Uhlala uxabana rhoqo kwaye ngaphandle kwemizamo yakho emihle, khange ukwazi ukuyenza isebenze. Emva koko niyaphinda nibonane, kwaye izinto zibonakala zingcono. Kwale chemistry ikho, kwaye uzifumana usesikhundleni sokucingisisa ukuphinda utshate nomntu owayesakuba liqabane lakho. Ngaba olu lwalamano lusebenza? Njengakuyo yonke imitshato, impendulo ilele kuwo omabini amaqabane azimiseleyo ukwenza ubudlelwane busebenze ixesha elide.
Iinkcukacha-manani malunga nokuBuyiselwa kweMitshato
Izibalo zemitshato ebuyiselweyo, apho abantu abatshatileyo baphinde batshata, kunokuba yinto emangalisayo. Ngelixa amanani kwi Psychology Namhlanje cebisa ukuba i-67% yemitshato yesibini kunye ne-73% yemitshato yesithathu iphela kuqhawulo-mtshato, izinto zibonakala zihamba ngcono kancinci kubantu abaphinda batshata amaqabane abo.
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Iingcebiso ngeenkcukacha zoqhawulo mtshato
- Iingcebiso zoMama abangatshatanga
- Ukwabiwa ngokulinganayo koqhawulo mtshato
Ukudibana kwakhona
UGqirha Nancy Kalish Uphande ngezothando ezivuselelekileyo ukusukela kwiminyaka yoo-1990. Uphando lwakhe lujolise kwizibini ezinxibelelana kwakhona namaqabane abo emva kwekhefu leminyaka emihlanu. Inqanaba lokuqala lophando lwakhe, olwaphela ngo-1996, lalinabaphenduli abamalunga ne-1 000. Ekugqibeleni, uKalish wafumanisa ukuba, malunga ne-6% izibini ezitshatileyo zaza zaqhawula umtshato zagqibela ngokutshata kwakhona, kwaye ama-72% amaqabane adibeneyo ahlala kunye.
Izizathu zokuba abantu bafuna ukuphinda batshate neqabane
Zininzi izizathu ezahlukeneyo zokuba amaqabane athathe isigqibo sokubuyela kunye. Ukongeza, ukuphinda utshate kwakhona kunokubandakanya into enye okanye ezingakumbi zokuvuselela.
Umgama Wenza Intliziyo ikhule ngakumbi
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu abatshatileyo abaqondi ngokuthe ngqo ukuba bathetha ntoni omnye komnye de bawuqhawule umtshato. Nokuba bohlukene, isibini sinokuziva sinqamlisiwe ngokwaneleyo omnye komnye.
Ixesha lokuCamngca lenza ukuba umsindo uphele
Kunokuba lula ngakumbi ukucinga ngolwalamano xa uthatha ixesha kude nalo. Emva kwexesha elithile, iimvakalelo zakho ezingalunganga azizukuqina njengokuba zazinjalo emtshatweni, kwaye uya kuqala ukubona eyakho indima ekusileleni komtshato. Ukwamkela into ngewuyenze ngcono linyathelo lokuqala lokuxolelanisa nokusebenza kubudlelwane.
Ingca ayinakuba luhlaza kangako
Abanye abantu bacinga ukuba izinto zihlala zingcono-ukuba ingca iluhlaza-naphina apho ikhoyo kodwa kwimeko yabo yangoku. Emva kokufumana ubomi obungatshatanga, abanye abantu banokuqonda ukuba akekho omnye umntu omkhulu njengowayesakuba liqabane labo.
Utshintsho kubuntu kunye nothando oluhlaziyiweyo
Abantu bayatshintsha njengokuba bekhula, kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba izibini kufuneka zihlukane. Umtshato usenokuba uphelile ngenxa yokuba amaqabane etshintsha, kodwa banokutshintsha kwakhona ebomini kwaye bafumane ukuba bayathandana kwakhona.
Ngaba Ufanele Uzame Ukubuyisela Umtshato Wakho?
UJim Solomon , ongumcebisi ojolise ekuncedeni izibini ezitshatileyo, uthi zikhonaIzizathu ezifanelekileyo zokubuyisela umtshato, nangona esithi ukubuyelana ayinguye wonke umntu. Ngelixa abacebisi abaninzi bekhuthaza izibini ukuba ziphinde zitshate ukuba kunokwenzeka, uSolomon uthi kwezinye iimeko, uxolelwaniso alucebisi.
Ukwamkela uCulpability
Amaxesha ngamaxesha, omnye okanye bobabini abatshatileyo bayathandabuza ukuqaphela igalelo labo ekuqhekezeni umtshato. USolomon uthi oku kuthandabuza luphawu olulungileyo lokuba isibini ekuthethwa ngaso asikakulungelanga ukubuyela kunye. Ukuze umtshato uphumelele kwakhona, omabini amaqabane kufuneka aqonde ukuba ngamnye kubo uthathe inxaxheba ekuphelisweni komtshato wabo.
Ukuziphatha okuhle
Rhoqo, utshilo uSolomon, izibini zihlala zithethelela kwaye zilungelelanise indlela abaziphethe ngayo (okanye indlela yokuziphatha kwabo babetshate nabo) ngaphandle kokuthatha amanyathelo okutshintsha. U-syas ukuba ukuze umtshato uphinde usebenze, omabini amaqabane kufuneka abonakalise utshintsho lwenyani kwizenzo, izimo zengqondo kunye neendlela zokuziphatha.
Utshintsho Okulindelweyo
Amaxesha ngamaxesha, enye yezinto ezenza umtshato uqhekeke kukuba elinye okanye omabini amaqabane alindele izinto ezingekho ngqiqweni. USolomon uthi ukuze isibini sidibane ngempumelelo, isibini kufuneka silindele izinto ngokwaso, amaqabane abo kunye nomtshato ngokubanzi. NgokukaSolomon, ingcebiso ingahamba indlela ende ekuncedeni abalingane ukuba bahlengahlengise izinto esele bezifumene kwaye benze izinto ezintsha, eziyinyani nezilindelweyo.
Amanyathelo oza kuwathatha ukuze uphinde utshate usebenze
Ezinye izinto zinokunyusa amathuba okuphumelela emtshatweni okwesibini. Ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho bube bobokugqibela buza kuthatha umsebenzi kunye nokuzimisela, kunye neseti efanelekileyo yeemeko.
Ukufuna ukuCetyiswa
Awufuni ukuqala ubudlelwane bakho nemicimbi efanayo owawunayo ngaphambili. Nokuba uziva ukuba le micimbi ayikukhathazi, isafuna ukulungiswa. Iingcebiso zikunceda ukuba ufunde indlela yokugcina unxibelelwano luvulekile phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho. NgokukaSolomon, ukululekwa ngomtshato kunye neengcebiso ngaphambi komtshato ziyimfuneko ukuze uphinde utshate.
Khumbula Utshata Umntu Ofanayo
Nangona wena neqabane lakho nisenokutshintsha kule minyaka idlulileyo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ezinye iindlela nifane ngazo. Ukufunda ukujongana nezinto ebezikukhathaza ngaphambili kwaye esele zenzeka kubalulekile ukuba ungakhuli uphazamisekile kuzo kwakhona.
Zilungiselele ukusebenza nzima
Ukutshata, nokubuyisela umtshato ngokukodwa, kufuna umsebenzi omninzi kunye nomzamo. Zilungiselele ukusebenza nzima ukwenza umtshato wakho omtsha usebenze.
Cinga ngokuYila isiVumelwano sangaphambi komtshato
Abantu abaninzi abaphinda batshate abantu ababetshate nabo bagqiba ekubeni basebenzise isivumelwano ngaphambi komtshato ukuzikhusela. Lo ingangumba obuthathaka kuwo omabini amaqela, kodwa abantu abaninzi baziva bebhetele malunga nokuzibophelela kwabo xa besazi ukuba iiasethi zabo ziya kukhuselwa ukuba umtshato uphela kwakhona.
Ukuhlala Unethemba
Xa utshata iqabane lakho langaphambili, unokuva ukugculelwa okuninzi ngamalungu osapho kunye nabahlobo. Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu ekufuneka igcinwe engqondweni kukuhlala unethemba. Ukuba uqala ukumamela into abayithethayo, uya kuqala ukuyikholelwa ngokwakho kwaye umtshato wakho unokubandezeleka ngenxa yayo. Endaweni yoko, enkosi abo ubathandayo ngenkxalabo yabo, baqinisekise ukuba nobabini niceba ukusebenza nzima kubudlelwane benu ngeli xesha, kwaye niyayixabisa inkxaso.
Ukubuyisela Umtshato Wakho
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ukubuyisela umtshato wakho kowayesakuba liqabane lakho sisigqibo esifanelekileyo kubo bonke ababandakanyekayo, kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba lo msebenzi ufuna isixa esikhulu somsebenzi. Ekugqibeleni, nangona kunjalo, lonke usapho lwakho luhlala kunye phantsi kwegumbi elinye, unokufumana nje ukuba wonke umntu wonwabile.
