Ukwahlukana kunokuba kuhle emtshatweni ngokuxhomekeke kwiimeko zesibini. Ukuba omabini amaqabane azimisele ukusebenza ngeengxaki ezikhoyo, ukwahlukana kunokuba yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokwenza imicimbi nganye ngaphambi kokudibana kwakhona. Ngale nto ithethwayo, malunga Iipesenti ezingama-80 zokwahlula ekugqibeleni kukhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato.
Xa Ukwahlukana Kukulungele Ukutshata
Ukwahlukana kunokunika amaqabane omabini ixesha lokucinga malunga nobudlelwane nokuba bafuna ukuya phambili. Inokuvumela indawo ukuba ibone ukuba ubomi bunokuba njani ngaphandle kwelinye iqabane. Ikwanika omabini amaqabane inkululeko ethile yokuchonga imiba kubudlelwane. Ukuba ukhetha ukudibanisa, ezi mfuno kungabelwana ngazo kwaye kuxoxwe ngazo. Ukuba nobabini nizimisele kwaye niyakwazi ukuhlangabezana nezi mfuno, oko kunokubangela ubudlelwane obanelisayo nobomeleleyo. Kuphononongo lwezibini ezithi Bahlukene kwaye bafaka uqhawulo-mtshato kodwa bakhethe ukuxolelana , abaphandi bafumene le mxholo ulandelayo:
- Iinzame ezininzi zoxolelwaniso
- Ukwenza izijekulo ezikhulu
- Ndikulungele ukwenza umsebenzi kwaye sikhule kunye njengesibini
- Iingcebiso ngeenkcukacha zoqhawulo mtshato
- Ukwabiwa ngokulinganayo koqhawulo mtshato
- Ipropathi yoLuntu kunye nokuSinda
Ukufuna uMcebisi
Ukwahlukana kunokukunika zombini ithuba elihle lokuzibonakalisa kwaye uchithe ixesha elithile usebenza kwizinto zakho. Ukwahlula kunokuqaqambisa isidingo sokusebenza kwimiba enxulumeneunxibelelwano, uncamathiselo,ukuhlukunyezwa kwesiyobisi, kunye nokwenzakala ebuntwaneni okuchaphazelayo njengomntu omkhulu. Le micimbi inokuchaphazela kakubi umtshato wakho kunye nobudlelwane bakho nabanye kwaye inokuba luncedo kakhulu kwaye iguqule ubomi ukuze usebenze.
Kunini Ukungalungi Ukwahlula
Ukwahlukana kunokonakalisa umtshato ukuba elinye iqabane alinanjongo yoxolelwaniso, kodwa likhokelela kwelinye iqabane. Amanye amaqabane anokuziva enexhala malunga nendlelainkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshatoiya kuphathwa okanye isenokungafuni nokucela uqhawulo-mtshato. Ukuba uziva uxhalabile ngokuxelela iqabane lakho, unga:
- Thetha nomcebisi okanye igqwetha malunga neengcebiso kunye nenkxaso
- Cinga ngezibonelelo zokusombulula oku ngokukhawuleza
- Yazi ukuba okukhona ulindile, kokukhona kuya kuba nzima ukuxelela iqabane lakho
Ukulawula iqabane lakho
Ukwahlukana akufuneki kusetyenziswe njengesoyikiso kwiqabane lakho, ngakumbi ukuba unenjongo yokuzama ukulungisa ubudlelwane. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ukugrogrisa ngokwahlukana okanye ukuqhawula umtshato neqabane lakho kunokubangela umonakalo omkhulu kwisiseko sobudlelwane bakho. Ukuba ufuna ukuqhubeka nokusebenza kubudlelwane bakho, kodwa awonwabanga, cinga malunga nokuba yeyiphi imiba yobudlelwane ongonwabanga ngayo. Zama ukubiza ngendlela engathathi hlangothi, ngokubanzi xa uziva uzolile.
Imigaqo yokwahlukana
Ukuba ukhetha ukwahlukana, yiza nesicwangciso kunye malunga nokuba nobabini nifuna ukujongana njani noxolelwaniso, ixesha elimisiweyo, into eniza kuyixelela abahlobo kunye nosapho, kunye nokuba kuya kufuneka nithethe kangaphi. Akukho mpendulo zichanekileyo. Logama nje nina nobabini nikhululekile kwisicwangciso kwaye ninokuvumelana ngento nicinga ukuba yeyona ilungileyo, niyazilungiselela unxibelelwano olufanelekileyo ngexesha lokwahlukana. Yiya kule mibuzo ilandelayo ukukunceda uqalise:
- Lingakanani ixesha esifuna ukulichitha ngokwahlukana ngaphambi kokuvavanya kwakhona ukubuyela kunye okanye ukudlula kuqhawulo mtshato?
- Ngaba sobabini sikulungele ukubona umntu omnye, kunye nomcebisi wesibini ukuba basebenze kwimiba yethu, kunye nobunzima bethu njengesibini?
- Siza kwabelana njani ngokwahlukana nabahlobo bethu kunye nosapho?
- Ngaba sikhululekile ukuya kwiminyhadala kunye, kwaye ukuba akunjalo sizahlulahlula njani impilo yethu yentlalo?
- Ngaba siya kuthandana ngexesha lokwahlukana kwethu, siyeke ukuthandana ngokupheleleyo, okanye sihlolisise ezinye ubudlelwane?
- Ukuba siceba ukubona abanye abantu, liliphi inqanaba lokusondelelana okulindelweyo?
- Ngaba siza kuxoxa ngobunye ubudlelwane kunye?
- Siluphatha njani unxibelelwano ngeli xesha? Ngaba kufuneka sijongane, kwaye ukuba kunjalo kangaphi?
- Siceba njani ukuphatha iiakhawunti zebhanki ekwabelwana ngazo?
Xa abantwana bebandakanyeka
Ukuba ukhetha ukueyahlukileyo kunye nabantwana bayabandakanyeka, baxelele kuphela ubuncinci kwaye uqiniseke ukuba ugcina iingxoxo zakho kunye nobudala obufanelekileyo. Khumbula, ayamkelekanga kwaphela kwaye yenzakalisa umntwana ukubekwa embindini wempikiswano yabazali kunye nokungavisisani. Oku kunokubangela ukonzakala kwengqondo emntwaneni, nokuba umdala kangakanani. Yazi ukuba nizahlukana nobabini niyakudinga ukufumana indlelaUmzali ofanelekileyokwaye uyeke ukuthetha kakubi malunga neqabane lakho phambi komntwana. Ukuba ufuna naluphi na uncedo olongezelelekileyo koku, nxibelelana nomcebisi okanye ugqirha ojolise ekungavisisani emtshatweni okanye kuqhawulo mtshato.
Ukuphilisa Kuthatha Ixesha
Thatha ixesha lakho lokulungisa eyona nto ilungele wena neqabane lakho ngexesha lokwahlukana. Ukwahlukana kunokuba ngamava anikhanyayo nobabini kwaye akusoloko kukhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato.
