulu kangakanani kuwe kwaye baya kuphoswa ngokunzulu kangakanani.
• Yabelana ngazo naziphi na izifundo okanye ubulumko obufunde kumhlobo wakho. Camngca ngefuthe abanalo ekukhuleni kwakho buqu kunye nezimvo ezixabisekileyo abakunike zona.
• Qeda imbeko ngokubonakalisa uthando lwakho kwaye uthi ndlela ntle. Yazisa umhlobo wakho ukuba baya kuhlala benendawo ekhethekileyo entliziyweni yakho kwaye inkumbulo yabo iya kuhlala ihleli.

Khumbula, akukho ndlela ilungileyo okanye ingalunganga yokubhala umyalezo wembeko. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuthetha ngokusuka entliziyweni kwaye uhloniphe inkumbulo yomhlobo wakho ngendlela eziva iyinyani kuwe.

Ubhala njani ngeenkumbulo zomntu owaswelekayo?

Ukubhala ngeenkumbulo zomntu ongasekhoyo kunokuba ngumngeni kunye nenkqubo yeemvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukusondela kuyo ngovelwano nangentlonipho, njengoko le yindlela yokubeka nokukhumbula umntu osishiyileyo.

Okokuqala nokuphambili, kubalulekile ukuba uthathe ixesha lokucinga ngeenkumbulo onazo ngomntu lowo. Cinga ngezihlandlo enabelana ngazo, amava enanawo kunye, kunye nempembelelo abe nayo kubomi benu. Zivumele ukuba uzive iimvakalelo ezivelayo kwaye uzithande njengenxalenye yenkqubo yokuba buhlungu.

Xa ubhala ngeenkumbulo, zama ukugxila kwizinto ezintle zobomi bomntu kunye nempembelelo abenayo kwabanye. Yabelana ngamabali abalaselisa iimpawu zabo ezizodwa, ububele babo, kunye novuyo abaluzise kubomi babo babangqongileyo. Khumbula ukuba eli lithuba lokubhiyozela ubomi babo kunye neenkumbulo enabelana ngazo.

Cinga ukuquka iinkcukacha ezithile ezenza iinkumbulo ziphile. Chaza izinto ezibonwayo, izandi, kunye neemvakalelo ezinxulumene namava eninawo kunye. Oku kunokunceda ukuzisa iinkumbulo ebomini kwaye zizenze zicace ngakumbi kuwe nakwabanye abanokufunda ukubhala kwakho.

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuyivuma intlungu nosizi olubangelwa kukufelwa. Veza intlungu yakho kwaye wabelane ngendlela ukungabikho kwabo okubuchaphazele ngayo ubomi bakho. Oku kunokunceda abanye abasentlungwini ukuba bazive beqondwa kwaye beqinisekisiwe kwezabo iimvakalelo.

Khumbula ukuba ukubhala ngeenkumbulo zomntu ongasekhoyo yinkqubo enzulu yobuqu. Akukho ndlela ilungileyo okanye ingalunganga yokuyenza. Zivumele ukuba ube yinyani kwaye uyinyani kumava akho kunye neemvakalelo zakho. Amazwi akho anamandla okwenza imbeko ehlala ihleli kumntu ophulukene nayo kwaye anokunika intuthuzelo nentuthuzelo kwabanye abasentlungwini.

Ngowuphi umzekelo wembeko kumhlobo?

Xa kuziwa ekuhlawuleni umhlobo oswelekileyo, zininzi iindlela ezinentsingiselo zokuhlonipha inkumbulo yabo kunye nokubhiyozela impembelelo ababenayo ebomini bakho. Omnye umzekelo wembeko kumhlobo kukwenza icwecwe lesithombe sesikhumbuzo okanye i-scrapbook. Qokelela iifoto zomhlobo wakho, kunye nazo naziphi na izikhumbuzo okanye izikhumbuzo ezikukhumbuza ngazo, kwaye uzihlanganisele kwicwecwe elihle okanye kwi-scrapbook.

Njengoko uqhubeka nenkqubo yokukhetha kunye nokulungelelanisa iifoto, thatha ixesha lokucingisisa ngamaxesha akhethekileyo enabelana ngawo kunye kunye neempawu ezenza umhlobo wakho ahluke kakhulu. Unokubandakanya amanqaku abhalwe ngesandla, iingcaphuno ezizithandayo, okanye iinkumbulo ecaleni kweefoto ukuqhubela phambili ukwenza umnikelo.

I-albhamu okanye i-scrapbook efana nale ayisebenzi nje njengesipho kumhlobo wakho, kodwa ibuye ibe yinto yokugcina exabisekileyo onokuthi ubuyele kuyo nanini na xa ufuna ukuziva usondele kubo. Inokuba ngumthombo wentuthuzelo nesikhumbuzo sothando nobuhlobo enaninabo.

Omnye umzekelo wembeko kumhlobo kukubhala ileta esuka entliziyweni okanye umbongo ngembeko yakhe. Thela iimvakalelo zakho ephepheni kwaye uchaze indlela ubuhlobo babo obuthetha ngayo kuwe. Yabelana ngeenkumbulo zakho ozithandayo, izifundo ozifundileyo kuzo, kunye neendlela ezibuchukumise ngayo ubomi bakho. Esi sipho sinokuba yindlela ebuhlungu yokuqhuba intlungu yakho kwaye uhlawule igalelo kwimpembelelo abenayo umhlobo wakho kuwe.

Ukongeza, unokudala imbeko ngokuqhubeka nelifa lomhlobo wakho kunye neenqobo ezisemgangathweni. Ukuba babenomdla ngesizathu esithile okanye isisa, cinga ngokubandakanyeka okanye ukwenza umnikelo egameni labo. Ngokuqhubeka nomsebenzi wabo okanye ukuxhasa umdla wabo, unokuhlonela inkumbulo yabo kwaye ugcine umoya wabo uphila.

Ekugqibeleni, eyona nto ibalulekileyo malunga nembeko kumhlobo kukuba ivela entliziyweni. Nokuba kungenxa yealbham yeefoto, ileta, okanye ngokuqhubeka nelifa labo, isenzo sokuhlawula imbeko yindlela yobuqu nenentsingiselo yokukhumbula nokuhlonipha umhlobo okhethekileyo.

Ukumelana Nokulahlekelwa: Ukuvakalisa Usizi kunye Nosizi Ngokusweleka koMhlobo

Xa siphulukene nomhlobo, inokuba ngamava anzima kakhulu kwaye abuhlungu. Intlungu kunye nosizi esizivayo lunokongamela, kwaye kubalulekile ukufumana iindlela eziphilileyo zokumelana nezi mvakalelo. Ukuvakalisa usizi lwethu kunye nosizi yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yenkqubo yokuphilisa, njengoko kusivumela ukuba sivume kwaye siqhube iimvakalelo zethu.

Enye indlela yokubonakalisa intlungu nosizi lwethu kukuthetha ngomhlobo wethu nokwabelana ngeenkumbulo. Ukuthetha ngomhlobo wethu kunokusinceda sikhumbule amaxesha amnandi esabelana ngawo size sigcine iinkumbulo zakhe ziphila. Kunokuba luncedo ukufumana umhlobo omthembileyo okanye ilungu lentsapho elikulungeleyo ukumamela nokunika inkxaso ngeli xesha.

Ukubhala kusenokuba sisixhobo esinamandla sokuvakalisa intlungu nosizi. Ukugcina incwadi okanye ukubhalela umhlobo wethu iileta kunokusinika ithuba lokuchaza iimvakalelo neengcinga zethu. Ukubhala kunokuba yinkqubo ye-cathartic kunye nokuphilisa, okusivumela ukuba sikhulule iimvakalelo zethu kwaye sifumane ingqiqo yokuvala.

Ukubandakanyeka kwimisebenzi yokuyila kunokuba yindlela yokubonakalisa intlungu kunye nosizi. Ukupeyinta, ukuzoba, ukudlala umculo, okanye ukubandakanyeka kulo naluphi na olunye uhlobo lobugcisa kunokuvula indlela esivakalelwa ngayo. Le misebenzi yokuyila inokusinceda ukuba sihambise iimvakalelo zethu kwinto eyakhayo nephilisayo.

Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba wonke umntu uba buhlungu ngendlela yakhe nangesantya sakhe. Akukho ndlela ilungileyo okanye ingalunganga yokuba buhlungu, kwaye kulungile ukuva uluhlu lweemvakalelo. Kubalulekile ukuba nomonde kunye nobubele kuthi njengoko sijonga inkqubo yokuba buhlungu.

Ukongezelela, ukufuna inkxaso kwabanye abaye baphulukana nokulahlekelwa kunokuba luncedo. Ukujoyina iqela lenkxaso okanye ukuthetha nomgqirha kunokunika indawo ekhuselekileyo yokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zethu kunye nokufumana isikhokelo. Ukunxulumana nabanye abaye batyhubela amava afanayo kunokusinceda singaziva singedwa kwintlungu yethu.

indlela yokuphuma amabala asetyiweyo

Uhlangabezana njani nentlungu yokufelwa ngumhlobo?

Intlungu yimvakalelo yendalo kunye neyinkimbinkimbi enokuthi ibe yinto enzima xa ulahlekelwa ngumhlobo. Ukujamelana nokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo kunokuziva kunzima kakhulu, kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba wonke umntu uba buhlungu ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Nazi izicwangciso ezimbalwa ezinokukunceda ukuba uhambe kwinkqubo:

1. Zivumele ube buhlungu: Kubalulekile ukuvuma iimvakalelo zakho kwaye uzinike imvume yokuba buhlungu. Musa ukuzama ukucinezela iimvakalelo zakho, njengoko oku kunokwandisa inkqubo yokuphilisa.

2. Fumana inkxaso: Zingqonge ngenkxaso yenkxaso yabahlobo kunye nosapho olunokukunika intuthuzelo nokuqonda ngeli xesha linzima. Ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho kunye neenkumbulo zomhlobo wakho kunonyango.

3. Zikhathalele: Ukuba buhlungu kusenokuchaphazela impilo-ntle yakho yomzimba neyeemvakalelo. Qinisekisa ukuba ukubeka phambili ukuzinyamekela ngokulala ngokwaneleyo, ngokutya ukutya okunesondlo, nokwenza izinto ezikuzisela uvuyo.

4. Veza iimvakalelo zakho: Fumana iindawo eziphilileyo zokubonisa iimvakalelo zakho, njengokubhala kwijenali, ukudala ubugcisa, okanye ukuthatha inxaxheba kwiqela lenkxaso. Unokufumana intuthuzelo ngokuthetha nengcali okanye umcebisi onokukukhokela kwinkqubo yokulila.

5. Hlonipha inkumbulo yomhlobo wakho: Fumana iindlela ezinentsingiselo zokuhlonipha nokukhumbula umhlobo wakho. Oku kunokubandakanya ukwenza isikhumbuzo, ukuququzelela umnyhadala wembeko, okanye ukubandakanyeka kwizinto ezonwabele umhlobo wakho. Ukugcina inkumbulo yabo iphila kunokunika intuthuzelo kunye nemvakalelo yokunxibelelana.

6. Zinike ixesha: Ukuphilisa kuthatha ixesha, kwaye akukho xesha libekiweyo lentlungu. Yiba nomonde kuwe kwaye uzivumele ukuba uve amahla-ndinyuka enkqubo yokuba lusizi. Kulungile ukuba neentsuku ezimnandi kunye neentsuku ezimbi.

7. Funa uncedo lwengcali ukuba luyafuneka: Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba intlungu yakho iphazamisana nobomi bakho bemihla ngemihla okanye uziva udakumbile ixesha elide yaye uphelelwe lithemba, kusenokuba yingenelo ukufuna uncedo lweengcali. Umcebisi okanye umcebisi unokubonelela ngenkxaso kunye nesikhokelo esongezelelweyo.

Khumbula, intlungu luhambo lwakho, kwaye kubalulekile ukuba uthambe kwaye ube novelwano kuwe njengoko uhamba ngokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo. Awuwedwa, kwaye ngexesha kunye nenkxaso, ukuphilisa kunokwenzeka.

Uba buhlungu njani xa ufelwe ngumhlobo wakho?

Ukuba sentlungwini yokufelwa ngumhlobo kunokuba ngamava anzima nabuhlungu ngendlela engathethekiyo. Wonke umntu uhlangabezana nentlungu ngendlela yakhe, kodwa nanga amanye amacebiso anokukunceda ukuba uhambe kweli xesha linzima:

Khumbula, usizi luhambo olulodwa kunye nolomntu. Kubalulekile ukuba ube mnene kuwe kwaye uzivumele ukuba ube buhlungu ngendlela yakho. Kulungile ukufuna inkxaso kwaye uthathe ixesha olidingayo lokuphilisa.

Uthini kumhlobo osentlungwini?

Xa umhlobo usentlungwini, ukufumana amagama afanelekileyo onokuthetha kunokuziva ngathi yinto engenakwenzeka. Nangona kungekho magama omlingo anokususa intlungu yabo, ukunika inkxaso kunye novelwano kunokubanceda kakhulu ngeli xesha linzima. Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzithetha kumhlobo osentlungwini:

'Ndiyaxolisa kakhulu ngokulahlekelwa kwakho. Andikwazi ukucinga ukuba uziva njani, kodwa ndilapha ngenxa yakho.'

'Ndifuna wazi ukuba ndilapha ukuze ndikuphulaphule, nanini na ufuna ukuthetha okanye ukwabelana ngeemvakalelo zakho.'

'Kulungile ukuba ungahambi. Intlungu yinkqubo, kwaye ithatha ixesha. Thatha lonke ixesha olidingayo ukunyanga.'

'Ndiyakhumbula indlela umhlobo wakho awayethetha ngayo kuwe. Inkumbulo yabo iya kuhlala ihleli entliziyweni yakho.

'Andikwazi ukuyisusa intlungu yakho, kodwa ndingahlala nawe kuyo. Akuyomfuneko ukuba udlule kule nto uwedwa.'

'Ndicela undazise ukuba kukho into endinokuyenza ukukuxhasa ngoku. Enoba kukwenza imisetyenzana, kukuphekela ukutya, okanye kukubakho nje ukuze ulungiselele.'

'Intlungu yahlukile kumntu wonke, ngoko musa ukuthelekisa uhambo lwakho nolomnye umntu. Yithathe usuku ngalunye ngexesha.'

'Umhlobo wakho ubenethamsanqa lokuba nawe ebomini babo. Ndiyathemba ukuba uya kuthuthuzeleka kukwazi ukuba ubunentsingiselo engakanani kubo.'

'Kulungile ukukhala kwaye ubonise iimvakalelo zakho. Iimvakalelo zakho zifanelekile, yaye ndilapha ukuze ndikuxhase kuko konke.'

'Khumbula ukuba ukuphilisa akukho mgca. Ezinye iintsuku ziya kuba nzima kunezinye, kodwa womelele ngokwaneleyo ukuba udlule kule nto.'

Khumbula, ngamanye amaxesha eyona nto inamandla onokuyenza kukuba ube lapho nje kumhlobo wakho, umnike igxalaba lokukhala okanye indlebe evayo. Bazise ukuba ababodwa kwaye ukhona ukubaxhasa kwinqanaba ngalinye lendlela.

Iingcaphuno zoMngcwabo woMhlobo: Ukubonelela ngenkxaso kunye novelwano ngamaxesha osizi

Xa umhlobo wakho esifa, kusenokuba ngamava abuhlungu nabuhlungu. Ngamaxesha osizi, kubalulekile ukunikela inkxaso novelwano kwabo basentlungwini. Iingcaphuno zomngcwabo zinokusebenza njengesikhumbuzo esithuthuzelayo sothando kunye neenkumbulo ekwabelwana ngazo nomhlobo ongasekhoyo. Ezi zicatshulwa zinganceda ukuvakalisa amazwi ovelwano kwaye zinike intuthuzelo ngexesha lenkonzo yomngcwabo nangaphaya.

'Umhlobo usenokuba uswelekile, kodwa iinkumbulo esabelana ngazo ziya kuhlala ngonaphakade.'

'Nangona singenakukubona, siyazi ukuba usoloko usecaleni kwethu. Phumla ngoxolo sihlobo esithandekayo.'

'Egadini yeenkumbulo, siya kukugcina ezintliziyweni zethu ngonaphakade.'

'Amagama akanakuyichaza intlungu esikuyo, kodwa kuyasithuthuzela ukwazi ukuba awusabandezeleki.'

indlela yokusika iileya ezinweleni

'Usizisele uvuyo kunye nokuhleka ebomini bethu, kwaye ubukho bakho buya kukhunjulwa kakhulu. Ngamana ungafumana uxolo olungunaphakade, sihlobo esithandekayo.'

'Simkile emehlweni ethu, kodwa hayi ezintliziyweni zethu. Phumla ngoxolo sihlobo sethu esithandekayo.'

'Ubuhlobo bakho buyintsikelelo, kwaye ukuhamba kwakho kushiya isithuba esingenakuvalwa. Ngamana ungafumana ulonwabo lukanaphakade.'

'Iinkumbulo esizenzileyo kunye ziya kuhlala zixatyiswa. Sala kakuhle, sihlobo esithandekayo.'

'Nangona umkile, umoya wakho uya kusikhokela usikhusele ngonaphakade.'

'Ngeli xesha lentlungu, sifumana intuthuzelo kuthando nakubuhlobo enabelana nathi nathi. Phumla ngoxolo sihlobo esithandekayo.'

Ezi ngcaphuno zomngcwabo zinokwabelwana ngazo ngexesha le-eulogy, zifakwe kwikhadi lovelwano, okanye zithethwe ngokuthe ngqo kwabo balilayo. Banikela ngenkxaso, uvelwano, kunye nesikhumbuzo sokuba umhlobo ongasekhoyo uya kuhlala ekhunjulwa kwaye exatyiswa. Ngexesha losizi, kubalulekile ukudibana, unikeze intuthuzelo, kwaye ubhiyozele ubomi bomhlobo othandekayo.

Ulubonakalisa njani uvelwano okanye intlungu nomntu?

Ukubonakalisa uvelwano okanye intlungu kumntu oye walahlekelwa yindlela ebalulekileyo yokubonisa inkxaso kunye nokuthuthuzela. Kungokwemvelo ukuziva ungaqinisekanga ngento omawuyithethe okanye uyenze kwiimeko ezinjalo, kodwa amazwi ambalwa asuka entliziyweni anokunceda kakhulu ekunikeleni intuthuzelo. Nazi ezinye iindlela zokubonisa uvelwano okanye intlungu nomntu:

Khumbula ukuba, akukho ndlela igqibeleleyo yokubonakalisa uvelwano okanye intlungu, kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwazisa loo mntu ukuba ukulungele ukumnceda ngeli xesha linzima.

Yintoni isicatshulwa esihle esibuhlungu somhlobo?

Ukuba sentlungwini yokufelwa ngumhlobo yinto enzima nebuhlungu ngendlela emangalisayo. Ngeli xesha, ukufumana intuthuzelo kwiicaphulo ezithuthuzelayo kunokubonelela ngentuthuzelo kunye nenkxaso. Nali isicatshulwa esihle esibuhlungu somhlobo:

'Nangona sisenokungakwazi ukubonana kwakhona, iinkumbulo esabelana ngazo ziya kuhlala zisentliziyweni yam. Ubungengomhlobo nje, kodwa umphefumlo omhle ozise uvuyo nothando olungaka ebomini bam. Phumla ngoxolo sihlobo esithandekayo.'

Esi sicatshulwa sivuma ubunzulu nothando olwabelwana ngalo phakathi kwabahlobo kwaye sigxininisa impembelelo ehlala ihleli umhlobo anokuba nayo kubomi bethu. Isebenza njengesikhumbuzo sokuxabisa iinkumbulo kunye nokuhlonipha ubuhlobo naxa kungabikho ubukho babo ngokwasemzimbeni.

Ukuba sentlungwini luhambo lomntu, kwaye wonke umntu uhlangabezana nelahleko ngokwahlukileyo. Ngelixa izicatshulwa zinokubonelela ngentuthuzelo, kubalulekile ukuzivumela ukuba uzilile ngendlela yakho kwaye ufune inkxaso kwabo ubathandayo ngeli xesha linzima.

Sisiphi isigidimi esithuthuzelayo kumntu osentlungwini?

Xa umntu esentlungwini, kusenokuba nzima ukufumana amagama afanelekileyo anokuwathetha. Noko ke, isigidimi esithuthuzelayo sinokuba negalelo elikhulu ekunikeleni intuthuzelo nenkxaso ebudeni bexesha elinzima ngolo hlobo. Nantsi imiyalezo embalwa ethuthuzelayo enokuzisa intuthuzelo kumntu osentlungwini:

'Ndilapha ngenxa yakho.'

Ukwazisa loo mntu ukuba ulapho kuye kunokukunika imvakalelo yentuthuzelo nesiqinisekiso. Ibonisa ukuba ababodwa abasentlungwini yaye banomntu okulungeleyo ukubaphulaphula nokubaxhasa.

'Andikwazi ukuyithelekelela into otyhubela kuyo, kodwa ndilapha ukuze ndiphulaphule.'

Usizi ngamava anzulu kwaye awodwa, kwaye kunokuba nzima ukuyiqonda ngokupheleleyo into atyhubela kuyo umntu. Ukukuvuma oku nokunikela indlebe ephulaphulayo kunokuba ngumyalezo othuthuzelayo, njengoko kubonisa uvelwano novelwano.

'Thatha lonke ixesha olifunayo.'

Ukuba sentlungwini kuthatha ixesha, yaye wonke umntu wenza indlela avakalelwa ngayo ngokwahlukileyo. Ukwazisa loo mntu ukuba akukho kungxama kwinkqubo yakhe yokuphilisa kunokuba sisigidimi esithuthuzelayo. Kubonisa ukuba uyaluhlonipha uhambo lwabo lomntu ngamnye kwaye ukhona ukubaxhasa kulo lonke.

'Ndisikhumbula kakuhle eso sithandwa sakho.'

Ukubalisa ngeenkumbulo ezikhuthazayo namabali angomntu esimthandayo oye wasweleka kunokumthuthuzela umntu osentlungwini. Ibakhumbuza ukuba othandekayo wabo uya kuhlala ekhunjulwa kwaye exatyiswe, kwaye inokunceda ukugcina inkumbulo yabo iphila.

'AWUKHO wedwa.'

Intlungu idla ngokuziva ikheswa, kodwa ukukhumbuza umntu ukuba akayedwanga kunokumthuthuzela. Ukubazisa ukuba ukulungele ukubanceda nokuba kukho abanye ababakhathaleleyo nabakuqondayo oko kunokunceda ukuthomalalisa ubulolo babo.

Khumbula, wonke umntu uba buhlungu ngokwahlukileyo, ngoko ke kubalulekile ukuhlengahlengisa umyalezo wakho othuthuzelayo ngokweemfuno zomntu kunye nezinto azikhethayo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukubonelela ngenkxaso yakho kwaye ubazise ukuba ubakho ngenxa yabo.

uyisusa njani igorila yeglu super kulusu

Umbuzo kunye nempendulo:

Iingcaphulo ezithuthuzelayo zinokukunceda njani xa uphulukene nomhlobo?

Iingcaphuno ezithuthuzelayo zinokunceda kwinkqubo yosizi ngokunika intuthuzelo nenkxaso. Basenokunikela amazwi okhuthazo baze basikhumbuze ukuba asisodwa esiva intlungu.

Ungandinika umzekelo wesicatshulwa esithuthuzelayo sokuphulukana nomhlobo?

'Nangona kungekho nto inokubuyisela ilixa lobungangamsha engceni, lobungangamsha bentyantyambo, asiyi kuba buhlungu, kunoko sifumane ukomelela koko kuseleyo.' - UWilliam Wordsworth

Kutheni kubalulekile ukufumana intuthuzelo kwiingcaphulo emva kokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo?

Iingcaphuno zinokusebenza njengesikhumbuzo sothando kunye neenkumbulo ezabelwana ngazo nomhlobo ongasekhoyo. Banokuzisa imvakalelo yentuthuzelo noxolo ngexesha lobunzima.

Ngaba kukho naziphi na izicatshulwa ezinokunceda kwinkqubo yokuphulukisa emva kokulahlekelwa ngumhlobo?

'Intlungu lixabiso esilihlawulayo ngenxa yothando.' - UKumkanikazi uElizabeth II. Esi sicatshulwa siyayivuma intlungu yokulahlekelwa kodwa sikwagxininisa ukubaluleka kothando kunye nexabiso lobuhlobo obulahlekileyo.

Iingcaphulo ezithuthuzelayo zinokunikela njani inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo xa usentlungwini yokufelwa ngumhlobo?

Iingcaphuno ezithuthuzelayo zinokunceda ekuqinisekiseni iimvakalelo ezifunyenwe ngexesha lenkqubo yokulila. Basenokunikela imvakalelo yokuqonda novelwano, besikhumbuza ukuba kulungile ukuvakalelwa ngendlela esivakalelwa ngayo.

Kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukuchacha kukulahlekelwa ngumhlobo?

Inkqubo yokuphulukisa ekulahlekelweni ngumhlobo yahlukile kumntu wonke kwaye akukho xesha libekiweyo. Intlungu ngamava anzulu obuqu yaye inokwahluka ngobude nobunzulu. Abanye abantu banokuqala ukuziva beziva bephilisiwe kwaye bamkelekile emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, ngelixa abanye banokuthatha iminyaka ukucubungula ngokupheleleyo iimvakalelo zabo. Kubalulekile ukuba uzinike imvume yokulila ngesantya sakho kwaye ufune inkxaso xa kuyimfuneko. Ukuphilisa akuthethi ukulibala umhlobo wakho, kodwa kunokuba ufumane indlela yokuphila nokulahlekelwa kwaye uxabise inkumbulo yabo.

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