Khawuzibuze, 'Ngaba ucinga ngam njengoko ndicinga ngaye?' Amadoda nabasetyhini bacinga ngokwahlukileyo, kwaye ngelixa enye indlela ingangcono kunenye, umahluko wokucinga unokubadina abantu basetyhini abafuna ukuqonda indlela amadoda acinga ngayo. Umbhali kunye nenkokheli yocweyo UAlison Armstrong inikeza iingcebiso zeengcali ukunceda abantu basetyhini ngconoqonda indlela amadoda acinga ngayo- kunye nemfihlo yokuukwenza ubudlelwane bube ngcononje ngeziphumo.
Umahluko phakathi kwamadoda nabafazi
U-Armstrong uthi bambalwa kakhulu abantu basetyhini abayiqondayo indlela yokucinga eyahlukileyo phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini, ukanti iminqweno ihlala injalo. 'Sahluke kakhulu kunokuba sicinga! Ekuphela kwendlela endiye ndafumanisa ukuba amadoda nabafazi bayafana kungumnqweno wethu ophambili. Umnqweno wokuthandwa, umnqweno wokwamkelwa kanye ngendlela esiyiyo. Umnqweno wokuthanda, ukuthanda ngokupheleleyo kunye nokwenziwa ukuba uthando lomntu lwamkelwe ngokupheleleyo kwaye luxatyiswe. '
Amanqaku afanelekileyo- Isikhokelo seZipho zeKhwenkwe
- Izinto ezili-10 ekufuneka zenziwe ngoMhla wokuqala
- Iifoto ezili-10 eziMnyama zabafazi abanga
Umntu WamaStoyike?
Amadoda awanqunyulwanga kwiimvakalelo zabo njengoko uninzi lwabasetyhini lunokucinga, utshilo u-Armstrong. Ingxaki eqhelekileyo kukuba abafazi bacinga ukuba amadoda anqunyulwe kwiimvakalelo zawo. Ngokwenyani, iimvakalelo zamadoda zikwindawo yokoqobo emizimbeni yabo. Abasetyhini baziva bonwabile embindini wesifuba sabo, njengokungcangcazela kolonwabo. Indoda, xa iziva yonwabe, sisifuba sayo esingaphezulu kunye namagxa kunye nentamo ezalisa amandla. Ukuba umjongile, uya kuzikhukhumeza ngokoqobo. Uya kubonakala emkhulu. Ukuba unomzuzwana wokonwaba kwaye wonwabile ngokwenene, uphuma uye esifubeni nasezingalweni nasezandleni zakhe, kwaye kulapho ufumana khona i-high-fives okanye utsibe ukubetha umnqamlezo. Kodwa xa ndibuza amadoda 'Uziva phi ukonwaba?' bajongeka bedidekile. Ngokwenene bahoya kakhulu abantu ababhinqileyo bonwabile kunokuba bona bonwabile! '
Ukucinga Ngothando
Omnye umahluko omkhulu kukuba abafazi basekela izigqibo ezininzi kuthando, utshilo u-Armstrong. 'Njengomfazi, ukuba ndiyakuthanda kwaye nawe uyandithanda, kufanele sitshate. Yinto elula nje leyo. Kwindoda, ukuba iyamthanda umfazi yenye yezinto ezininzi. Inye into enkulu aza kuyithatha ingqalelo kukuba uhambelana nobomi ocinga ukuba buza yena, iinjongo zakhe. Kuba engalindelanga ukuba anikezele ngobomi bakhe ukuze adibanise nobakhe, oku kunokuba kubaluleke kakhulu. Amadoda amamela ngononophelo kubantu ababhinqileyo abazithethayo malunga namaphupha abo nokuba bafuna ntoni, kwaye bacinga, 'Ndingamnika lonto? Ngaba ndifuna ukumnika loo nto? ' Kuyenzeka ukuba amadoda afune ukuba sizalisekise amaphupha ethu, kodwa angafuni ukuba ngumntu oza kubakho xa sisenza.
Umahluko wemisebenzi emininzi
Akuyimfihlakalo ukuba abantu basetyhini ngokubanzi banakho ukwenza imisebenzi emininzi kunamadoda. Abasetyhini banikela ingqalelo kwizinto ezininzi ngaxeshanye. Asinakuze sinike nantoni na ingqalelo yethu engafaniyo, utshilo u-Armstrong. Yindalo loo nto kumfazi. Kodwa amadoda awathandeki ukuba ngabaninzi abaxhamli bemisebenzi. Bahoya isiphumo esinye ngexesha. Bayazibophelela kweso siphumo sinye kwaye bajolise kuyo, kwaye bayakhathazeka xa bengenayo le nto bayifunayo. Kunokuba nzima emfazini ukukuqonda. '
Yintoni Amadoda Ayifunayo
'Amadoda ajonga izinto ezahlukeneyo kubudlelwane bezothando kunokuba kunjalo nakwezinye ubudlelwane, utshilo u-Armstrong. Bajonge into abangayiyo, kwaye igama lalo lelo libhinqa. Ziimpawu ezingazifumaniyo kubo okanye kubahlobo babo. Zininzi kakhuluujonge ukukhulisa, umntu obakhathaleleyo kwaye ubakhathalele kwaye unike ingqalelo ngendlela yokuba abantu basetyhini benziwe ngokukodwa ukuba banikele ingqalelo. Amadoda afumana isixa esikhulu sentuthuzelo kumfazi okholwayo kubo. Ukuba ucinga ukuba angayenza, kufuneka akwazi ukuyenza. Ibenza babe nesibindi. Indoda nayo ikhangela umfazi oya kuphendula ekudlaleni kwakhe. Abasetyhini bahlala bezimisele ngakumbi. Ukhangele ukuba avuye. Ukukrokrelwa. Ukuze amenze ahleke. '
Amadoda Anqwenela Ukunyaniseka
U-Armstrong uthi amadoda afuna umfazi oza kuba semva kwakhe ngamaxesha amnandi namaxesha amabi. 'Elinye lamagama abawasebenzisayo kakhulu,' Ndikhangela umfazi oza kuba nomqolo wam. ' Xa ndithetha oko kubafazi, bafana, 'Ithetha ukuthini loo nto?' Luhlobo lokunyaniseka olunikezelwa ngamadoda kubuhlobo babo. Xa umntu ezibophelela emntwini, uthenga yonke loo phakheji. Ukuba umntu ugxeka umhlobo wakhe, uthi 'Unjalo kanye.' Uyabamkela obo buhlobo okanye iqabane loshishino okanye umfazi okanye intombi ngazo zonke iindlela ayiyo, okanye zonke iindlela ezingezizo.
Abasetyhini Zama Ukutshintsha Amadoda
Abasetyhini ngokubanzi abanalo utyekelo olufanayo lokwamkela abantu ukuba bangobani, utshilo u-Armstrong. 'Ayisiyonto abafazi abaqhele ukuyenza ngokwendalo, utshilo. 'Abasetyhini benza into encinci ngexesha elinye. Asitsho nje, 'Yile ndlela ayiyo.' Sithi, 'Le yindlela ayiyo, kwaye ndiyawathanda la malungu, kwaye nala malungu ndiza kuwatshintsha.' '
Amadoda kunye nokuGxekwa
U-Armstrong uthi: 'Ukugxekwa kuphelisa ubudlelwane obuninzi ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na into endiyicingayo. Ukugxekwa akubangeli ukuba umntu atshintshe. Kuba abantu basetyhini bathanda ukuphendula kugxekwa, sicinga ukuba ukugxeka indoda kuya kuyitshintsha. Kodwa yenza nje ukuba indoda izive ingamkelekanga ngokungathi kufuneka igcine umgama wayo. Kumenza azive ukuba kufanelekile ukuba anganiki kwayeukubandakanyeka kancinci. '
Ukubaluleka kweNdumiso
U-Armstrong ugxininisa ukubaluleka kokudumisa amadoda xa izinto zenziwe ngokufanelekileyo. 'Banike uxabiso oluninzi xa besenza izinto ngokufanelekileyo! Kwaye yenze ngendlela aya kuphendula ngayo. Amadoda ayathanda ukuva uxabiso, kodwa aphendula ngakumbi ekuboneni. Ngapha koko, izinto eziphume kwifashoni, obubhinqileyo obuzikhuphe kwifashoni, ziyaxatyiswa ngabantu. Ukuba sitshatile kwaye sihlala kunye, nantoni na emxhasayo ekubeni ngumboneleli iya kumenza azive exabisekile. Ke ukuba ndiyamenzaisidlo saseminiukuthatha ukusebenza naye, olo luxabiso. Yinto encinci kum leyo, kodwa iyamenza azive kamnandi. '
Abafazi abaphumeleleyo
Ngokuka-Armstrong, intsomi yokuba abafazi abaphumeleleyo bayoyikisa okanye abathandeki emadodeni ayinyani. 'Abafazi bacinga lonto! Kodwa ayisiyonyani.Amadoda atsaliweUkuncoma nokunqwenela abafazi abaphumeleleyo. Into eboyikisayo sisimo sengqondo esiza nabasetyhini abaninzi abaphumeleleyo. Kwaye isimo sengqondo sikukuba, 'Ndifuna ntoni kuwe?' Xa umntu obhinqileyo ewaxabisa amadoda kwaye nokuba anganakho ukufaka isandla, uphulukana nesimo sengqondo esigcina amadoda kude. '
Umahluko wamadoda
U-Armstrong akacebisi ukuba asebenze ebuthathaka ukuze atsalane amadoda. Hayi, akunjalo, utshilo. 'Umfazi kufuneka atshintshe ubudlelwane bakhe namadoda kwindawo ephambili. Okukhona siqonda ukuba amadoda ahlukile, kulula ukuba uwancome. Kukho iindlela abantu abacinga ngazo, iindlela abasondela ngazo kwizinto abangasoloko benazo abantu basetyhini. Kulungile ukufuna amadoda. Akukho hlazo kuloo nto. Senziwe ukuba sibe ngamaqabane. '
Amadoda njengabantu ngabanye
Ewe kunjalo, ngelixa kuyinyani ukuba amadoda nabafazi ngokubanzi bacinga ngokwahlukileyo, kubalulekile ukuba ungalahli onke amadoda kuhlobo olunye. Yonke indoda yahlukile, ineengcinga neemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba umhlobo wakho oyindoda okanye iqabane lakho ucinga ntoni-mbuze!
