Uyalithanda iqabane lakho, intombi yakho, okanye iqabane lakho, kodwa uziva ngathi lo mntu uyaphuncuka, okanye ulwa rhoqo. Ungasindisa njani ubudlelwane bakho?
Amanyathelo okuqala
Ubudlelwane buhamba kakubi ngenxa yeendlela ezingena mpilo zobudlelwane. Ukuba nilwa kakhulu okanye niphepha omnye komnye, amathuba okuba wena neqabane lakho ninazo iindlela zokuziphatha kunye nokunxibelelana omnye nomnye ezingahambelaniyo neepatheni zobudlelwane ezifundwe ebuntwaneni.
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Ukulawula ubudlelwane beCPR, kukho amanyathelo onokuwenza kwangoko ukufumana izinto kumkhondo ofanelekileyo.
Chonga ukungaziphathi kakuhle
Iimpawu zokuziphatha ezingenamveliso ezinje ngokugxeka, ukugxeka, kunye nohlaselo olufihlwe njengemibuzo, kufuneka lubhekiswe ngokukhawuleza. UGqirha John Gottman uchonga iindlela zokuziphatha ezine eziqinisekileyo zokuphazamisa ubudlelwane bezothando:
- Ukugxekwa -Ukugxeka iqabane lakho kubonisa ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha iqabane lakho, ukuba ufumana iimpazamo, ukuba awumamkeli umlingane wakho ngenxa yendlela ayiyo. Ukugxeka indlela iqabane lakho elicinga, livakalelwa, lenze ngayo izinto, okanye lithethe ngayo, ayamkelekanga, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo ayizukunceda ulwalamano lwenu luphumelele.
- Ukudelela - Ukuziva udelelekile kubonisa ingxaki ngokuhloniphana nokuqonda. Inzondo iyakhula, kwaye kunzima ukuvelisa kubudlelwane xa inzondo kunye nokudelela zithatha indawo yotyekelo olunemveliso, njengokuthembana nonxibelelwano. Ukuba ugxeka iqabane lakho kwaye ucinga kakubi ngalo, amathuba okuba, indelelo isongiwe kule nto inamandla.
- Ukuzikhusela -Ukuzikhusela kunokuba negalelo kumlo ogqithisileyo kubudlelwane. Ukuzikhusela kunokwenzeka xa elinye iqabane libaluleke kakhulu.
- Ukuqengqeleka kwamatye Ubudlelwane buyaphola xa abantu befunda ukunxibelelana ngeendlela ezinemveliso. Ukunika iqabane lakho igxalaba elibandayo ukuze ulifundise isifundo sisenzo sempindezelo, kwaye iya kwenza izinto zibe mandundu. Kubonisa ukuba ubambelele kumsindo wakho endaweni yokusebenza kuwo.
Ukuzama ukuphilisa ubudlelwane bakho, kuya kufuneka ujonge kwinxalenye yakho kuphela, hayi kuzo zonke izinto eziphosakeleyo oziva ukuba zenziwe liqabane lakho.
Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho alufumani mbambano, usenokuba uye wahlukana endaweni yoko. Ngamanye amaxesha ukungasebenzi kuthetha ngokukhwaza njengezenzo kunye namagama. Unokwazi ukujonga izinto ozenzileyo kunye nezinto ongakhange uzenze, kwaye iya kukunceda, nokuba uye wahlukana okanye uhlala usilwa.
Sebenza kwiZakhono zoNxibelelwano
Ukungabikho konxibelelwano inokuba sesinye sezizathu zokuba uzive uqhekekile kulwalamano. Ukuphucula unxibelelwano, funda ukuphulaphula kakuhle. Umzekelo:
- Buza imibuzo ethile. Endaweni yokubuza ukuba lwalunjani usuku lweqabane lakho, buza 'Ihambe njani isindululo sakho?'
- Bonisa ukuba umamele ngokugcina umfowunelwa ngamehlo, ukubuza imibuzo yokulandela, kunye nokujonga.
Gxila kwiZenzo zakho
Kulula kakhulu ukubeka ityala kwiqabane lakho kwimicimbi yakho kubudlelwane. Qaphela ukuba ukuba izinto azilunganga ebomini bakho, kufuneka ujonge kwizenzo zakho ukuzilungisa. Ukukunceda ujolise kwizenzo zakho, zibuze oku kulandelayo:
- Ukuba ulwa kakhulu neqabane lakho, uthini xa usilwa?
- Ngaba usongelwe yimpikiswano ude uphume ungathethi izinto ezimbi?
- Ngaba unengxaki yokuthatha inyathelo ukubuyela umva ukuze uxoxe ngokwahluka kwakho ngokuzolileyo?
Nokuba awabelani, awuzidibanisi, okanye ubonakalisa ukungathembani, kukho izizathu zokuba kutheni unxibelelana neqabane lakho ngendlela eyonakalisayo. Imicimbi yobuntwana inokuphucula ubudlelwane bakho okanye iphazamisane nabo. Ukuze uqonde indlela yokulungisa ubudlelwane bakho, kuya kufuneka uyivume indlela oziphatha ngayo.
Amanyathelo alandelayo
Nje ukuba ugxile kuwe nakwamagalelo owenzayo ekupheliseni ubudlelwane bakho, qala ukugxila kwezinye izinto ezifuna ukuphiliswa. Ukuvalwa, ukuqiqa kunye neqabane lakho kwaye nokwamkela ukuqhekeka kubudlelwane bakho kungahamba indlela ende ekusombululeni iingxaki ojamelene nazo.
iindawo ezithatha iikati simahla kufutshane nam
Gxila kukuSondela ngokuNxibelelana
Ubomi kunye nezibophelelo zayo, ezinje ngomsebenzi kunye nabantwana, zinokutya okanye lonke ixesha lakho lamahhala, ke ukugcina ukusondela kunokuba lucelomngeni ngakumbi. Ukuba ulwa ngakumbi okanye uziva ukude ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lakho, wenza inzame zoku ndiziva ndisondele kwakhona iya kunceda ukuphinda umise ubudlelwane obonakeleyo.
Yazisa ngoRift
Ukuthetha malunga nenyani yokuba uye wakhukuliseka, nokuba kungenxa yokulwa rhoqo, okanye ngenxa yokunqongophala kokufumaneka, kuya kunceda ukucoca umoya. Ufuna ukusondela kule nto ungagwebi, ungagwebi.
Umzekelo, unokuthi, 'Ndiyakuthanda ukuthandana nawe. Ndandiziva sisondelene kakhulu ngelo xesha. Ndingathanda ukuziva ndisondele kuwe kwakhona. ' Oku kunemveliso ngakumbi kunesityholo esifana nokuthi, 'Andisoze ndikubone kuba ukhathalele ukudlala igalufa ngaphezu kokuba undikhathalele.'
Brainstorm
Unokuthetha kwakhona nento onokuyenza ukuze uzive usondele kwakhona. Yiba neseshoni yokucinga malunga nokuza nezimvo malunga nendlela onokuphinda umise ngayo ubudlelwane obabunabo.
- Xoxa ngendlela onokufumana ngayo ixesha kunye, njengokuqesha umntu ogcina umntwana ukuze ubenomhla kube kanye ngenyanga.
- Yiza nezimvo ngendlela yokuchitha ixesha kunye. Umzekelo, ingaba niyayithanda i-backgammon, ifoto, okanye ukupeyinta? Ukufumana umdla oqhelekileyo kuya kukunceda uzive usondele.
- Cinga ngeendlela ezintsha zokuchitha ixesha kunye. Ngaba kukho into oyithandayo nobabini ofuna ukuyenza kodwa khange ube nalo ixesha?
- Cinga ngeendlela onokwenza ngazo ixesha lokwabelana ngesondo. Ubomi besondo obuphilileyo buthetha ubudlelwane obunempilo.
Inyathelo lokugqibela
Ukuba uziva ukuba ubudlelwane bakho abenzi nkqubela phambili, abacebisi ngomtshato Unokuba luncedo kakhulu ebantwini ukulungisa umsantsa, kodwa akufuneki utshatile ukuze ubone umcebisi womtshato. Usenokubona enye ukuba uhlala ixesha elide, ubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo.
Ungandwendwela ugqirha kunye neqabane lakho nangaliphi na ixesha kule nkqubo, kwaye kwangoko undwendwela enye, kungcono yona. Abacebisi ngomtshato banokukunceda uchaze iinkalo zobudlelwane bakho ezihamba kakuhle kunye nezinto ezibangela iingxaki kubudlelwane. Ukucebisa kunokunceda izibini ukuba zicacise ukuba ziyafuna okanye azifuni kusebenza kubudlelwane babo.
Ukujongana nokungathembeki
Ukukopa kwiqabane lakho okanye iqabane lenza iseti epheleleyo yeemeko. Inokuzisa isiphelo kwangoko kubudlelwane kunye nayiphi na intembeko oyimisileyo neqabane lakho.
Funa Ingcebiso
Ukuba kuye kwakho ixesha elifanelekileyo lokufuna iingcebiso, emva kokuba omnye okanye omabini amaqabane ekopelile, ngaba kunjalo. Ukungathembeki kuhlala kubonisa ukuba ubudlelwane sele buneengxaki ezithile. Ukunyanga ukunganyaniseki, loo micimbi kufuneka iqwalaselwe.
Vakalisa Iimvakalelo Zakho
Umntu okhohlisiweyo uza kwenzakala, azive engcatshiwe, kwaye angalithembi iqabane lakhe. Kubalulekile ukuba uvumele ezi mvakalelo ukuba zichazwe, nokuba zenzeka kwiofisi yonyango okanye kunye njengesibini.
Funda ukuXolela kwaye uphinde uthembe kwakhona
Ukuba isibini siza kusinda kukungathembeki, umntu okhohlisiweyo kuya kufuneka afunde ukuxolela, kwaye umntu okreqileyo kuya kufuneka abuyise ukuthembana kweqabane lakhe.
Inye into enokunceda le nkqubo kukuba iqabane eliqhathe ukubuza ukuba kungathatha ntoni ukuba likuthembe kwakhona, lize emva koko lilandele oko kuthethwayo.
Ngaba ubudlelwane buyahlanguleka?
Kuthatha umgudu kubo bobabini abantu ukugcina ubudlelwane. Logama nje bobabini abantu bezibophelele ekusebenzeni kubudlelwane kunye, luphawu oluhle omabini amaqabane azibophelele kwinkqubo yokuphilisa ubudlelwane babo kunye. Ngelishwa, ukuba iqabane lakho linjalo Andifuni ukusebenza kubudlelwane nawe, ubudlelwane bunokwenzeka buphele.
amazwi entuthuzelo kwabo bafelweyo
Nikela ingqalelo Kuwe
Ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buyaphela kwaye elinye iqabane alifuni kusebenza kulo, elona nyathelo lilungileyo ekufuneka ulwenzile kukukwenza ziqwalasele . Qiniseka ukuba uthatha ixesha ukukhathalela impilo yakho. Yamkela kwaye uve iimvakalelo zakho, nokuba kunzima. Ezi mvakalelo ziya kuncipha ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye uya kufunda kwaye ukhule ukusuka kula mava.
Sukuyenza Imbi kakhulu
Zikho nezinye iintshukumo ungathatha. Usenokungakwazi ukulungisa ubudlelwane, kodwa ubuncinci ngekhe wenze into eza kwenza imeko ibe mandundu, njengokuzama ukunyanzela iqabane lakho ukuba lihlale okanye limcenge. Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha azilungisi iingxaki ezikhoyo phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho.
Yenza iinzame kwangethuba
Eyona ndlela yokugcina ubudlelwane kukuzibandakanya. Ngaba ubudlelwane buhamba kakuhle? Ngaba niziva nisondelelene? Ngaba ulwa kakhulu? Ngaba unxibelelana kakuhle? Nokuba ulwalamano lwakho lungaqhwithi, unokwenza izinto ukubonisa ukuba uzinikele ekufundeni nasekukhuleni nalo mntu. Iqabane lakho linokuba sisixhobo esibalulekileyo kuwe ukuba umamela kakuhle, kwaye unokwazi ukunxibelelana ngento ozimisele ukuyenza ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho busebenze.
Umzekelo, ungatsho izinto ezinje, 'Ndibuhlungu kakhulu kukuqhumisela ngoluhlobo. Ndiyabona ukuba andiluphathi kakuhle uxinzelelo, kwaye ngenxa yendlela endikhuliswe ngayo, andifundanga ndlela isempilweni yokujongana nayo. Ndifunda izakhono zokujamelana noxinzelelo ngcono. Ungandixola? Yazi ukuba ndiyayazi ingxaki ngoku kwaye ndiyasebenza ukuyilungisa. '
Ukuba unengxaki yokugcina uzolile, ugxile, kwaye ugxile, usebenza kubudlelwane ngendlela esempilweni, ukufuna iingcebiso kwangoko kunokuba kuncede ubudlelwane bakho buhambe ngendlela esempilweni. Ngokukhawuleza ukungena kwi-counselling, ngcono amathuba akho okuba ubudlelwane bakho businda.
